Approach relationships by relinquishing the idea of your own expertise, as a relationship involves at least two people and true mastery is an oxymoron in this context. This fosters an open, non-presumptive engagement.
Adopt a “beginner’s mind” or “not knowing” approach (prajna), characterized by perceptive curiosity that avoids assumptions and remains open. This applies to understanding both others and your own internal experience.
Engage in mindfulness to become increasingly transparent and authentic with yourself, which builds presence, compassion, and confidence. Avoid using practice to create a new “mask” or defense mechanism, as this is counterproductive.
In meditation, focus on “that which knows confusion” rather than the confusion itself, to gain confidence in your fundamental okayness. This Vajrayana approach (Rigpa) views awakened mind as already present.
Practice a Dzogchen meditation by closing your eyes, listening to all sounds, and then shifting your attention to “what’s hearing.” This helps to experience primordial awareness directly, rather than searching for a separate “knower.”
When introducing meditation to children, consider playful exercises like the “thought party,” where thoughts are observed as guests at a party. This helps them realize thoughts come and go, fostering a playful relationship with their mind.
Approach striving and ambition in life with a sense of joy and direct experience, viewing it as a “game” or “cosmic joke” rather than something intensely serious. This perspective can make challenges more engaging and less overwhelming.
Actively deconstruct narratives that feel solid, whether they are cultural stories or personal beliefs, to reveal underlying assumptions. This Buddhist practice helps to understand how our views shape reality.
Deepen your practice by committing to compassion, benefiting both oneself and others, and pursuing liberation from confusion through self-honesty. These commitments provide a foundation for advanced spiritual work.
The key to a successful relationship is finding and committing to a mode of communication that works for you and your partner. This requires developing trust and a willingness to engage in the process.
Embrace the non-theistic Buddhist premise that no external savior, person, or object will ultimately save you from dealing with your own heart and mind. True transformation comes from within.