When feeling stuck or in a rut, instead of running and hiding, turn directly towards what “ain’t pretty and ain’t fun.” This fundamental contemplative gesture always makes things workable and helps them change.
If in a tough mental spot with low or high energy, assume a meditation posture wherever you are (e.g., folding a pillow and sitting on it). This can bring online qualities of resilience, compassion, and wisdom that didn’t feel accessible before.
When your imperfections or failure to meet ideals are highlighted, practice self-forgiveness, self-compassion, and patience for yourself. Beating yourself up will keep you stuck, but an honest look allows you to eventually reach for meditation.
Recognize and see perfectionism as a pattern of indulgence to short-circuit the habit of entrenching yourself in stuckness. Striving towards an ideal can sap your energy, motivation, and self-confidence.
Recognize that the sum total of what you pay attention to is your life, making where you put your attention a matter of “life or death.” This deep understanding provides intrinsic motivation to take back your attention and live the life that matters most.
Take time to reflect on what you give your attention to, what saps it away, and get in touch with a feeling of truly caring about this, because “that’s your life.”
Figure out where you truly want to put your attention and fill your life with those things, setting up your environment to make it easy to give full attention to what matters (e.g., going to a meditation center, calling friends during a bike ride).
Instead of reflexively turning on entertainment, pause and ask, “What would be good right now?” or “What’s the most awesome way to spend the next hour of my life?” This allows for intentional choices that feel good and avoid guilt.
Practice meditation by setting an intention to pay attention to something simple (like breath, body, or sound), noticing when the mind gets distracted, and gently guiding attention back. This trains the brain to get stronger in its capacity to rest and focus on a single thing.
Change your phone to black and white mode to make it less visually stimulating. This can reduce how frequently you’re pulled off of important things.
Take 15 minutes to audit your phone notifications and turn off notifications for apps you don’t need them for. This helps reduce distractions.
Notice the areas, times, and places where you multitask and actively try to reduce it. This helps reclaim your attention and focus on what truly matters.
When strong emotions lead to reinforcing thought spirals, shift attention to sensations in your body (e.g., hands, belly, feet). This acts as a “circuit breaker” without running away from the emotion, helping you reclaim attention and relate to emotions differently.
To get into your body, simply choose to turn attention to ordinary sensations in your hands (e.g., clammy, dry, warm, cool, pressure, softness, tightness, vibration). This is an accessible way to bring awareness into the body and break mental loops.
By regularly bringing attention to body sensations during emotions, you become attuned to the body’s “somatic language” of experiencing emotion. This helps you know yourself better and spot emotional spirals earlier, like an “inner meteorologist.”
To overcome powerlessness, start by taking even the smallest actions and take satisfaction in them. This builds momentum, makes you want to take more actions, and changes your relationship to life, feeling more engaged and seeing opportunities for influence.
Be willing to celebrate small wins and contributions, no matter how tiny (e.g., a smile, a kind gesture). This changes the mind’s climate to one more satisfied with engagement, building an attitude of readiness to help.
Adopt the attitude of “How can I help?” This doesn’t mean solving all problems but can involve tiny, unglamorous things that put you in a better mood and benefit those in your orbit, leading to more fulfilling connections.
Recognize that needing support is natural for social mammals, and overcome the fear of asking for help by understanding that it gives others an opportunity to feel fulfilled, connected, and generous. This is a “good thing” and can make them “enlightenment-prone.”
Contemplate your finitude and mortality, as life is fleeting. This can revitalize you, shift priorities, and help you get unstuck by focusing on what you “really want to do.”
To reduce anxiety, boost social connection, and counteract negativity bias, practice awe by turning up your attention and curiosity to ordinary things (e.g., soap bubbles, a newborn baby). This develops appreciation and a “positive valence to the mind.”
Join challenges or boot up habits to get a “boost,” understanding that it’s okay if you don’t maintain the peak level of consistency forever. The skills and perspectives developed during consistent periods change your life and influence it going forward, even if you “fall off the wagon” later.
Understand that life is a dance with periods of high practice and periods of tending to immediate needs. Develop self-forgiveness, compassion, and mindfulness to carry you through tough times, knowing you’ll always come back to healthy habits.