Develop an “open heart” by bringing an attitude of warmth and wisdom—seeing things as they are and recognizing their impermanence—toward whatever arises in your mind, as this is key to inhabiting the present moment more fully.
To achieve a radical sense of presence, surrender vigilance about the future, stop tracking phenomena as threat or opportunity, and allow yourself to be profoundly porous and defenseless. This entails a willingness to care more about awareness than one’s life, even if just for a moment.
To be present, avoid identifying with discursive thought or the narrative of the moment; instead, re-establish mindfulness and metacognitive awareness of what’s arising and passing. This means not getting stuck in the “bubble of thought.”
When memories, especially difficult or “electrified” ones, arise in meditation, bless them with presence, wisdom, and love by allowing them to be known and understood from a new perspective. This process helps digest and metabolize the past, making it less sticky and more whole.
When memories arise, give radical permission for them, along with associated feelings and bodily sensations, to unfurl in the space of awareness without contention. Consciously absorb their intensity, “loving them to death” by accepting them rather than fighting them, which helps digest their stickiness.
Do not try to sever yourself from memory or the past during meditation, as the path to deeper presence takes you through it. Understand that memories are not an interruption but an organic part of the healing process.
Understand that painful past episodes are often encoded in a primitive frame of reference; consciously import your current wisdom into those past moments to understand the “innocence of your pain” and help digest it. This happens organically by being willing to learn and be softened by everything.
Recognize that much of our focus on the past is an attempt to leverage it for future safety; practice letting go of this future orientation to release the “squeezed” feeling of the present and enter its “bottomlessness.”
Engage in contemplations about death to consider what a futureless moment would feel like and how deeply your heart might surrender if the present moment were truly without a future. This fosters a very surrendered, porous, and undefended state.
Notice the compulsive self-assessment in meditation and life, which stems from an underlying need for safety and a constant questioning of “Am I okay?” or “Is this moment headed in the right direction?” Appreciate the innocence but also the confinement of this state.
Greet your animal condition’s vulnerability with acceptance, love, and patience, rather than demonizing yourself for defensive or territorial movements of mind. Cultivate “infinite forgiveness for our own human fallibility,” loving these tendencies to death.
When encountering teachings that feel remote or out of reach, avoid turning them into a lesson about your own insufficiency, as this creates “static in the system.” Instead, approach them with curiosity and wonder, following the thread of sincerity that comes alive in your heart.
Be patient with your meditative progress, avoiding the compulsive habit of sampling data after every breath to assess how you’re doing against a single metric. Recognize that practice has many mechanisms of action and heals in various ways beyond one specific barometer.
Recognize the “tug of ensuring” the future as a form of agitation arising from the brain’s predictive modeling. Practice metabolizing and equanimizing this agitation by observing it as phenomena arising and passing.
Instead of shoring up defenses and trying to become invulnerable, move towards and embrace your vulnerability. Surrender more deeply to this feeling, trusting in the path of practice.
Learn to distinguish between true alarms (genuine threats) and false alarms (egoic threats, not existential). Practice de-escalating the arousal around false alarms, recognizing that not every perceived threat represents actual bodily harm or disaster.
Understand mindfulness practice as a form of “unsystematic exposure therapy,” where whatever can disrupt your peace will arise. This is a core element of practice, allowing you to habituate to everything that might disrupt your peace.
Understand “becoming” as the continuous sense of self across time and the impelling force of a deferred future, where happiness is always “out there.” Recognizing this pattern helps to see the suffering inherent in constantly striving and never fully arriving.
Have faith in the practice itself, understanding that its mechanisms are already encoded in the instructions and that transformation happens wordlessly. Avoid letting the “tides of becoming” hijack your practice by constantly seeking something extra to do.
Practice in environments conducive to safety, such as seclusion or retreats where ethical precepts are observed, to allow for the relinquishment of vigilance. This provides a modicum of safety necessary to surrender more deeply into the present moment.
While not strictly necessary, consider going on meditation retreats, as seclusion often helps people appreciate the multidimensional depth and radical potentials of awareness that may not fully dawn in daily practice.
Consider giving a name, even a playful one, to mental phenomena like fear or self-protective characters in your mind, as this can help to “tame” them by making them less amorphous and overwhelming. Be sensitive to when labels outlive their usefulness.
Download the “10% with Dan Harris” meditation app for guided meditations on stress, anxiety, sleep, focus, self-compassion, and more, plus access to live Zoom community sessions and ad-free podcast episodes. Try the 14-day trial by visiting danharris.com.