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Do You Want to Be Happier or Not? | Mushim Patricia Ikeda

Aug 3, 2022 59m 20s 13 insights
<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>Oftentimes Buddhism can take a tough love, no nonsense approach to happiness by saying, if you want to be happier, sometimes you need to face hard truths. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In today's episode we're going to talk about a Buddhist list called The Three Characteristics. These are the three non-negotiable truths about reality, which you have to see and understand in order to be happy. Granted, when looked at from a certain angle, these truths, or characteristics of reality can suck at times. But do you want to see the truth of things or not? Do you want to be happier or not?</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Our guide through these three characteristics is the mighty Mushim Patricia Ikeda. Mushim has a background in both monastic and lay Buddhist practice and is a core teacher and community director at the <a href="https://eastbaymeditation.org/about/staff/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">East Bay Meditation Center</a> in Oakland, California. This is her <a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/mushim-patricia-ikeda-344" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">second appearance on the show</a>. </p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><em>Content Warning: This episode briefly mentions child loss.</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about: </strong></p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>The three characteristics, alternatively known as the three Dharma seals</li> <li>Our conflicted relationship to change </li> <li>Our brain's tendency to focus on the negative</li> <li>Practices that can help with handling change more effectively</li> <li>How not taking your thoughts so personally can build your resilience</li> <li>And why Mushim believes that universal non-discriminating love is synonymous with Nirvana</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/mushim-patricia-ikeda-484" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/mushim-patricia-ikeda-484</a></p>
Actionable Insights

1. Transform Suffering to Happiness

Turn your attention to what you can do to transform suffering into compassion, insight, and understanding, which then brings greater happiness. This shifts focus from pain to growth and well-being.

2. Question Suffering-Causing Thoughts

Use mindfulness to catch and isolate specific thoughts causing suffering, then back off and ask for evidence to determine if the thought is actually true. This helps prevent rumination and negative spirals.

3. Don’t Take Things Personally

Avoid taking things personally unless you are 100% certain it is personal, as this helps build a resilient mindset and prevents unnecessary distress. Question the truth of your thoughts rather than immediately believing them.

4. Practice Daily Gratitude

Make it a daily practice to express gratitude by writing, calling, or emailing at least one thank you, or by simply pausing to appreciate things often taken for granted. This brings attention back to positive aspects of life.

5. Confront Deep Suffering Directly

When facing deep anxiety or suffering, engage in very deep contemplation, looking at the pain directly and working through resistance and denial. This arduous process can lead to incredible relief and happiness.

6. Contemplate Painful Future Changes

Contemplate the most painful possible changes you can imagine, asking yourself if you are okay with these possibilities, because they are real. This builds resilience to inevitable life shifts.

7. Examine Resistance to Impermanence

Regularly examine your resistance and underlying assumptions that things won’t change, especially when feeling stuck or experiencing looping, unhelpful thoughts. This helps align with the reality of impermanence.

8. Foster Nurturing Relationships

Dedicate effort to supporting processes and building tools within communities to foster nurturing relationships and take better care of each other, elders, children, and the environment. This leverages our innate potential for connection.

9. Commit to Helping Others

Commit to trying to show up every day and be of help to at least one person or living being, and if you can’t help, at least try not to harm. This positive action creates beneficial change.

10. Seek Loving Connections

Recognize that in any situation, there is potential for a loving and caring connection, even if brief, that can create a sense of home, safety, belonging, and joy for at least one living being. This fosters universal, non-discriminating love.

11. Face Hard Truths

If you want to be happier, you first need to face some hard truths about reality, rather than relying on positive thinking or death-denying dogma. This is the first step towards a well-adjusted, flourishing life.

12. Prepare for Undesirable Changes

Believe in preparation for potentially giant undesirable changes, such as having an earthquake preparation kit, to be better equipped to deal with unexpected circumstances. This provides a practical level of readiness.

13. Explore EBMC Resources

Check out the East Bay Meditation Center (EBMC) website (www.eastbaymeditation.org) and YouTube channel for accessible wisdom teachings and practices offered on a donation-only basis. This provides a resource for spiritual growth without financial barriers.