Channel the understanding and forgiveness you offer your children towards yourself, combating perfectionism by talking to yourself like a kind friend or a child, especially after mistakes, and recognizing the potential for repair.
Instead of lecturing children, model the behaviors and values you wish for them to adopt, as they are more likely to absorb what they see you do than what they are told.
Recognize “Proponcha” (the mind’s imperialistic tendency to project future negative consequences from present events) and use self-awareness to let go of these projections, allowing you to act on what’s actually happening now.
Understand that the goal of meditation is not to clear your mind, but to notice when your mind wanders and gently bring your focus back, as this act of noticing is the meditation itself.
Use meditation to become familiar with your inner mental landscape, observing your thoughts and inner conversations without being owned by them, which is the essence of mindfulness.
Infuse mindfulness into routine activities like doing dishes, walking, or bathroom breaks by deliberately focusing on raw physical sensations, transforming mundane moments into opportunities for present moment awareness.
When forming new habits, aim for very small increments (e.g., “one minute counts”) and allow for “daily-ish” consistency, understanding that starting small is incredibly useful and allows for restarts.
Utilize self-regulation tools to manage your emotional responses, especially when children’s behaviors trigger your own insecurities or past tendencies, to avoid overly harsh reactions.
When interpreting another person’s actions, choose the “Most Generous Interpretation” (MGI) over the “Least Generous Interpretation” (LGI) to improve interactions and relationships.
Focus on being consistent with practices like meditation or therapy, even in small doses, because consistent effort over time will compound and provide benefits when most needed.
Repeatedly focusing on one thing, getting distracted, and then refocusing during meditation acts like a “bicep curl” for your brain, rewiring parts of the frontal lobe to improve attention and present moment awareness.
Employ “mental noting” during mindfulness practices by occasionally dropping single words (e.g., “moving,” “coolness”) into your mind to gently direct attention to raw physical sensations without constant narration.
When you notice your mind has wandered during meditation, mentally say “great” to acknowledge the distraction without judgment, reinforcing that this is a normal and expected part of the practice.
Implement strategies to create distance from your phone, which can be supercharged by mindfulness practices, to combat constant stimulation and distraction.
Accept that personal growth and improvement will be a “squiggly line” – marginal, messy, and uneven over time – rather than a linear progression, and this is the natural path for everyone.
Periodically review your past work or expressions to ensure they align with your current values and sensitivities, making revisions as needed to reflect personal growth.