Pema Chodron has seemingly been trying to prepare us for this pandemic for years, through a series of popular books, with titles such as When Things Fall Apart, Welcoming the Unwelcome, and The Wisdom of No Escape. But as you will hear, she is anything but gloomy. Like all of the great meditation teachers I've met, she has a lightness and a sense of humor about her. Notwithstanding her chipper demeanor, she has worked hard to point out to her readers and students that groundlessness and uncertainty are fundamental facts of life - which are becoming increasingly salient in our current crisis. Pema Chodron was born Deirdre Blomfield in Connecticut. She lived a conventional life, going to UC Berkeley, becoming a school teacher, and having a pair of kids. But after a rough divorce, she found herself adrift. During this time, she discovered Tibetan Buddhism, shaved her head, and became a nun. Now in her mid-eighties, she lives in rural Nova Scotia, where she is the director of Gampo Abbey. We connected with her on an old-school landline. We talked about how to actually welcome the unwelcome. We also discussed how to: befriend your demons, sympathize without being stupid, lighten up in the face of fear, and embrace chaos as "extremely good news." Where to find Pema Chodron online: Website: https://pemachodronfoundation.org/about/pema-chodron/ Twitter: Pema Chödrön (@AniPemaChodron) / https://twitter.com/AniPemaChodron Facebook: Pema Chodron / https://www.facebook.com/Pema.Chodron/ Instagram: AniPemaChodron (@anipemachodron) / https://www.instagram.com/anipemachodron/ Books Mentioned: When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron / https://www.amazon.com/When-Things-Fall-Apart-Difficult-ebook/dp/B00BBXJH2C Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chodron / https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07V77TZ33/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i1 Emotional Awareness by The Dalai Lama and Paul Ekman / https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Awareness-Overcoming-Psychological-Compassion/dp/0805090215 Other Resources Mentioned: Theravada Tradition / https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddhist_meditation#Contemporary_Therav%C4%81da Tonglen Practice / https://www.lionsroar.com/how-to-practice-tonglen/ For a limited time, we're offering a 40% discount on a year-long subscription to the app. Visit tenpercent.com/podcast40 to get your discount and get support for your meditation practice today. This promotion is only available to users without a current Ten Percent Happier app subscription. Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide We want to deeply thank and recognize healthcare workers, teachers, warehouse workers, grocery and food delivery workers for the essential role that they play in our lives. For FREE access to the app and hundreds of meditations and resources visit https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/pema-chodron-250
Actionable Insights
1. Cultivate Self-Awareness Through Meditation
Start a meditation practice to cultivate self-awareness, allowing you to self-reflect and become conscious of your own habitual patterns and tendencies towards fear or aggression.
2. Befriend Your Habitual Patterns
When acknowledging your habitual patterns, cultivate a kind attitude towards them; don’t make them an enemy, act them out, or repress them, but get to know their energy with a kind and open heart and mind.
3. Practice Open Acceptance in Meditation
Engage in meditation with an attitude of open acceptance towards whatever arises, without getting caught in ‘good and bad’ thinking.
4. Embrace Fear with Kindness
When fear arises, consider it an opportunity and place your fearful mind in ’the cradle of loving kindness,’ acknowledging it with warmth and acceptance.
5. Breathe Into Bodily Fear
When experiencing fear, shift your attention from thoughts to your body, locate where the fear is physically contracted, and breathe deeply into those places with a sense of opening and warmth on the in-breath and relaxation on the out-breath to help the contraction expand.
6. Release Fear-Escalating Thoughts
Become aware of your internal storylines that escalate fear, and through meditation, practice letting these thoughts go without feeding them, returning your attention to your physical experience.
7. Cultivate Inner Warmth with Metta
Engage in loving-kindness (Metta) or Tonglen practice to cultivate warmth towards your inner experiences, which helps in befriending your ‘demons’ and approaching them with humor.
8. Self-Friendliness Expands to Others
Cultivate unconditional friendliness and acceptance towards yourself, as this directly translates into an unconditional regard and openness towards other people.
9. Familiarize with Uncomfortable Feelings
Become very familiar with uncomfortable feelings of all kinds and avoid running away from them, as this process builds resilience and confidence to navigate difficult experiences.
10. Maintain an Open Heart
Strive to keep your heart open to difficult situations to the degree that you are able, acknowledging that this capacity will ebb and flow, which builds resilience over time.
11. Condemn the Act, Not the Person
When encountering actions you disagree with, condemn the action itself but not the person, recognizing their potential for change and inherent goodness.
12. Avoid Consuming Anger
Avoid letting anger consume you, as holding onto rage and bitterness only prolongs your suffering and keeps you metaphorically imprisoned by the situation or people that caused it.
13. Settle Your Mind for Insight
Cultivate inner calm and self-compassion, as settling your mind in this way can lead to fresh insights and new perspectives on how to approach challenging situations.
14. Calmness Impacts Others
Strive to cultivate inner calmness, recognizing that your settled presence can have a positive, calming impact on those around you, especially in stressful situations.