Understand that dealing with a stressful situation (the stressor) is different from dealing with the physical experience of stress in your body. This allows you to feel better immediately, even if the stressor persists, by completing the physiological stress response cycle.
Perform physical activity, even as simple as tensing every muscle in your body hard for a slow count of 10, then flopping and relaxing. This is the most efficient strategy to cue your body that it is safe and complete the stress response cycle.
Determine your personal sleep needs, which can range from seven to nine hours or more, and prioritize getting that amount. If you are a natural napper, embrace napping as a productive activity to support your body’s needs.
Utilize your imagination to complete stress response cycles, such as vividly imagining yourself as a powerful figure overcoming obstacles, or by engaging with stories in books, movies, or video games that provide a complete emotional journey.
Channel difficult feelings into creative outlets like writing (journaling, novels), painting, or music. This allows you to put the feelings outside your body, completing the stress response cycle without causing harm to yourself or others.
Engage in activities that involve moving in time with others for a shared purpose, such as dancing, singing, marching in a protest, or praying at a worship service. These actions create a powerful chemical shift that fosters love, community, and helps complete the stress response cycle.
Focus on deep breathing, particularly emphasizing exhalation, which engages the parasympathetic nervous system and promotes calm. This physiological action cues your body that it is safe and helps complete the stress response cycle.
If you feel the urge to cry, allow yourself to do so without judgment or ruminating on the stressor itself. Instead, observe the physical sensations of crying, letting the cycle complete naturally to release physiological stress.
Pursue genuine, loud, uncontrollable belly laughter that leaves your abdomen sore, as this physical cycle signals safety to your body and completes the stress response. If you can’t laugh, reminisce about past belly laughs or listen to others laugh.
Reflect on whether you or others are operating under “human giver syndrome,” where there’s a moral obligation to prioritize others’ needs. If you suspect this, ask those around you (multiple times, in different ways) if they feel entitled to your emotional labor, genuinely seeking ways to improve.
When recognizing you’ve done harm or fallen short of expectations, turn toward your inner critic with kindness and compassion. This creates space for learning, making amends, and growth, rather than being overwhelmed by self-criticism.
Understand that if life feels too hard, it’s often because the “game is rigged” by systemic injustices and oppression, not due to personal failure. This knowledge can alleviate despair and validate your experience, allowing you to feel better.
To combat learned helplessness, engage in any action, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, that is “not nothing.” This teaches your nervous system that you are capable of agency and accessing safety, even if it doesn’t directly solve the larger problem.
Actively create and participate in a supportive community where members genuinely care for each other’s well-being, free from external expectations. This requires bravery to initiate connection and active participation in caring for others.
View wellness not as a static state, but as the freedom to move through natural cycles, such as stress to relaxation, connection to autonomy, and rest to effort. This understanding supports a dynamic approach to self-care and well-being.
Join the free 14-day “Getting Unstuck Challenge” on the 10% Happier app before January 7th to push through whatever’s holding you back and potentially reboot your meditation practice.
Download the new “10% with Dan Harris” app and sign up for a 14-day trial to access guided meditations for stress, anxiety, sleep, focus, self-compassion, and more, along with live community sessions and ad-free podcast episodes.