Start with empathy and compassion when trying to disabuse people of dangerous self-deceptions, as this approach is more powerful and effective than argument.
To effectively challenge someone’s delusion, understand the underlying psychological purpose it serves for them and explore alternative ways to meet that psychological need, rather than just presenting facts.
Approach conversations with those holding differing views by assuming they are trying to do what’s best for themselves and their loved ones, empathize with their underlying motivations, and then gently explain your different approach.
When someone holds a belief you disagree with, especially on sensitive topics like vaccine hesitancy, ask them directly about their specific fears and worries to understand their perspective, instead of immediately countering with data.
When addressing someone’s fears (e.g., vaccine hesitancy), validate their concerns as justified and stemming from good intentions, then share your own similar thought process and conclusion, rather than belittling them or just presenting facts.
Understand that your perception of reality is not necessarily the only or correct way to see the world, and that others may genuinely see things differently, which can foster empathy.
Instead of dismissing others’ beliefs as irrational or illogical, ask deeper questions about why people turn to those beliefs and what psychological role they serve for them.
Understanding the role of self-deception can lead to greater compassion for your own mind’s workings and for the minds of others, especially when they hold beliefs you disagree with.
Adopt a more compassionate stance towards yourself and others regarding self-deception, understanding that it often serves a functional purpose, especially in times of vulnerability or crisis.
Understand that foregoing self-deception can be a form of privilege, as people in difficult circumstances often rely on ‘wildest self-deceptions’ for hope and coping, making it important to respond with less judgment.
Believe your romantic partner possesses very positive traits (e.g., handsome, kind, generous), even if not entirely true, as these positive illusions can lead to a happier and more stable relationship.
Allow yourself the self-deception that your child is the most special, as this ‘useful delusion’ helps parents endure the challenges of raising children and fosters a secure upbringing.
Recognize that a ‘delusional sense of optimism’ can be functional and necessary to navigate daily life, motivating you to be productive, a good parent, partner, and community member, even if it means not seeing reality ‘clearly’.
During difficult, open-ended challenges, create a short-term, self-deceiving timeline (e.g., ’liberation is a month away’) to soothe anxieties and make the situation more bearable.
When facing monumental challenges or despair, break them into bite-sized portions (e.g., ‘one day at a time’) to make them easier to navigate and survive.
To encourage a desired behavior (like vaccination), emphasize the number of people who are adopting it, rather than focusing on those who are not, as people tend to follow social norms.
To encourage vaccine uptake, create a sense of artificial scarcity by personalizing doses and communicating that an individual’s specific dose will be given to someone else if not claimed, leveraging the fear of loss.
For beliefs shared by large numbers of people (e.g., dangerous mass delusions), psychological explanations and interventions are necessary, as direct confrontation or force is not feasible.
When experiencing powerful emotions or desires, reframe them in your mind from ‘I am angry’ to ’there is anger,’ to see them as transient phenomena rather than core aspects of your identity.
Regularly remind yourself that you are not your emotions, they are transient experiences happening to you, and practice patience with them to see their true nature.
To gain perspective on your emotions, record what you’re feeling onto a voice recorder and listen back, allowing you to observe your experiences from a slight distance rather than being fully immersed in them.
Allow yourself a fleeting thought about your own mortality to vivify the present moment, fostering gratitude and a healthy sense of urgency, rather than agonizing or denying it.
Remind yourself that any interaction or meeting might be the last, which can make you more attentive, mindful, compassionate, forgiving, and empathetic towards others.
For meditators or practitioners, it is possible to contemplate mortality on a regular, consistent basis without feeling overwhelmed, potentially leading to deeper insights.
Embrace empathy and compassion as a core mandate in your life, as it leads to greater understanding and sympathy for the world, rather than anger or contempt.