← 10% Happier with Dan Harris

Emma Seppala

Jun 5, 2016 54m 37s 39 insights
Success and happiness: Can you have one without the other? Many may assume that these two things are at cross purposes but Emma Seppala, the science director of Stanford University's Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education, argues that that assumption is actually dead wrong. The Ph.D. holder and author of "The Happiness Track" sat down with Dan Harris to tackle this subject -- a central theme in Dan's own book, "10% Happier."
Actionable Insights

1. Prioritize Happiness for Success

Adopt the mindset that happiness and success are mutually supportive, and that real success requires some degree of happiness, rather than assuming they are at cross purposes.

2. Challenge Suffering for Success

Reject the misconception that suffering is a necessary indicator of working hard enough or a prerequisite for success, as this belief can lead to burnout.

3. Prioritize Energy Management

Shift your focus from solely time management to energy management, as you have more control over your energy levels throughout the day and can optimize them for sustained productivity.

4. Alternate High & Low Intensity Tasks

Distribute your daily tasks by alternating between high-intensity, concentration-heavy work and lower-intensity activities like organizing or data entry, to manage your energy, prevent burnout, and foster creativity.

5. Restore Natural Relaxation

Reconnect with your body’s natural ability to relax and restore itself, allowing for natural energy and rest, rather than constantly overstimulating yourself during the day and needing aids to sleep at night.

6. Embrace Idleness for Creativity

Cultivate creativity and breakthrough insights by allowing yourself to be idle, daydream, and let your mind wander, as the brain is most innovative in these relaxed ‘delta mode’ states.

7. Diversify Learning for Creativity

Enhance your creativity and ability to find solutions by diversifying your learning and activities, reading outside your field, and exploring different interests to see the ‘forest’ rather than just the ’trees’.

8. Integrate Silence for Insight

Schedule time for silence in your life, whether through daily meditation or longer silent retreats, to gain profound insights and detach from the constant mental chatter.

9. Work Hard, Then Rest for Insights

After intense periods of work and research, intentionally disengage and allow for rest or distraction, as this creates the space for creative insights and solutions to naturally emerge.

10. Avoid Excessive Self-Criticism

Understand that being your own toughest critic actually makes you less resilient to failure and less likely to grow from mistakes, acting as a form of self-sabotage.

11. Practice Self-Compassion

Develop self-compassion by treating yourself like a friend when you make mistakes or fail, remembering the universality of human error and observing emotions mindfully, rather than engaging in self-sabotage.

12. Three Pillars of Self-Compassion

When facing mistakes, practice self-compassion by remembering the universality of human error, mindfully observing your emotions without catastrophizing, and treating yourself with the same kindness and honesty you would a close friend.

13. Self-Compassion Includes Self-Respect

Understand that self-compassion involves maintaining self-respect and taking necessary action when others trespass against you, rather than passively allowing yourself to be taken advantage of.

14. Recognize Emotion’s Purpose

Acknowledge that all emotions, including negative ones like anguish or anger, serve a purpose in motivating you to plan, strategize, or correct situations.

15. Train for Altruism & Compassion

Actively train your mind through practices like compassion training or loving-kindness meditation, as research shows this can systematically increase your inclination toward altruism, generosity, and compassion, even in short durations.

16. Embrace Altruism for Happiness

Recognize that altruism and compassion are powerful secrets to personal happiness and well-being, offering both self-interested and other-interested benefits.

17. Act Altruistically with Genuine Intent

Ensure your altruistic actions are driven by a genuine desire to help others, as performing them with purely selfish intent may prevent you from reaping the full psychological and health benefits.

18. Cultivate Kindness for Loyalty

Be a kinder, more collegial person who goes out of their way to help others, ensuring you don’t let yourself be taken advantage of, as this generates greater loyalty and willingness from others to help you.

19. Create Positive Work Culture

As a leader, foster a positive work environment by treating your team members well, involving them in important tasks like client meetings, and empowering them with responsibility, which can lead to greater success.

20. Find Your Meditation Fit

Explore various meditation and breathing practices to discover which one genuinely suits your temperament and helps you achieve calm, rather than forcing a method that causes anxiety.

21. Establish a Consistent Daily Practice

Incorporate a consistent daily routine of calming breathing exercises (like pranayama and Sudarshan Kriya) for 20 minutes, followed by two 20-minute mantra meditations, and 12 sun salutations to settle the mind and maintain well-being.

22. Meditate for Emotional Clarity

Engage in meditation to develop greater clarity and awareness of your emotions, which can help you gain freedom from impulses and make more conscious choices.

23. Practice Informal Meditation

Incorporate informal meditation into your day by taking moments to sit, observe your surroundings (e.g., nature), and focus on your breath to cultivate inner peace.

24. Prioritize Practice Over Study

Recognize that personal growth and insight come from consistent practice and direct experience, rather than solely from intellectual understanding or academic study.

25. Self-Care Improves Parenting

Prioritize carving out time for self-care activities, such as meditation, because being a happier and calmer person yourself directly enhances your ability to be a better parent.

26. Practice Wisely Selfish Self-Care

Make conscious choices about how you use your time, ensuring activities fundamentally nurture you and put you in an optimal state of mind to be your best self for others.

27. Define Personal Success

Reflect on and personally define what success means to you, considering metrics beyond conventional ones like income, and potentially focusing on contribution to others or being your best self.

28. Accept Healthy Self-Interest

Don’t fight against your natural self-interest, as it can be a protective mechanism that allows you to be your best self and make a greater impact on others.

29. Value Calm Over Constant Intensity

Understand that maintaining a high-intensity mode continuously, even during leisure, taxes your body by registering as a stress response, so consciously value and seek out calm.

30. Approach Tasks with Calm

When tackling lower-intensity tasks such as email, consciously choose to approach them calmly rather than over-caffeinating or getting hyped, to effectively manage your energy throughout the day.

31. Avoid Chronic Stress

Recognize that chronic stress, fueled by constant adrenaline, depletes your energy, taxes your body, and leads to burnout, so avoid maintaining a high-stress response all the time.

32. Respect Your Body’s Need for Rest

Be mindful of using stimulants like caffeine to push through fatigue, as this taxes your nervous system and ignores your body’s need for rest, leading to eventual burnout.

33. Set Email Boundaries

Establish clear boundaries around checking email, acknowledging that it can activate a stress response and elicit a wide range of emotions, to protect your mental well-being.

34. Evening Email Cut-Off

Implement a rule to stop checking email at a specific time in the evening (e.g., 7 p.m.) to honor personal and family time and reduce work-related stress.

35. Limit Device Use for Presence

Actively limit the presence and use of phones and computers during family time and on weekends, even leaving them at home, to foster presence and protect precious personal moments.

36. Reduce Phone Use for Daydreaming

Consciously reduce constant phone use, especially during moments of waiting or downtime, to create opportunities for your mind to wander and engage in creative daydreaming.

37. Choose Meditation Over Social Media

Opt for nurturing practices like loving-kindness meditation over spending time on social media, which often leads to comparison and is less fulfilling.

38. Practice Loving-Kindness Meditation

Engage in loving-kindness meditation by first visualizing and feeling love coming to you from those who care for you, then extending that feeling of love outward to others.

39. Model Balanced Screen Time

Strive to model balanced screen time and technology use for your children, demonstrating moderation and presence in the external world, even as screens become an inevitable part of their lives.