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From Kelly Corrigan Wonders | A Conversation with Dan Harris

Sep 15, 2023 52m 2s 18 insights
<p>Dan sits down with his friend Kelly Corrigan at the Aspen Ideas Festival. A few of the topics they break open: uncertainty, humility and practices to keep us connected. </p> <p>You can learn more at https://www.kellycorrigan.com or listen to the Kelly Corrigan Wonders podcast wherever you listen to podcasts. </p> <p>Thanks to our many friends at the Aspen Ideas Festival for making this conversation possible.</p> <p>This was recorded before the SAG-AFTRA strike.</p>
Actionable Insights

1. Embrace a Trainable Mindset

Recognize that your brain and mind are trainable, and you are not stuck with unalterable ‘factory settings’; you can actively work on all aspects of yourself, which benefits both you and others.

2. Don’t Side With Yourself

In moments of conflict, consciously choose not to immediately side with your own perspective; instead, empathetically consider why others think as they do, which can de-escalate situations and foster understanding.

3. Examine Unseen Difficulties

Avoid squelching or compartmentalizing difficult stories or traumas, as ignorance is not bliss and unexamined issues will control you from unseen crevices of your mind; instead, explore them through therapy, meditation, or discussions with trusted friends.

4. Practice Provisional Language

Pepper your speech with phrases like ‘maybe,’ ‘perhaps,’ or ‘it looks like’ to avoid speaking with too much confidence, acknowledging impermanence and thereby cultivating intellectual humility in your daily communication.

5. Cultivate Psychological Safety

For teams to function optimally, establish an environment where even the most junior members feel safe to speak up, which involves presenting as humble and genuinely interested in others’ opinions.

6. Engage in Loving Kindness Practices

Incorporate practices designed to foster warmth and love towards yourself and others, as these have significant psychological and physiological benefits and can help overcome self-critical narratives.

7. Prioritize Family & Meaningful Work

Consider re-evaluating high-stress careers to gain bandwidth for family and work that aligns with your values, as increased time with loved ones and purpose-driven activities can greatly improve well-being.

8. Seek Access to Nature

Make an effort to have constant access to nature, as scientific evidence suggests it has a significant positive and buoying effect on your psychological state.

9. Accept Help from Others

When in a difficult situation, allow others to help you, as accepting assistance provides them with an opportunity to experience a sense of attunement and realize their own humanity, giving them a better day.

10. Practice Wise Generosity

If you are in a position to afford it, practice generosity through micro-actions like tipping more or being nice to service people, as this trains your mind to be more giving, feels good, and reinforces your values.

11. Enhance Micro-Interactions

Improve the quality of your brief interactions with people, even those who are marginal figures in your life, by showing genuine interest and asking questions, as these ‘weak ties’ contribute significantly to overall happiness.

12. Stop Rushing Consciously

Make a mental note when you are rushing, recognizing that rushing shuts you down and prevents you from helping others; instead, relax and complete tasks without feeling hurried, even when facing deadlines.

13. Slow Down Email Responses

Intentionally delay responding to emails to set a more relaxed pace for communication, indicating that not everything is urgent and allowing everyone in the chain to be more present in their day.

14. Separate Behavior from Person

Adopt the mindset that there are no purely evil people, only bad behavior driven by causes and conditions; this allows for understanding and a less judgmental view of others, without excusing the behavior itself.

15. Manage Ongoing Dynamics

Recognize that some challenges in life are not problems to be solved definitively, but rather ongoing dynamics that need to be managed continuously, fostering a more sustainable approach to complex issues.

16. Embrace Your Mind’s Ridiculousness

Observe your mind for an extended period and find humor in its often-ridiculous tendencies; becoming comfortable and familiar with this perspective can prevent you from being overly owned by your thoughts.

17. Avoid Pushing Advice on Children

Be cautious about overtly pushing your values or advice on children, as they are often wired to reject it; instead, model desired behaviors and allow them to discover principles organically.

18. Use Your Platform for Good

If you have a platform or position of influence, recognize your responsibility to use it for the greater good, as giving back can improve your own life and contribute positively to society.