← 10% Happier with Dan Harris

Gretchen Rubin, Outer Order, Inner Calm

Mar 13, 2019 1h 22m 35 insights
Gretchen Rubin describes herself as a writer who relentlessly explores human nature to understand how we can make our lives better. Through her bestselling books and her award-winning podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin, she shares strategies that help people understand themselves and create a happier life. In this week's episode she sits down with Dan to discuss the connection between happiness and decluttering, which is also the topic of her latest book, "Outer Order, Inner Calm: Declutter and Organize to Make More Room for Happiness." Rubin provides insight on what clutter is doing to our minds, and how cleaning up can improve our outlook. The Plug Zone Website: https://gretchenrubin.com/ Social: @gretchenrubin
Actionable Insights

1. Prioritize Sleep for Self-Mastery

Ensure you get enough sleep and exercise, as these foundational habits are crucial for maintaining self-mastery, keeping your energy up, and making all other aspects of life and habit formation easier.

2. Tailor Habits to Energy Cycle

Adjust the timing of your habits to align with your personal energy cycle; for example, if you’re a morning person, tackle tasks like putting away clothes first thing in the morning when your energy is high, rather than at night when it’s low.

3. Apply ‘Love It, Use It, Need It’ Test

When deciding whether to keep an item, ask yourself: ‘Do I love it? Do I use it? Or do I need it?’ If the answer is no to all three, consider letting the item go to reduce clutter.

4. Implement the One-Minute Rule

If a task can be done in less than a minute, do it immediately without delay. This simple practice, like hanging up a coat or filing a document, prevents small items from accumulating and significantly tidies your environment over time.

5. Utilize the Three Strikes You’re Out Rule

If you’ve considered getting rid of an item three separate times, it’s time to let it go. This rule helps overcome the ’endowment effect’ where we overvalue things we own, making it easier to part with items you’re debating.

6. Engage in Speed Round Decluttering

For daunting decluttering projects, dedicate short, focused bursts of time, such as 10 minutes a day, especially with a partner who can help make quick decisions. Consistent small efforts can lead to significant transformation over time.

7. Designate Individual ‘Room of Own’ Space

To reduce conflict in shared living spaces, ensure each person has a dedicated area, like a desk or corner, where they can arrange their belongings as they wish without interference. This allows for personal preferences while encouraging tidiness in public areas.

8. Identify and Clear Clutter Magnets

Be vigilant about areas in your home where clutter naturally accumulates, such as a specific kitchen counter spot. Consistently clearing these ‘clutter magnets’ daily can prevent larger messes and stop accumulation.

9. Create a ‘Bowl of Requirement’ for Travel

When traveling with family or even alone, designate a specific bowl or tray for essential items that are easily misplaced, such as sunglasses, keys, or wallets. This centralizes important items and prevents them from getting lost when usual habits are disrupted.

10. Understand Your Buyer Tendencies

Recognize if you are an ‘overbuyer’ (buying too much, stocking up excessively) or an ‘underbuyer’ (reluctant to buy, procrastinating purchases). This self-knowledge allows you to counteract your natural tendencies, either by waiting to buy until needed or by pushing yourself to acquire necessary items proactively.

11. Use ‘Store It at the Store’ Shopping Hack

To resist impulse purchases, remind yourself that you can always ‘store it at the store’ by leaving the item where it is. You know it’s available if you truly need it later, reducing unnecessary acquisitions.

12. Eliminate Online Shopping Accounts

To curb impulse online purchases, delete saved payment and shipping information from e-commerce sites. The added friction of re-entering details for every purchase can deter late-night or unnecessary buys.

13. Avoid Baskets/Carts in Stores

When shopping in physical stores, try to avoid taking a basket or cart if possible. The inconvenience of carrying items makes you more likely to reconsider impulse purchases and only buy what you truly need.

14. Close Down Kitchen to Prevent Overeating

At the end of the day, put all food away, close containers tightly, wipe counters, and turn off the kitchen lights. This creates a clear boundary, signaling that eating time is over and reducing the likelihood of mindless grazing.

15. Brush Teeth to Signal End of Eating

Brush and floss your teeth after dinner to signal to your body and mind that eating time is complete. This creates a physical and psychological barrier, making you less likely to seek out additional snacks.

