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Getting Over Yourself | Joseph Goldstein

Jul 14, 2021 1h 14m 16 insights
For the uninitiated, Joseph Goldstein is one of the cofounders of the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) alongside Sharon Salzberg and Jack Kornfield. Since its founding, thousands of people from around the world have come to IMS to learn mindfulness from leaders in the field.  In this episode Joseph covers strategies for getting over yourself. Every year, Joseph does a three-month retreat by himself at his home in Massachusetts. This year, he emerged with a bunch of thoughts on what's called "the three proliferating tendencies," or three "prapancas," to use the ancient Pali term.  These are three ways in which we perpetuate a sense of self -- not a healthy sense of self, but an unhealthy sense of self. You can think about the process of going deeper in meditation as a process of lightening up or getting less self-centered. Now, you're about to get a master class in doing just that.  Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/joseph-goldstein-364
Actionable Insights

1. Recognize Proliferating Tendencies

Become aware of, distinguish, and learn how to free yourself from the three proliferating tendencies (Papancha) to gain more wisdom in relating to them when they arise, which helps reduce suffering.

2. Adopt “Not Mine, Not I” View

Cultivate the perspective that “This is not mine, this I am not, this is not myself” for all experiences, aligning with perfect wisdom to reduce suffering and attachment.

3. Cease Grasping at Self

Recognize that the substantial sense of self is a mental creation that does not truly exist, and cease grasping and cherishing it to free yourself from suffering.

4. Practice Passive Voice Awareness

For 5-10 minutes, practice using the passive voice in your internal descriptions (e.g., “a sound is being heard” instead of “I am hearing”) by asking “What’s being known?” to remove the “I,” reduce over-efforting, and highlight the effortless, impermanent nature of experience.

5. Meditate on Physical Elements

For 5-10 minutes during walking or other activities, mentally label physical sensations as basic elements (e.g., “air element” for movement, “earth element” for hardness) to dissolve the sense of “mine” and experience sensations as non-personal, freeing elements.

6. Focus on Disappearing Experiences

For a short period during a walk or other activity, intentionally focus on the “disappearing edge” of each experience, mentally noting “gone, gone, gone” as sensations or thoughts vanish, which prevents clinging and fosters a liberating free flow of experience.

7. Learn Skillful Actions

Study and understand the types of actions that lead to suffering versus those that foster peace, using this knowledge as a blueprint for living effectively and happily without relying on a rigid sense of “I am-ness.”

8. Plant Seeds of Peace

Recognize that actions rooted in greed or hatred will lead to suffering, and instead, pay attention to the causes of your actions to plant seeds that will result in greater peace and happiness.

9. Distinguish Conventional vs. Ultimate Truth

Use conventional language like “I” or “self” for practical communication, but understand that these are mere designations and not ultimate realities, to avoid being “seduced” into believing in a substantial, fixed self.

10. Recognize Conceit to Release Suffering

When caught in self-judgment or suffering stemming from “I-am-ing” (conceit), simply recognizing this mindset as conceit can immediately cause the entire mental fabrication to release, freeing you from suffering.

11. Delight in Seeing Defilements

Instead of discouragement, cultivate delight when you observe defilements like conceit or “I am-ing” in your mind, understanding that clear seeing is enlightening and prevents these patterns from running riot in your life, leading to greater freedom.

12. Use “I Am” Conventionally

Use “I am” language for conventional communication, but consciously understand it as a mere designation for a process, not a substantial reality, to avoid being limited by the concept of a fixed self.

13. Release “Mine” Delusion

Understand that claiming things as “mine” (e.g., “my leg,” “my body”) is a delusion that leads to suffering when those things inevitably age, get sick, or die; instead, see them as non-personal aspects of nature.

14. Observe “I Am” Comparisons

Pay attention to the “I am” sense, particularly when comparing yourself to others (better, worse, or equal) or when reflecting on your identity across past, present, and future, as this is a form of conceit that causes contraction and suffering.

15. Curb Mental Imperialism

To reduce suffering caused by the mind’s proliferating tendencies (Papancha), consciously stop being “imperialists in your own mind” by not colonizing the future with negative interpretations of present data points.

16. Embrace No Ground Equanimity

When meditating, if you experience a challenging phase of feeling “no security” or “nothing to hold on to” due to the rapid disappearance of phenomena, persist through it to realize there is “no ground,” leading to profound equanimity and peace.