← 10% Happier with Dan Harris

David Leite, Food Writer, Memoirist (LIVE!)

Apr 19, 2017 52m 9s 24 insights
In a special edition of the "10% Happier" podcast, Dan Harris leads a discussion with David Leite, author of "Notes on a Banana: A Memoir of Food, Love and Manic Depression," in front of a live audience in New York City. Leite talks at length about struggling with bipolar disorder for decades -- and going undiagnosed for much of that time -- but also shares funny stories about navigating relationships and his passion for food.
Actionable Insights

1. Cease Battling Immutable Realities

Stop expending energy battling against inherent aspects of your identity or unchangeable conditions, such as sexual orientation or mental illness, as these are unwinnable struggles that lead to exhaustion.

2. Seek Accurate Diagnosis Actively

Take an active role in seeking an accurate diagnosis for persistent health issues, including self-research and finding competent doctors for evaluation, as this was critical for David to finally understand and treat his condition.

3. Patiently Find Right Medication

Understand that finding the ‘proper medication combination’ for mental health conditions can take several years, requiring patience and persistence to achieve significant relief and stability.

4. Lean Into Reality Without Judgment

Practice meditation to learn to ’lean into whatever is happening right now’ and embrace ‘being fully who you are without judgment,’ which helps to stop the futile struggle against reality.

5. Meditation: Noticing Distraction is Success

Understand that in meditation, the ‘game is noticing’ when your mind wanders and then gently returning your attention to your breath; this act of noticing and restarting is considered success, not failure.

6. Counter Fallacy of Uniqueness

Challenge the ‘fallacy of uniqueness’ by understanding that feelings of being ‘uniquely crazy’ are a common part of the human situation, which can reduce isolation and self-judgment.

7. Support Children with Mental Illness

For children with mental illness, provide deep reassurance that they ‘will be okay’ and that help is available, ensure a proper diagnosis, and parents should actively partner with doctors to find the right fit and manage care.

8. Nurture Hope and Reassurance

Offer consistent reassurance and hope to individuals experiencing mental health struggles, emphasizing that they ‘will be okay’ and nurturing their ‘human pilot light’ to prevent it from extinguishing.

9. Practical Mental Health Coping

Actively manage mental health by prioritizing sleep (including naps), maintaining regular eating habits, engaging in therapy, and consulting with a psychiatrist for necessary medication adjustments to prevent severe episodes.

10. Monitor Sleep, Eating, Activity

Pay close attention to your sleep patterns, eating habits, and overall activity levels, as disruptions in these areas can be early indicators of an impending hypomanic or mental health episode.

11. Engage Rhythmic, Grounding Activities

Practice rhythmic and repetitive activities, such as chopping food while cooking, to slow down your mind, find moments of calm, and experience small instances of happiness.

12. Mindfulness in Everyday Moments

Cultivate mindfulness by carefully observing simple, mundane sensory experiences, such as watching a pad of butter melt, to feel grounded and present in the moment.

13. Employ Diverse Coping Strategies

When facing an undiagnosed or persistent struggle, try a variety of coping mechanisms such as journaling, confiding in close friends, engaging in spiritual practices, exercising, and adjusting your diet.

14. Use Distraction for Pain

Engage in activities like watching a favorite show (e.g., Julia Child reruns) that can serve as a ‘good distraction’ to temporarily turn off painful or punitive thoughts.

15. Communicate Desperation for Help

When in a desperate situation, communicate the severity of your internal struggle to adults or caregivers to ensure you receive the necessary professional help, as David did to see a psychiatrist.

16. Cautious Medication Approach for Kids

Exercise caution and seek alternatives or second opinions before accepting tranquilizers or strong medications for children, as David and his father declined Valium at age 11.

17. Meditation Hard with Mood Disorders

Recognize that meditation can be ‘virtually impossible’ for individuals experiencing severe manic or depressive phases of a mood disorder due to intense internal chatter and difficulty focusing.

18. Recognize “Veneta” Dual Nature

Understand that an ‘indomitable force of will’ or ‘veneta’ can be powerful for achieving external goals, but recognize its potential for self-battling and learn to apply it discerningly rather than against internal realities like identity or illness.

19. Share Your Difficult Story

Share your personal story, particularly about challenging life experiences, to connect with and potentially help others who may be facing similar struggles.

20. Memoir: Be Honest, Specific

When writing a memoir, be ‘honest enough with yourself’ and focus on making your story ‘more specific,’ as this approach increases its universal appeal and ability to deeply connect with readers.

21. Deep Reflection for Self-Understanding

Undertake a process of deep self-reflection, like writing a memoir, to achieve a more profound and ’three-dimensional’ understanding of your own life and identity.

22. Consistent Daily Meditation Practice

Commit to a consistent daily meditation practice, such as 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes at night, to help achieve mental equilibrium and potentially unlock unexpected creative outlets.

23. Question Spiritual Claims Critically

When exploring spiritual or unconventional practices, maintain a critical perspective and ‘question the validity’ of claims like talking to spirits, as advised by the host.

24. Participate in Banana Project

Write notes of encouragement, love, or support on a banana for a loved one, take a picture, and share it on social media using #notesonabanana to contribute to a ‘digital quilt of love, support, and caring.’