<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p>How rethinking these often twee concepts can change your life and maybe the world. </p> <p><br /></p> <p><a href="https://www.rossgay.net/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Ross Gay</a> is the author of four books of poetry: <a href="https://www.rossgay.net/against-which" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Against Which</em></a>; <a href="https://www.rossgay.net/bringing-the-shovel-down" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Bringing the Shovel Down</em></a>; <a href="https://www.rossgay.net/be-holding" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Be Holding</em></a>, winner of the PEN American Literary Jean Stein Award; and <a href="https://www.rossgay.net/catalog-of-unabashed-gratitude" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude</em></a>, winner of the 2015 National Book Critics Circle Award and the 2016 Kingsley Tufts Poetry Award. In addition to his poetry, Ross has released three collections of essays—<a href="https://www.rossgay.net/the-book-of-delights" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>The Book of Delights</em></a> was released in 2019 and was a <em>New York Times</em> bestseller; <a href="https://www.rossgay.net/inciting-joy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Inciting Joy</em></a> was released in 2022, and his newest collection, <a href="https://www.rossgay.net/the-book-of-more-delights" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>The Book of (More) Delights</em></a> was released in September of 2023.</p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about:</strong></p> <ul> <li>What got Ross interested in the subject of delight</li> <li>How noting delight can be a tool for counter programming against our negativity bias</li> <li>Why Ross argues that there is an ethical component to delight</li> <li>The benefits of writing by hand</li> <li>How both using a smartphone and rushing can be delight blockers</li> <li>The difference between delight and joy </li> <li>What he means when he refers to the "offenses of joy"</li> <li>And the connection between grief and joy </li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/ross-gay" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/ross-gay</a></p> <p><br /></p>
Actionable Insights
1. Catalog Daily Delights
Commit to writing a short essay every day for a year about one item or experience that brings you delight, as this practice helps counter negativity bias and makes you more aware of what you love.
2. Embrace Curiosity
Cultivate a ‘don’t know mind’ and curiosity about how things will unfold, rather than clinging to certainty, as this stance fosters comfort, connection, and prevents the despair that comes from perceived knowledge.
3. Cultivate Connection
Actively seek and practice connection with others and the natural world, because delight often provides ‘pleasant evidence of connection,’ which helps you feel less alone and more deeply connected.
Participate in community-oriented activities like pickup basketball, gardening, or potlucks, as these practices incite joy by providing evidence of connection and refuting the illusion of alienation.
5. Observe Everyday Care
Pay close attention to the ordinary ways people care for, tend to, and look out for one another, as noticing these ’not special, but wondrous’ connections helps combat feelings of cosmic loneliness.
6. Practice Impermanence Awareness
Practice being aware of life’s impermanence and the ‘wound of existence’ (e.g., loss, pain), which can orient you to lean toward others and foster mutual care when difficulties arise.
7. Infuse Mundane Aesthetics
Approach everyday activities like hanging clothes, sweeping, or folding laundry with an ’ethic of aesthetics,’ finding delight and beauty in how you perform these mundane tasks.
8. Write by Hand
Write by hand for creative or reflective tasks, as it leads to a different kind of syntax, logic, and grammar, allowing for more wild, beautiful, and unexpected thought by not deleting initial thinking.
9. Draft Quickly
When writing, draft quickly to keep the practice simple and to allow for a ‘weird, rangy, digressive, physical syntax’ that can lead to more original and unexpected thought.
10. Limit Smartphone Use
Consider using a ‘dumb phone’ or consciously limiting smartphone use, as these devices can be ‘delight blockers’ that promote disconnection and prevent opportunities for sweet helplessness and human interaction.
11. Avoid Rushing
Consciously avoid rushing through daily activities, as constant rushing negatively impacts your mood and behavior, making you less pleasant to yourself and the people around you.
12. Embrace Helplessness
Allow yourself to be ‘sweetly helpless’ sometimes, such as by asking for directions, as this permits you to ask for help, fostering connection and making your need for others more evident.
13. Refuse Isolating Tech
Deliberately refuse certain isolating technologies or practices (e.g., QR codes for menus) to encourage closer interaction and make mutual need for one another more evident.
14. Curate Social Circle
Be mindful of the people you interact with, as being around others who are able to notice delight can positively influence your own mood and practice.
15. Share Excess Resources
Share excess resources, such as garden produce, with others, as this is a natural, everyday act of care and community that demonstrates our interconnectedness.