Instead of living by strict non-negotiables, try to wake up each day and hourly check in with your internal state (e.g., hunger, tiredness, sadness, energy) to guide your actions. This helps you listen to your body and desires rather than external rules.
To truly understand how you feel and what you want, consider taking a significant break from your usual routines and external pressures, such as stopping travel or speaking engagements. This allows you to create space for self-reflection and re-engagement with your inner world.
Recognize and trust that your body possesses inherent wisdom, much like an acorn contains the blueprint for an oak tree. This means listening to its signals (e.g., tiredness, hunger) and allowing it to express its needs, rather than relying solely on external rules or controls.
Extend the concept of intuitive eating to an ‘intuitive life,’ meaning you try to intuitively sleep, speak, and only engage in professional activities that genuinely make you feel happy, light, and curious. This involves listening to your inner wisdom across various domains.
To foster embodiment, consciously change your language from ‘I have a body’ to ‘I am a body.’ This shift helps to integrate your physical self as an intrinsic part of who you are, rather than an accessory to be controlled or perfected.
If you are working on embodiment and find that constantly projecting an image of yourself on social media hinders this process, consider temporarily or permanently disengaging from it. For some, this separation is necessary to prevent self-objectification and stay present.
Critically examine ‘hustle culture’ and its emphasis on constant discipline, productivity, and external achievements. Recognize that this culture often requires you to ignore your bodily needs and true desires, potentially leading you down the ‘wrong ladder’ of happiness.
Employ the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model to view yourself as a community of internal ‘parts,’ with a wise, calm ‘Self’ at the head of the table. Listen to all your parts, understanding they mean well, and allow the ‘Self’ to make the best decisions for your overall well-being.
Instead of constantly trying to define or ‘figure out who you are,’ practice letting go of that quest. This can lead to a terrifying but ultimately liberating relief, allowing you to simply live life rather than trying to solidify a fixed self.
Incorporate a daily walk into your routine, as this practice can create space for previously ignored feelings, memories, and unresolved family-of-origin issues to rise to the surface. This allows for deeper processing and healing beyond just stopping problematic behaviors.
Purge your wardrobe of clothes that are too tight or serve as an external ‘police force,’ giving you negative feedback about your body. Replace them with comfortable items that allow for natural bodily changes, fostering self-acceptance and liberation.
Actively seek out and appreciate external beauty, such as nature or music, as a way to ‘stand outside of yourself’ and prevent excessive inward obsession. This can provide a healthy sense of smallness and relief from constant self-focus.
When making purchases, choose items because you genuinely like looking at them or using them, rather than considering what others will think about you for having them. This practice helps you become the ‘subject’ of your own life, not an object being looked at.
Strive to avoid ‘parental fragility’ by being open to hearing feedback from your children about things you could have done differently, without feeling it invalidates your parenting. This fosters growth and deeper connection in relationships.
Engage in open reflection about past mistakes and different consciousness, holding them alongside the good aspects of your actions. This practice, especially with family, is crucial for personal growth and strengthening relationships.
When processing past hurts or trauma, permit yourself to initially feel and express anger or even ‘vilify’ those involved, allowing that part of yourself to be heard. This emotional release can be a necessary step before you can widen your perspective and achieve understanding.
After allowing yourself to process initial anger, strive to view past generations’ actions within the context of their lineage and the challenges they faced. This perspective can lead to understanding and forgiveness, recognizing that each generation moves the ‘ball 10 yards down the field.’
If you’ve lost the ability to trust your internal signals (e.g., due to an eating disorder), it may be necessary to temporarily implement strict external rules, like eating three meals a day, to regain a baseline of sanity and presence in your body.
Consistently stop and evaluate what activities or situations genuinely make you feel good, bring you joy, or conversely, cause dread. This practice helps you avoid blindly pursuing external definitions of happiness and align with your true desires.
To find deeper contentment and happiness, be willing to accept a decrease in external relevance or public visibility. This shift allows you to prioritize internal well-being over external validation.
Be mindful of the tendency to view every personal experience as potential ‘content’ for public consumption, as this can lead to ‘intrapersonal violence’ and prevent genuine enjoyment of the moment. Allow some experiences to remain private and for yourself.
When viewing social media, recognize that many images represent an interruption of a moment rather than the moment itself, as people often pause to capture and post. This reframing can help you critically assess the perceived reality of online content.
Cultivate a mindset of continuous seeking for answers and truth, rather than settling on definitive ‘findings.’ For some, believing they have found the answer can lead to rigidity or susceptibility to external influences.
When working on personal growth, if you can clearly identify a behavior that is currently unhealthy for you, it may be necessary to temporarily eliminate it entirely. This creates space for healing and developing healthier patterns.
Become aware of the sensation of ’leaving your body’ or detaching from the present moment to observe yourself, such as when preparing to take a picture. Recognizing this feeling of disembodiment can help you choose to stay present.
If you are pursuing a certain path or goal, observe the well-being of those who have reached its ‘pinnacle.’ If they appear miserable, it may indicate you are climbing the ‘wrong ladder’ and should re-evaluate your direction.
If you are a writer, consider waiting to create new significant works until you feel you have become a ‘whole other person’ and are so compelled that you ‘can’t not’ write. This ensures the work comes from a place of genuine transformation and new insight.
Be willing to openly discuss and process generational trauma and difficult family histories, recognizing this as a valuable contribution to your lineage. This honesty can prevent the perpetuation of unaddressed issues and foster healing for future generations.
Recognize that the process of personal growth may involve first establishing a sense of ‘somebody’ (a self, an identity) before one can truly experience the liberation of ’nobody’ (no solid, fixed self). This understanding can make the journey less terrifying.
Consider how understanding the impermanence and non-self aspects often associated with death can make the experience of life itself less terrifying. By integrating these lessons now, you can approach life with greater peace.