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Gretchen Rubin on: How To Use Your Five Senses To Reduce Anxiety, Increase Creativity, and Improve Your Relationships

Apr 17, 2023 1h 7m 37 insights
<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p>Today's guest is a happiness expert and devout non-meditator. In her latest book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Life-Five-Senses-Exploring-World/dp/0593442741" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Life in Five Senses: How Exploring the Senses Got Me Out of My Head and Into the World</em></a>, she describes how a routine visit to her eye doctor made her realize she'd been overlooking a key element of happiness: her five senses. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Gretchen Rubin is the author of many books, including the New York Times bestsellers <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Outer-Order-Inner-Calm-Declutter/dp/1984822802" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Outer Order, Inner Calm</em></a>; <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Four-Tendencies-Indispensable-Personality-Profiles/dp/1524760919" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>The Four Tendencies</em></a>; <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Better-Than-Before-Habits-Procrastinate/dp/0385348630" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Better Than Before</em></a>; and <a href="https://www.google.com/aclk?sa=l&amp;ai=DChcSEwimua-Z4pX-AhWh9uMHHaX8A_0YABAAGgJ5bQ&amp;ase=2&amp;sig=AOD64_3tRWm_Pc_oLCJqDDSKq6b6_H-1tg&amp;q&amp;nis=4&amp;adurl&amp;ved=2ahUKEwiPv6aZ4pX-AhUFMVkFHQUPDVgQ0Qx6BAgGEAM" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>The Happiness Project</em></a>. Her books have sold more than 3.5 million copies worldwide, and have been translated in more than thirty languages. She also hosts the top-ranking, award-winning podcast <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/happier-with-gretchen-rubin/id969519520" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Happier with Gretchen Rubin</a>. </p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about:</strong></p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>What led Gretchen to explore the five senses</li> <li>How we often take our senses for granted</li> <li>How our senses work with the brain to impact our perception </li> <li>The relationship between the senses and nostalgia </li> <li>The surprising power of ketchup and vanilla when it comes to the sense of taste</li> <li>The sense of hearing and what she calls her "Audio Apothecary" </li> <li>How to be a better listener</li> <li>The interplay between the senses of taste and smell</li> <li>The sense of touch and the use of comfort objects   </li> <li>Why she decided to visit The Metropolitan Museum of Art everyday to explore the five senses</li> <li>And how she uses the five senses to boost creativity  </li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/gretchen-rubin-588" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/gretchen-rubin-588</a></p>
Actionable Insights

1. Engage Five Senses Intensely

Realize when you’re ‘checked out’ or ‘absent-minded’ and actively engage with your five senses to experience life more vividly and address a feeling that ‘something was missing’.

2. Practice Reflective Listening

When someone speaks, repeat back the core of what they said in your own words to demonstrate understanding, allowing them to feel heard and giving them a chance to correct you if you misunderstood.

3. Stay Present in Painful Conversations

When faced with a painful or difficult conversation, resist the urge to steer it to ‘safer territory’; instead, allow yourself to be uncomfortable, stay silent if you don’t know what to say, and remain present with the conversation.

4. Validate Others’ Feelings

Instead of immediately offering solutions or positive reframes, acknowledge and validate the reality of another person’s feelings, even if they are negative, to show understanding and comfort.

5. Offer Presence, Not Solutions

When someone shares a problem, resist the impulse to ‘fix’ it; instead, offer your presence and support, telling them you ‘can sit in the dark with them,’ as people often want understanding more than solutions.

6. Shake Up Over-Discipline

If you find yourself overly disciplined or rigid, missing out on sensory experiences due to deep thought or focus, consciously ‘shake things up’ and ‘get off the path’ to re-engage with the world.

7. Practice Daily Visits to Inspiring Places

Regularly visit a local inspiring place (e.g., museum, public garden, cemetery) to observe how the experience changes with repetition, fostering a sense of openness and leaving daily cares behind.

8. Cultivate Healthy Sensory Treats

To tune into your five senses and boost happiness, identify and create rituals around ‘healthy treats’ (e.g., listening to new music) that engage your senses positively, instead of unhealthy indulgences.

9. Curate Mood-Boosting Music Playlists

Create an ‘audio apothecary’ by making playlists of happy, upbeat, high-energy songs, categorized by mood, to use as a quick lift or to counter-program a melancholy mood.

10. Develop a Personal Listening Manifesto

To improve your listening skills, create a personal manifesto or set of ’true rules’ that you review daily, reminding you of specific actions like giving full attention and not interrupting.

11. Practice Fully Attentive Listening

When someone is ready to talk, give them your full, undivided attention by putting away distractions (phone, book), turning your body towards them, and actively listening without interrupting.

12. Withhold Unsolicited Advice

When someone is sharing a vulnerable or big conversation, resist the urge to immediately offer solutions or reading lists; instead, just listen quietly and allow them to speak without interruption.

