Adopt the belief that empathy is a skill that can be developed and grown, as this mindset encourages greater effort and engagement in empathic practices, especially with those you disagree with.
Work to overcome the tendency to be harder on oneself than on others, acknowledging that personal struggles and failures are normal and okay, which also helps open one up to others.
Perform an internal audit to reflect on your core values and the kind of person you aspire to be, using this self-awareness to guide your choices and cultivate desired habits.
Reframe actions from mere obligations to meaningful commitments by connecting to your purpose and asking why the action brings you meaning, thereby shifting from extrinsic to intrinsic motivation.
Differentiate between vicariously feeling someone’s pain (empathic distress) and caring for them with a hopeful vision for their well-being (empathic concern), as the latter is more sustainable and helpful for both parties.
Cultivate non-attachment to the specific outcomes of your kind actions, understanding that kindness and compassion are internal states to be cultivated and expressed, rather than being contingent on external results.
Broaden your curiosity about other people’s experiences, actively seeking out diverse perspectives and narratives to enhance your understanding and empathy.
Engage with fiction, theater, film, and other narratives, especially those with protagonists different from yourself, as this acts as a ‘performance enhancing drug’ for empathy, expanding your understanding of diverse lives.
Actively seek out and get to know people from different ideological perspectives and backgrounds to broaden your empathy and deepen your connection to a wider range of humanity.
Engage in active listening and shared storytelling with individuals with whom you disagree ideologically, as this empathic connection can be surprisingly effective for understanding and persuasion.
Take control of your emotional responses, intentionally directing your empathy towards individuals or groups that align with your values, rather than letting inherent biases dictate your focus.
Counter loneliness and personal distress by engaging in acts of service or connection for others, recognizing that helping others is a significant source of personal joy, mental health, and well-being.
Intentionally schedule and commit to regular practices of connection with others, such as checking in with friends, writing gratitude notes, or engaging in compassion meditation, prioritizing regularity over intensity.
Engage in contemplative practices like Metta or compassion meditation to actively cultivate sustainable empathy, reduce stress, and maintain strong connections without experiencing burnout.
When experiencing personal struggles or failures, visualize a large group of people suffering in the exact same way, to foster a sense of common humanity and turn suffering into a bridge for connection.
Instead of aiming to ‘fix’ someone, which can be disempowering, offer your presence, ask what they need, and commit to doing your best to fulfill that, adopting a more human and open approach to support.
Broaden your definition of ‘helping’ beyond just curing or fixing a problem; understand that showing up, offering goodwill, and providing comfort are also profound forms of assistance, especially when outcomes are beyond your control.
Challenge the expectation that interactions with strangers will be awkward; instead, initiate simple connections like saying hello, as these can positively impact your day and sense of connection.
Actively reach out to others through phone calls or messages, especially during times of shared struggle, to seize opportunities for common humanity and deepen connections.
Cultivate intentionality, mindfulness, and awareness regarding how social, economic, and technological forces influence your behavior and well-being, rather than passively letting them shape you.
Recognize that kindness and empathy are not always easy; they can be radical acts that require effort and bravery, especially when facing internal or social resistance.
Understand and embrace the mutual influence you have over others and they have over you, recognizing that human beings are inherently connected and shape each other’s behaviors.
To encourage positive behaviors like kindness and empathy, highlight what is already being done by others, as people are more likely to engage when they perceive it as a popular social norm.
Actively notice and acknowledge acts of kindness and empathy happening around you, as recognizing these positive social norms can increase your own desire to be empathic.
Make acts of kindness and empathy visible and ’loud’ for others, especially if you are in a leadership position, to encourage their contagion and give people permission to express their own kind side.
Recognize that empathy can be a useful tool for persuasion; when you believe in its utility, you are more likely to use it and become a more effective advocate for your own position.
Before engaging in any action, practice values affirmation by asking yourself ‘why,’ ‘what is the purpose here,’ and ‘how does this connect with who I want to be,’ to imbue the action with depth and meaning.
Recognize and embrace the inherent value of empathy, kindness, and connection for their own sake, aspiring to be part of a species that embodies these characteristics, beyond just personal benefits.
Work to dissolve the perceived strong distinction between yourself and others, as this practice can help in letting go of deep fears and fostering a sense of interconnectedness.
Recognize that individual practices are not enough; seek and advocate for systemic support within your environment when trying to help others, ensuring you also have the necessary resources and backing.