16. Practice ‘Out of Sight, Out of Mind’ for Food

Keep tempting foods out of sight, ideally in closed containers or high shelves. If you don’t see it, you’re less likely to think about it and be tempted to eat it, reducing constant internal friction.

17. Know Your Habit Type: Abstainer or Moderator

Understand if you are an ‘abstainer’ (it’s easier to give things up entirely) or a ‘moderator’ (you do better with a little bit sometimes). Tailor your approach to habits, especially with food, based on whether complete abstinence or moderation works best for you.

18. Implement a 10-Minute Desk Closer Routine

Dedicate 10 minutes at the end of each work session to tidy your desk, put away pens and documents, and update your to-do list. This creates a pleasant and focused environment for re-entry and enhances productivity.

19. Manage Information Overload

To combat mental clutter and anxiety from constant news and digital input, set boundaries for information consumption. This could involve limiting news intake to specific times or designating device-free periods throughout your day.

20. Get Involved to Channel Distress

When feeling overwhelmed by societal issues, channel that energy and anxiety into constructive action, such as voter registration or political campaigns. This allows you to feel part of a solution and redeem distressing situations.

21. Donate or Recycle Unwanted Items

Instead of simply throwing things out, find ways to donate or recycle items you no longer need, use, or love. This allows possessions to serve a new purpose and helps ease the emotional difficulty of letting them go.

22. Find Specific Organizations for Donations

Seek out specific organizations that can benefit from the types of items you’re decluttering, such as women’s shelters for toys or book drives for libraries. Having designated recipients makes the donation process more efficient and satisfying.

23. Acknowledge ‘Seasons of Stuff’

Recognize that there are different ‘seasons’ in life, particularly with children, where accumulating more stuff is natural. This mindset helps manage expectations and reduces self-blame during periods of increased clutter.

24. Involve Kids in Donating Toys

Encourage children to participate in decluttering their toys by explaining that other kids who don’t have as many toys will benefit. This teaches empathy and often makes them more willing to part with items.

25. Consider a ‘Chief Clutter Officer’

In shared workspaces, designate a ‘chief clutter officer’ with the authority to identify and address communal clutter. This prevents items from accumulating indefinitely because no one feels responsible for them.

26. Embrace Flexibility in Decluttering

Instead of adhering to a single, rigid decluttering method, explore various techniques and choose what resonates with you. A flexible approach allows you to pick and choose strategies that best fit your personality and lifestyle.

27. Don’t Push Too Hard in Meditation

When meditating, avoid the urge to ‘win’ or push too hard to achieve specific results. Instead, cultivate an attitude of dropping expectations and desire, which paradoxically allows the practice to deepen and unfold more naturally.

28. Allow Difficult Emotions in Meditation

During meditation, when difficult emotions arise, rather than fighting or analyzing them, simply acknowledge and allow them to be present. Observing their impermanence without judgment can be incredibly powerful and prevent them from consuming you.

29. Integrate Pets into Meditation Practice

If pets are present during meditation, consider switching to an open awareness or ’noting’ practice where you acknowledge whatever arises, including the sounds or sensations of your pet. This allows you to adapt your practice rather than constantly fighting distractions.

30. Use White Noise for Pet Distractions

If pets are too disruptive during meditation and need to be in another room, play white noise on your phone near the door. This can help drown out their sounds and allow you to maintain focus.

31. Meditation is Accessible to All

Understand that you can be a ‘bona fide meditator’ by practicing just 5-10 minutes most days, or even a few minutes some days, with an aspiration for a daily practice. Going on a retreat is not a prerequisite for accessing meditation’s benefits.

32. Consider Retreats for Deep Practice

Meditation retreats can be a powerful way to deeply ingrain the practice into your being, offering an immersive experience that can significantly advance your mindfulness journey.

33. Pack Comfortably for Retreats

When attending a meditation retreat, pack plenty of comfortable clothing like sweatpants and sweatshirts, as you’ll be sitting for extended periods and comfort is key to focus.

34. Practice Mindful Eating on Retreats

During retreats, embrace the practice of eating silently and mindfully, truly tasting your food and putting your fork down between bites. This helps break autopilot habits and fosters a deeper connection to the present moment.

35. Retreat Centers Are Equipped for Anxiety

If you experience anxiety or panic attacks during a meditation retreat, rest assured that centers have systems in place, such as staff support or emergency contact methods, to provide assistance with expertise and compassion.