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Get Happier Without Losing Your Edge | Kamala Masters

Apr 20, 2022 58m 35s 18 insights
<p>Can you become happier, more balanced, and practice equanimity without losing your edge? </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Guest Kamala Masters was one of the teachers at Dan's first ever meditation retreat. In this episode she dives into how to develop equanimity and shares her story of learning how to practice meditation during her everyday life while raising three children on her own. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Kamala Masters has been meditating since the 1970s, first with Anagarika Munindra, who was Joseph Goldstein's first teacher, and then with the Burmese master Sayadaw U Pandita with whom she twice temporarily ordained as a Buddhist nun. More recently, she's been training with another Burmese master we've talked about here on the show, Sayadaw U Tejaniya. She is a Guiding Teacher at the Insight Meditation Society, and the co-founder of the Vipassana Metta Foundation, which developed the Maui Dharma Sanctuary.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this conversation we talk about: </p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>What is equanimity?</li> <li>The most common misconception about equanimity</li> <li>The near and far enemies of equanimity </li> <li>The power and limitations of setting intentions</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kamala-masters-442" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kamala-masters-442</a></p>
Actionable Insights

1. Integrate Mindfulness Daily

Integrate mindfulness into daily life by practicing during chores like washing dishes (noticing sensations and thoughts) and during routine movements like walking down a hallway, which builds continuity for formal meditation.

2. Take Responsibility for Mind

Take primary responsibility for your own mind, as this is where your greatest potential for change lies; discern what is beneficial to nurture and what is not beneficial to refrain from.

3. Cultivate Spacious Mind

Develop a spacious mind that can encompass all experiences without reacting with aversion or attachment, and use mindfulness to simply observe any reactivity that arises, allowing it to pass.

4. Practice Mindfulness & Sila

Develop equanimity by practicing mindfulness to identify unwholesome mind states and refraining from acting on them, simultaneously nurturing qualities of non-harming and goodwill (sila) in your daily life.

5. Set Intentions, Self-Reminders

Before challenging interactions, prepare your mind by setting intentions like “May I use clear, beneficial, and useful words,” and during the interaction, use short self-reminders such as “Stay stable, spacious, clear,” forgiving yourself if you falter.

6. Balance Intention and Impact

Recognize that both your intentions and the impact of your actions matter; if your words or deeds inadvertently cause harm, acknowledge the impact and sincerely apologize, rather than using intention as an excuse.

7. Discerning Action, Not Passivity

Equanimity is not passivity; it creates space for discerning what action is truly helpful, whether it’s remaining silent or speaking up forcefully to prevent harm, always prioritizing wise and compassionate responses.

8. Formal Equanimity Practice

Begin formal equanimity practice by cultivating metta, then focus on a neutral person, using wisdom-oriented phrases such as “Pleasure and pain arise and pass away; this is how it is,” “Birth and death are part of life,” or “All beings have their own journey” to deepen understanding and acceptance.

9. Harness Intention’s Power

Regularly set intentions, even small ones like “May I be helpful today” or “May I be kind and calm,” as these powerful intentions influence your mind stream, making desired qualities more accessible in your behavior.

10. Metta for Difficult People

When practicing metta for a difficult person, begin by sending loving-kindness to yourself or an easy person first, and if focusing on the difficult individual, visualize them surrounded by people you care for.

11. Daily Equanimity Phrases

In moments of reactivity, offer equanimity to yourself using phrases such as “May I open to things as they are” or “May I open to this situation with balance,” and internally ask, “May I know what to say or when to be quiet?”

12. Stay Calm to Help Others

Cultivate equanimity to maintain a balanced mind when others are suffering or distressed, allowing you to remain calm and effectively provide support and assistance.

13. Cultivate Pure Mind

Strive to lessen hatred, greed, and delusion to cultivate a purity of mind, which makes your words and actions powerful and capable of having a great positive impact on your surroundings.

14. Understand Inward Karma

Recognize that your intentions, words, and actions create an inward “karmic stream” that directly impacts your own heart and mind, shaping your internal feelings and experiences.

15. Avoid Passivity & Attachment

Actively avoid the “far enemies” of attachment and aversion, and guard against the “near enemy” of passivity or numbness, instead cultivating responsive, wisdom-guided engagement with life.

16. Create Space for Wisdom

When you observe unwholesome states of mind without reactivity and understand their transient nature, you create mental space for wise and compassionate responses to arise.

17. Learn from Mistakes

Recognize that making mistakes is a natural part of being human and a continuous learning process; with consistent practice, you will improve your ability to discern and refrain from harmful actions.

18. Remember We’re Human

Cultivate self-compassion by reminding yourself and others, “We’re all just human,” to acknowledge imperfections and foster understanding within the human experience.