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How To Be Less Anxious And Awkward About Money | Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren

Jan 15, 2025 1h 2m 22 insights
<p>A candid conversation about money: How much is enough? How to find real security?</p> <p> </p> <p><a href="https://www.sebeneselassie.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Sebene Selassie</a>, an author and meditation teacher. She writes the popular newsletter <a href="https://sebeneselassie.substack.com/about" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Ancestors to Elements</em></a> and her first book is called, <a href="https://www.sebeneselassie.com/mybook" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>You Belong</em></a>. </p> <p> </p> <p>Jeff Warren is also an author and meditation teacher. He writes the popular Substack newsletter Home Base and is the coauthor, along with me, of a book called <a href="https://jeffwarren.org/books/meditation-fidgety-skeptics/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics</em></a>. And he is the co-host of the mind/bod adventure pod.</p> <p> </p> <p>This episode is part of our monthlong <a href="https://www.meditatehappier.com/podcast-playlists/new-years-2025-do-life-better" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Do Life Better</em></a> series. </p> <p><strong>We talk about:</strong></p> <ul> <li>How much is enough </li> <li>The illusion of security </li> <li>The importance of being able to talk to your friends about this stuff</li> <li>The power of identifying your own money story, in other words, finding the point of origination for your own neuroses on the subject</li> </ul> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p><strong>Related Episodes:</strong></p> <ul> <li><a href="https://www.meditatehappier.com/podcast-playlists/new-years-2025-do-life-better" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Do Life Better</em></a></li> <li><a href="https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/omega-826" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">How to Avoid the Toilet Vortex of Anxiety | Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/medparty-omega" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">How to Stay Calm No Matter What's Happening | Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/sebene-selassie-jeff-warren-553" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Meditation Party: The "Sh*t Is Fertilizer" Edition | Sebene Selassie & Jeff Warren</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/sebene-selassie-jeff-warren-601" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Meditation Party with Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren: Psychedelics, ADHD, Waking Up From Distraction, and Singing Without Being Self-Conscious</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/meditation-party-3" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Meditation Party: Magic, Mystery, Intuition, Tattoos, and Non-Efforting | Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren</a></li> </ul> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p><strong>Sign up for Dan's newsletter</strong> <a href="http://www.danharris.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>here</strong></a></p> <p><strong>Follow Dan on social:</strong> <a href="https://bit.ly/3tGigG5" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Instagram</strong></a><strong>,</strong> <a href="https://bit.ly/3FOA84J" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>TikTok</strong></a></p> <p><strong>Ten Percent Happier online</strong> <a href="https://bit.ly/46TZglY" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>bookstore</strong></a></p> <p><strong>Subscribe to our</strong> <a href="https://bit.ly/3FybRzD" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>YouTube Channel</strong></a></p> <p><strong>Our favorite playlists on:</strong> <a href="https://spoti.fi/3Qa8kMT" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Anxiety</strong></a><strong>,</strong> <a href="https://spoti.fi/3MjtMxF" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Sleep</strong></a><strong>,</strong> <a href="https://spoti.fi/3QvyA5J" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Relationships</strong></a><strong>,</strong> <a href="https://spoti.fi/3QxZASc" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Most Popular Episodes</strong></a></p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href="https://www.meditatehappier.com/podcast/tph/phap-luu-889" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.meditatehappier.com/podcast/tph/meditation-party-892</a></p> <p> </p> <p><strong>Additional Resources:</strong></p> <ul> <li><a href="https://www.eomega.org/workshops/meditation-party-2025?itm_source_h=search&amp;itm_source_s=search&amp;itm_medium_h=tile&amp;itm_medium_s=tile&amp;itm_campaign_h=searchcr&amp;itm_campaign_s=searchcr" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Register for Meditation Party at Omega, October 24 - 26, 2025</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.gofundme.com/f/surviving-and-rebuilding-through-the-loss-of-my-mom" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Allison Strickland's GoFundMe</a></li> </ul> <p> </p>
Actionable Insights

1. Find Security Independent of Conditions

Engage in contemplative practice to cultivate a sense of being okay independent of external conditions, finding safety in the present moment through radical acceptance of change or connection to something unchanging.

2. Identify Your Money Story

Understand the point of origination for your neuroses around money to see how your relationship to money is based on your experience and conditioning.

3. Examine Money Narratives

Explore your personal money story to reveal false narratives around scarcity and ’enoughness’ that may be unconsciously running your life and causing anxiety.

4. Investigate Suffering Mindfully

Treat whatever is troubling you, including money anxieties, as an alarm bell to wake up and investigate mindfully, using it as a portal for self-discovery.

5. Contemplate “What Is Enough?”

Use the question ‘What is enough?’ as a koan or riddle to deeply contemplate your relationship with money and challenge notions of scarcity and accumulation.

6. Seek Balance Over Certainty

Shift from clinging to the illusion of certainty in money to seeking balance by understanding what you truly need and planning responsibly for the future.

7. Cultivate Interconnectivity, Generosity

Deliberately cultivate interconnectivity in your life by being generous with your money and connections, and allowing others to be generous for you, as this builds ultimate support.

8. Practice Conscious Generosity

Regularly practice generosity, such as tithing your income, by giving thoughtful consideration to what you want to contribute and share, ensuring it comes from a full heart.

9. Reframe Money as Love

Consciously reframe money transactions as an exchange of care or love, such as by writing ‘money is love’ on checks, to shift from a mindset of tightness and scarcity.

10. Keep Money in Motion

Adopt the principle that money, like everything, should be in constant motion and movement, rather than stagnant, to free it from misery and allow it to flow.

11. Spend on Support, Help

View spending money on support and help as a way to spread resources around the community and family, fostering a larger ecosystem of exchange rather than holding onto it tightly.

12. Talk Openly With Friends

Engage in honest conversations about money with friends, fostering care and support, as this can help untangle personal attitudes and navigate financial challenges.

13. Allow Yourself To Be Helped

Be open to receiving help around money, such as through a GoFundMe, as it’s a vulnerable yet beautiful way to allow others to support you in times of need.

14. Seek Support, Create Merit

When seeking support, recognize that you are creating a ‘field of merit,’ giving others the opportunity to build their own goodness, making the act of receiving reciprocal.

15. Offer Something in Exchange

When engaging in an exchange, always offer something, even a small amount, to maintain balance and acknowledge the energy exchange, rather than taking something for free.

16. Practice Self-Compassion, Realistic Self-Talk

Develop the ability to talk to yourself with self-compassion, acknowledging that things may not always be fine but trusting in your capacity to do your best in any situation.

17. Premeditate Worst-Case Scenarios

Practice the Stoic technique of ‘premeditation of evils’ by picturing the worst-case scenario when feeling anxious, to realize you can deal with it even if you don’t like it.

18. Embrace Money’s Impermanence

Cultivate a broader perspective on the ebb and flow and impermanence of money, understanding that there will be times of more and less, to reduce anxiety and foster trust.

19. Understand Your Wiring

Learn about your personal wiring, such as neurodiversity, in conjunction with your money stories, to better organize your life structures and support yourself financially.

20. Do Internal Money Work

Engage in internal work to shift your understanding and relationship to money, especially when dealing with complex financial concepts like donation-based models.

21. Practice Gratitude Lists

Engage in a journaling practice of creating gratitude lists to cultivate a sense of enoughness and abundance in your life.

22. Read “The Soul of Money”

Read ‘The Soul of Money’ by Lynn Twist to learn about money and challenge common myths like scarcity, ‘more is better,’ and the belief that these things can’t change.