13. Ask Permission for Advice

When you have advice or resources to offer, ask if the person is interested first, rather than immediately providing it; this respects their space and ensures they are receptive to your suggestions.

14. Embrace Corrections in Reflective Listening

Don’t fear getting reflective listening wrong; if you misinterpret, people appreciate the opportunity to correct you, which leads to better understanding and validates their feelings.

15. Make Reflective Listening Authentic

Practice reflective listening to genuinely hear others, but strive for authenticity by avoiding overly programmed phrases; get creative in how you reflect back to ensure people feel truly heard, not ’techniqued’.

16. Accommodate Sensory Processing Differences

Be mindful that everyone experiences the sensory world differently; adjust environments (e.g., avoid perfume in public, use tagless clothing) to ensure comfort and allow everyone to thrive.

17. Adjust Habits for Others’ Comfort

Be aware of how your personal sensory habits, like wearing perfume, might affect others and adjust them (e.g., wear perfume only at home) to create a more comfortable environment for everyone.

18. Mind Others’ Sensory Quirks

If you know someone has a strong aversion to a particular sound or sensation (e.g., chewing), try to be mindful and adjust your behavior in daily life to accommodate them.

19. Consciously Notice Filtered Sounds

Be aware that your brain filters out common background noises (like city sirens); consciously pay attention to these sounds to bring them to your awareness and experience more of your environment.

To intentionally evoke past memories, try associating a specific scent (like a perfume) with a particular period or experience in your life, similar to Andy Warhol’s practice.

21. Create a Taste Timeline

To deliberately provoke memories and connect with your past, create a ’taste timeline’ by recalling favorite or distinctive foods and drinks from different eras of your life.

22. Re-evaluate Everyday Tastes

Take time to consciously experience and appreciate the complexity of common, often-dismissed tastes like ketchup, as they can offer surprising depth and sophistication.

23. Experiment to Understand Flavor

To understand the interplay between taste and smell, try plugging your nose while eating something (like a jelly bean) to isolate taste, then unplug to experience the full flavor.

24. Use Comfort Objects for Anxiety

When feeling stressed or uneasy, especially in performance-related situations, hold a comfort object or prop (like a pen or a mug) to help ground and calm yourself.

25. Deliberately Use Comfort Objects

Identify objects that subconsciously bring you comfort (e.g., holding a pen) and then deliberately use them in situations where you anticipate feeling uneasy or uncomfortable to help you stay calm.

26. Use Touch to De-escalate Conflict

In moments of conflict or frustration, use appropriate physical touch (e.g., holding a hand, hugging) to foster tenderness, connection, and de-escalate tension before continuing the conversation.

27. Initiate Conversations Directly

When in a social situation where you know no one, approach a group and directly state, ‘I know no one at this party. Can I join your conversation?’ as a simple and effective way to connect.

28. Use Shared Sensory Conversation Starters

To initiate conversations, especially with strangers, comment on a shared sensory experience (e.g., food, art, weather) as it provides a common ground for discussion.

29. Create Assignments for Inspiring Visits

When visiting an inspiring place like a museum, give yourself ‘funny little assignments’ (e.g., find objects related to a book you’re reading, or historical figures) to deepen engagement and exploration.

30. Practice Noticing Overlooked Details

Make a conscious effort to ’look for what’s overlooked’ in your daily life and with people you know well, as the ordinary can be easy to ignore, but noticing it can deepen engagement and appreciation.

31. Tune Into Senses: Celebrate or Lean

To tune into your senses, either celebrate your most appreciated senses by actively engaging with them, or lean into a neglected sense (e.g., taste if you’re not a foodie) to discover new enjoyment and appreciation.

32. Learn to Amplify Sensory Appreciation

To deepen your appreciation for a sense, actively learn about it (e.g., take a tasting class, study flavor); ’the more you know, the more you notice,’ which amplifies enjoyment.

33. Control Digital Sensory Environment

Take control of your digital sensory environment by turning off notifications or changing your phone to grayscale to reduce distraction and make it less appealing, thereby supporting your focus.

34. Use Devices for Positive Sensory Input

Co-opt your devices to your advantage by using them for positive sensory input, such as setting a picture of a loved one on your home screen to provide a visual lift and reminder of relationships.

35. Spark Creativity with Physical Materials

To spark creativity, immerse yourself in environments rich with physical materials (e.g., hardware store, craft store, farmer’s market); having supplies and things to touch can unlock new ideas.

36. Build a ‘Muse Machine’

Create a ‘muse machine’ (e.g., a Rolodex) filled with short creative prompts or ideas; when you need inspiration, pick one at random to generate new ideas and solve problems.

37. Playfully Engage Your Senses

Instead of a disciplined, focused approach like traditional meditation, try a more playful, loose, and unstructured way to engage your senses, like ‘splashing in the baby pool of senses,’ to make it fun and less about discipline.