Engage in the mindful self-compassion break by first acknowledging your suffering, then recognizing your common humanity with others, and finally speaking to yourself as you would a good friend. This practice is described as life-changing and incredibly impactful.
Practice the four interrelated Brahma Viharas meditation styles, which were designed as an antidote to anxiety, to take it easier on yourself and more skillfully navigate the world.
When regret arises, consider if it’s truly a regret requiring action or simply sadness about a situation; understanding there’s no action to take can be liberating.
View regret as a useful emotion that can help you learn, identify what is important to you (like family or personal values), and guide you on how to do things differently in the future.
When experiencing regret, define it by identifying the bad feeling, the counterfactual thought of how things could have been different, and the specific action you believe you could have changed.
Examine if your regret about a ‘path not taken’ is truly about that specific path, or if it’s a symptom of current dissatisfaction in other areas of your life, such as financial instability or career setbacks.
Clarify whether your negative emotion is regret (about your own past decision) or envy (desiring someone else’s life), as this distinction can help you understand the true root of your feelings.
If a regret stems from an ‘ought’ (something you feel you should have done), resolve it by simply doing the thing, as these types of regrets are generally easier to repair and then forget.
If your regret is rooted in not having given your best effort, focus on correcting that behavior in your current endeavors to ensure you can confidently say you gave it your all.
If you have a niche emotional conundrum, seek out a ‘proxy’ – a stranger with shared life experience or expertise – to help you investigate your feelings and get unstuck.
If you are on the fence about pursuing a highly demanding career path, consider choosing something different if you can imagine a fulfilling life outside of it, as it may indicate the path is too difficult for you.
Support social science research by contacting your elected officials to inform them about its impact, and learn more at c-o-s-s-a.org.
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If you have a niche emotional conundrum, submit your case to proxythepod@gmail.com for potential investigation and discussion on the Proxy podcast.