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Feeling Stuck? Dull? Flat? Here's a Better Path to the "Good Life." | Shigehiro Oishi

Oct 27, 2025 1h 10m 15 insights
<p dir="ltr">An often overlooked secret, from a U. Chicago happiness expert.</p> <p dir="ltr"> </p> <p dir="ltr"><a href="https://psychology.uchicago.edu/directory/shigehiro-oishi">Shigehiro Oishi</a> is the Marshall Field IV Professor of Psychology at the University of Chicago. He is one of the foremost authorities on happiness, meaning, and culture. His newest book is <a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/740022/life-in-three-dimensions-by-shigehiro-oishi-phd/"> Life in Three Dimensions: How Curiosity, Exploration, and Experience Make a Fuller, Better Life</a>.</p> <p dir="ltr"> </p> <p dir="ltr">In this episode we talk about:</p> <ul> <li dir="ltr">How our obsession with productivity is flattening and dulling our lives</li> <li dir="ltr">The definitions of both happiness and meaning—both of which have, until now, been considered the main paths to a good life </li> <li dir="ltr">The potential downsides of pursuing happiness and meaning </li> <li dir="ltr">Shige introduces his third path to a good life—psychological richness </li> <li dir="ltr">Skills for developing psychological richness</li> <li dir="ltr">Tools for becoming more playful</li> <li dir="ltr">The difficult balance between detachment and healthy ambition </li> <li dir="ltr">How to reframe adverse experiences</li> <li dir="ltr">Re-storying tools for reframing the "hard shit" in our lives</li> <li dir="ltr">And much more<strong><br /> <br /></strong></li> </ul> <p dir="ltr">Join Dan's online community <a href="http://www.danharris.com/">here</a></p> <p dir="ltr">Follow Dan on social: <a href="https://bit.ly/3tGigG5">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://bit.ly/3FOA84J">TikTok</a></p> <p dir="ltr">Subscribe to our <a href="https://bit.ly/3FybRzD">YouTube Channel</a></p> <p><strong><br /> <br /></strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Tickets are now on sale for a special live taping of the 10% Happier Podcast with guest Pete Holmes! Join us on November 18th in NYC for this benefit show, with all proceeds supporting the New York Insight Meditation Center. Grab your tickets <a href="https://www.nyimc.org/event/great-cosmic-joke/">here</a>!</p> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Tickets are now available for an intimate live event with Dan on November 23rd as part of the Troutbeck Luminary Series. Join the conversation, participate in a guided meditation, and ask your questions during the Q&amp;A. Click <a href="https://troutbeck.com/culture/luminaries-series-conversation-meditation-with-dan-harris-2025/"> here</a> to buy your ticket!</p> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit <a href="https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris">https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris</a></p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p>Thanks to our
Actionable Insights

1. Manage Ambitions for Happiness

To increase happiness and self-esteem, consciously reduce your personal ambitions rather than solely striving to maximize success, as unchecked ambition can lead to a hedonic treadmill where growing success doesn’t increase happiness. This approach, observed in Scandinavian countries, involves taming desires and being content with current achievements.

2. Prioritize Frequent Small Joys

Boost your happiness by prioritizing the frequency of small, positive emotions over the intensity of large, infrequent ones. Engage in repeatable, sustainable activities like regular coffee with friends, family brunches, or morning walks to consistently foster joy and strengthen close interpersonal relationships.

3. Adopt Psychological Richness Mindset

Cultivate a ‘psychological richness mindset’ to reframe negative events and setbacks as opportunities for learning, gaining insight, and personal growth. When minor frustrations occur, like getting lost, view them as potential sources of interesting stories or unexpected discoveries.

4. Process Experiences for Retention

To truly accumulate psychological richness from your experiences, actively reflect on them by talking about them with others or writing them down. This deepens processing, ensures experiences remain in your ‘psychological portfolio,’ and helps you remember how they changed your perspective.

5. Reframe Adversity for Growth

Develop the ‘muscle memory’ to turn life’s inevitable adversities, humiliations, and losses into sources of empowerment. Actively seek to reframe difficult experiences by focusing on how you grew or what positive changes emerged, transforming them into empowering stories that can also help others.

6. Cultivate Self-Knowledge for Life Path

Honestly assess your core values and what you truly want in life—whether it’s comfort and happiness, contribution and meaning, or diverse experiences and richness. This self-knowledge will help you consciously decide which path to prioritize at different stages or moments in your life.

7. Nurture Openness and Agreeableness

Cultivate ‘openness to experience’ by being receptive to new kinds of experiences, ideas, information, objects, cultures, and aesthetic encounters, as this strongly correlates with psychological richness. Additionally, practice ‘agreeableness’ by saying ‘yes’ to invitations for new experiences from friends or family, even if you’re introverted.

8. Discover Richness in the Familiar

Find psychological richness without needing to travel or spend extensively by exploring the familiar. Revisit favorite books, albums, or films to discover new details, or spend dedicated time with loved ones to uncover new aspects of their interests and abilities.

9. Actively Cultivate Curiosity

Nurture your natural sense of curiosity as a skill, especially if your work is highly specialized and tends to reduce it. At home, consciously ’take off the hat’ of your professional role and embrace a childlike inquisitiveness about ideas, information, objects, and cultures.

10. Embrace Playfulness and Spontaneity

Counteract the dulling effects of an obsession with productivity by prioritizing playfulness and spontaneity, taking ‘vacations’ from social and economic responsibilities. Schedule open slots in your daily routine for unstructured activities, allow yourself to be silly like a child, and engage with kids or animals to naturally increase your playful demeanor.

11. Strategically Explore Options

When making important decisions with many options (e.g., hiring, major purchases, dating), actively counteract cognitive laziness and the tendency to under-explore. As a practical heuristic, aim to seriously consider at least 12 options before settling on a choice, or statistically, explore at least 37% of available options to increase the likelihood of an optimal decision.

12. Practice Detachment from Desires

Draw on Buddhist principles to practice detachment from excessive desires and ambitions, especially those related to material things or status. This helps manage suffering and prevents staking your entire self-worth on fleeting external achievements like promotions or social approval.

13. Find Meaning in Consistent Small Actions

Cultivate meaning in life through small, consistent actions and long-term dedication, such as regular volunteering or raising a family, rather than solely pursuing grand accomplishments. Establish and consistently follow daily routines and attend to small responsibilities to foster a sense of structure, coherence, and significance.

14. Develop Tools for Negative Emotions

Develop effective tools and strategies to manage negative emotions and cultivate resilience in the face of life’s inevitable vexations. This ability to work with difficult feelings is a crucial component of a broad and capacious understanding of happiness and well-being.

15. Be a Satisficer, Not a Maximizer

To better control ambitions and desires and increase overall happiness, strive to be a ‘satisficer’—someone who is happy and satisfied with ‘good enough’ options. This contrasts with a ‘maximizer,’ who constantly seeks the absolute best and often finds their happiness diminished by ever-growing expectations.