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From The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos | Being Here Now with Tony Hale

Jan 16, 2023 37m 22s 18 insights
<p>We're sharing a preview of another podcast we love, The Happiness Lab. On The Happiness Lab, Dr. Laurie Santos explores all the ways we get our happiness wrong and what we can to do really feel better. She walks through the latest evidence-based strategies for improving your mental health, sharing practical advice on what will really bring more joy. In her latest New Year season of The Happiness Lab, Laurie tackles how to listen to the inner voice of what we really need in the new year. We're often looking into the future... hunting for the "next big thing." We can get so fixated with these events and the happiness we hope they'll deliver, that we forget to look for joy right now.</p> <p>Actor and author Tony Hale (<em>Veep, The Mysterious Benedict Society, Arrested Development</em>) joins Laurie to discuss how he was always chasing new accomplishments, until he realized he was missing the chance to be happy living in the moment.</p> <p>You can hear more from The Happiness Lab at https://podcasts.pushkin.fm/thls6?sid=tph/.</p>
Actionable Insights

1. Listen to Inner Compass

Instead of being swayed by external pressures and cultural voices, focus on introspection and pay attention to your wise inner voice to find what truly makes you happy.

2. Prioritize Presence

Recognize the importance of being present in your daily life to avoid checking out or disassociating from your experiences, especially during significant moments like raising a child.

3. Practice Self-Compassion

When feeling negative emotions or wanting to ‘check out,’ extend the same compassion to yourself that you would to a loved one, acknowledging your feelings rather than judging them.

4. Show Compassion to Anxious Voice

When your anxious voice appears, acknowledge it with compassion, recognizing its protective intent, and gently reassure it that you will proceed, which helps dissipate its power.

5. Observe Thoughts Objectively

Close your eyes for 10 minutes daily and practice observing your thoughts by labeling them (e.g., ‘image’ for pictures, ‘words’ for conversations) to gain a sense of control and distance from them.

6. Employ Five Senses Technique

To ground yourself and interrupt anxious ‘what if’ thinking, identify five things you see, four things you hear, three things you smell, two things you taste, and one thing you touch.

7. Use ‘Not Now’ Technique

When ‘what if’ thoughts or future anxieties arise, consciously tell yourself ’not now’ to defer those thoughts and redirect your focus to the present moment.

8. Act Despite Fear

When facing fear or anxiety, adopt the mantra ‘just do it afraid’ and continue moving forward, rather than waiting to feel completely peaceful or strong.

9. Divert Attention from Anxiety

When a panic attack or intense anxiety is building, divert your attention by engaging with your surroundings or asking questions to others, shifting focus away from your internal fear.

10. Surrender to Anxious Feelings

Instead of fighting intense anxious feelings, surrender to them by acknowledging their presence and reminding yourself that the feeling will eventually pass.

11. Engage in Focused Craft

Find a focused, hands-on activity like rope bowl making (or a similar craft) that acts as a form of active meditation, diverting attention and grounding you in the present.

12. Value the Ordinary

Shift your focus from seeking satisfaction only in ‘big highs’ or future accomplishments, and instead find joy and contentment in everyday, ordinary moments.

13. Maintain Self-Worth

Understand that your inherent value does not change with external success or achievements; avoid tying your self-worth to what you gain or accomplish.

14. Recognize ‘Never Enough’ Cycle

Understand that constantly seeking ’the next thing’ for happiness is like consuming sugar – it provides temporary satisfaction but ultimately leaves you wanting more, never truly fulfilling.

15. Embrace Grace & Compassion

Instead of filling your ‘shame closet’ with self-criticism, actively choose to fill your life with grace and compassion towards yourself.

16. Exercise Thought Choice

Realize that you have a choice in how you engage with your thoughts; you can choose to shift your focus back to the present moment even if it feels difficult.

17. ‘Just Be’ in Present

Commit to stopping the obsession with ‘big-ticket changes’ and future goals, and instead focus on simply ‘being’ in the present moment.

18. Bedtime Stories Ritual

Establish a ritual of reading bedtime stories, even children’s books, with a loved one to unwind and connect.