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Daniel Goleman, Diving into 'Emotional Intelligence' (Bonus Episode!)

Apr 14, 2017 49m 30s 12 insights
"The human central nervous system and brain is designed the same around the world... and there probably is a lot of spontaneous rediscovery in different areas of different ways you can play with the mind," Dan Goleman, renowned psychologist and author of the best-selling book, "Emotional Intelligence," says in our interview. Goleman has helped spread the concept of "emotional intelligence," or "EQ," and its four parts -- self-awareness, self-management, social awareness (empathy) and relationship management (social skills) -- across the globe and explains why it matters a great deal in leadership.
Actionable Insights

1. Cultivate Self-Awareness

Practice mindfulness to intimately focus on yourself, noticing thoughts and feelings that would otherwise pass by or take you over, thereby cultivating self-awareness as a foundational step for emotional intelligence.

2. Enable Self-Regulation

Utilize mindfulness as a prerequisite for managing yourself and self-regulation; by becoming aware of your ‘inner torrent’ of emotions and thoughts, you can prevent them from controlling your behavior.

3. Practice Loving Kindness

Engage in loving kindness (Metta) meditation, often paired with mindfulness, by systematically envisioning other beings and sending them good vibes to enhance empathy and potentially gain health and behavioral benefits.

4. Combine Mindfulness, Cognitive Therapy

If experiencing depression or negative thought patterns, use mindfulness as a base to observe your thoughts and feelings, then apply cognitive therapy techniques to challenge and not believe those thoughts, forming a potent intervention.

5. Develop Emotional Intelligence Skills

Beyond mindfulness, actively work on competencies such as striving toward goals despite setbacks, maintaining a positive outlook by interpreting challenges as opportunities, and being adaptable to change fixed routines when they are not working.

6. Develop Social & Leadership

Cultivate skills like organizational awareness (understanding influence and persuasion within a group), conflict management (aiming for win-win solutions), and teamwork, as these are crucial for outstanding leadership and high performance.

7. Explore Eastern Wisdom

Recognize that Eastern traditions offer profound wisdom for understanding and transforming the mind, and actively explore these paths, such as by reading ancient texts like the Vasudhi Magga or modern syntheses.

8. Prioritize Meditation Retreats

Consider attending deep meditation retreats (e.g., 10-day or three-month retreats) to engage in intensive practice, as this is a traditional and effective way to deepen one’s meditative experience.

9. Practice Non-Dual Meditation

Explore non-dual meditation practices like Dzogchen, which aim to move beyond the level of thoughts, treating them as arisings that pass away, to cultivate a steady awareness and platform that allows thoughts to come and go without getting absorbed by them.

10. Provide Secure Child Base

As a parent, create a ‘secure base’ for your child by showing care, tuning into their feelings, protecting them, and building trust, which forms a core of security they will carry into all future relationships.

11. Advocate Social-Emotional Learning

Support or implement Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) in K-12 education to teach children essential life skills like self-awareness, managing disruptive feelings, empathy, getting along, collaborating, and cooperating, ensuring every child has the opportunity to develop these foundational competencies.

12. Utilize MoreThanSound.net Resources

Visit MoreThanSound.net to access books, videos, and primers on emotional intelligence, including ‘The Brain and Emotional Intelligence’ and ‘What Makes a Leader,’ to deepen your understanding and development of these skills.