Utilize a diverse set of tools for well-being, including therapy, medication, sufficient sleep, a healthy diet, regular exercise, strong relationships, and meaningful work, rather than relying on a single solution. This comprehensive strategy acknowledges that no single method is a silver bullet and different approaches can address various aspects of health.
Observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment or trying to change them, viewing the contents of your consciousness with a ‘beneficent remove’ like a grandparent watching children play. This allows something inherent in the mind’s potential to emerge naturally, similar to the attuned attention of a ‘good enough parent’.
When faced with discomfort or challenging circumstances, consciously choose to engage rather than withdraw, as Dan did during his wife’s surgery. Be aware of your instincts and emotions, but don’t let them dictate your actions, allowing you to respond in alignment with what you know is the right thing to do.
Engage in meditation or similar practices to discover and access a ’timeless place’ inside yourself, which can serve as a personal sanctuary and source of inspiration. This inner space provides a place to go when seeking solace or clarity.
When meditating, focus on simply ‘knowing’ you are breathing in and out, rather than striving for precise sensations of the breath. This relaxed approach helps settle the mind into a more concentrated place, balancing effort and no effort productively.
Observe your self-stories and ingrained beliefs about who you are as transient thoughts, rather than solid realities, to approach the Buddhist concept of ’no-self.’ This practice can lead to a sense of freedom and foster greater kindness towards yourself and others by recognizing that self-conceptions are not as solid as they feel.
Understand that the constant pursuit of external pleasures and achievements, driven by an insatiable mind, often leads to dissatisfaction rather than lasting happiness. This awareness can help shift your perspective on the pursuit of happiness itself.
When pursuing long-term spiritual aims, such as enlightenment, adopt a gentle, less aggressive approach, as this ‘softer way’ can paradoxically be more effective than forceful striving. Trying too hard can hinder progress, so backing off is a more intense and productive method.
Dedicate time each year to go on a silent meditation retreat for a week or ten days, or however much time you can give yourself. This practice helps deepen your meditation and allows for sustained focus away from daily distractions.
Utilize moments of peace, such as after children have gone to sleep, to meditate, as the household falls quiet. If children need your presence at bedtime, consider meditating quietly in their room to provide a calming influence without intruding.
Investigate Mahayana or Tibetan Buddhist philosophies that view suffering (samsara) and liberation (nirvana) not as separate states, but as two faces of the same coin. This exploration can offer illuminating and refreshing perspectives on the nature of reality and enlightenment.
For specific issues like performance anxiety in public settings, consult a doctor about appropriate medical treatments, such as beta-blockers (propranolol or inderal). These can provide highly effective and specific relief, sometimes more so than therapy or meditation alone for certain conditions.
Engage with Dr. Mark Epstein’s book, ‘Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart,’ to explore the intersection of psychology and Buddhism. This book offers insights into navigating life’s challenges and emotional experiences without collapsing.
Explore Dr. Mark Epstein’s book, ‘The Trauma of Everyday Life,’ to gain insights into how common life experiences can be understood through a lens that integrates psychological and Buddhist perspectives. This book offers a unique take on the nature of daily struggles.
Explore the book ‘On Having No Head’ to investigate the concept of experiencing the world through ‘headlessness’ or a pure, unmediated knowing. This can be a powerful meditative reflection on the nature of perception and self.