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Chris Bosh: Making Your Inner Voice Your Ally

Jun 7, 2021 54m 49s 29 insights
<p>One of the more surprising lessons I've learned as an ambitious person is that perhaps the best recipe for success is... keeping your ego in check. For a long time, I subconsciously believed that you needed to be unremittingly selfish to "make it." But after life delivered me repeated beat-downs, I finally got the message: sometimes what's best for me is to focus on greater good -- on the team. It's enlightened self-interest. (For the record, I am not perfect at this.) My guest today has also learned this lesson the hard way.  Chris Bosh is an 11-time NBA All-Star, an Olympic gold medalist, and he was just recently inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame. He says his proudest moments as a player came from defeating his own ego, and you'll hear him explain how he learned to do this. You'll also hear him talk about something that anyone who's ever been born needs to learn how to do (given that we live in a universe where impermanence is a nonnegotiable fact): letting go. In 2016, Chris nearly died from a blood clotting illness that sidelined him. He spent the next couple of years trying to make his way back to the NBA before retiring in 2019. He's just written a new book, in which he tells his story and compiles some hard-won wisdom. It's called Letters to a Young Athlete. But you don't have to be an athlete to benefit; it's really for anyone who's interested in excellence.  In this conversation, Chris and I talk about the difficult process of letting go of something you love; the in's and out's of his journey with his own ego, both during and after his playing career; how to set aside the inner chatter in your mind in order to be in the present moment; and how to play every game–whatever that might mean to you–like it's your last. Before we dive in, I also want to let you know about a special series of episodes we'll be launching next week here on the podcast. It's called "Taming Anxiety." It will feature interviews with top anxiety researchers and a dynamite meditation teacher. And, as is our wont here in TPH-land, we'll be launching a free companion meditation challenge on the Ten Percent Happier app to help you put everything you learn in the podcast series into practice in your daily life -- to integrate it into your neurons, as I like to say.  Get ready to join the free challenge on June 21 by downloading the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/chris-bosh-353</p>
Actionable Insights

1. Keep Ego in Check

To achieve success, focus on keeping your ego in check and prioritizing the greater good or the team, as this can lead to enlightened self-interest.

2. Practice Letting Go

Learn to let go of things you love, especially when faced with impermanence, as it’s a non-negotiable fact of life and a necessary process for moving forward.

3. Defeat Your Ego

Recognize when your ego is speaking by identifying those things you don’t like or that cause you to complain, as these are often signs of ego-driven thoughts that prevent team success.

4. Cultivate Flexible Ego

Cultivate a flexible ego by adapting your role and strategy to align with your ultimate goal, even if it means changing your self-perception or previous aspirations, to achieve success.

5. Resist Ego’s Provocation

Resist the ego’s provocation to step out of character and prove yourself, especially when facing criticism, as such actions often serve no productive purpose and can derail your focus.

6. Suppress Ego, Stay Goal-Oriented

Identify the ego’s voice, recognize it, suppress it by saying “whatever,” and continue working towards your goal without being sidetracked by self-importance.

7. Reframe Ego as Confidence

Reframe what might be perceived as ego as confidence, understanding that a healthy belief in your ability to pursue and achieve your goals is not cockiness.

8. Silence Inner Chatter

To perform at your best, practice setting aside your inner chatter and focusing on being present in the moment.

9. Stay Present, Execute Moment-to-Moment

Focus on staying in the moment and executing at that specific time, moving on to the next moment regardless of whether the previous one was good or bad, as this approach leads to a better overall collection of experiences.

10. Approach Every Endeavor

Approach every “game” or endeavor as if it’s your last, appreciating the opportunity and enjoying the process because it might not always be there.

11. Use Pain as Fuel

When facing disappointment or failure, use the pain as fuel to keep pursuing your goals, as you cannot let it break you and must continue to go for it.

12. Move On From Mistakes

When you make a mistake, do not dwell on it or let it create a snowball effect; instead, immediately move on to the “next play” with full focus and concentration.

13. Control Your Comeback

Accept that perfect performance every time is unrealistic; instead, focus on controlling your response and how you come back in the next opportunity after a mistake or bad performance.

14. Maintain Emotional Balance

Strive to maintain emotional balance by not getting too high after success or too low after failure, as this helps you stay focused on the next task and meet expectations.

15. Deliberately Counter Negative Self-Talk

Be deliberate about your self-talk, actively counter-programming negative internal dialogue, especially when noticing thoughts like “man, you suck tonight,” to maintain focus and performance.

16. Accept Self-Doubt

Accept self-doubt as a normal and healthy indicator that you are striving for something important, recognizing it as just a thought that everyone experiences.

17. Act Despite Inner Voice

Regardless of negative inner dialogue or self-doubt, your actions must continue moving forward if you want to achieve your goals or happiness.

18. Maintain Focus Under Pressure

In critical moments, avoid panicking and instead maintain a high mood, maximum effort, focus, and concentration, always asking how you can best help the team.

19. Discover Your ‘Why’

Discover and embrace your “why” – the core reason you love what you do – ensuring it brings positivity, allows you and others to flourish, and fosters a symbiotic relationship of mutual help.

20. Prioritize Team Success

Prioritize the success of the team because when the team is successful, everyone is successful, fostering a better flow and communication even in challenging times.

21. Address Problems Immediately

If there’s a problem within a team or if performance standards aren’t met, talk about it right away to prevent issues from escalating and to bring the team closer together.

22. Push Past Limits

Continuously push yourself past your perceived limits, and then even further, especially in challenging or “do or die” situations, to achieve greatness.

23. Know Your Limits to Exceed Them

To effectively push past your limits and grow, you must first understand what those limits are.

24. Trust Your Preparation

When moments of challenge or truth arise, trust in the mental, visual, and physical work you have consistently put in during your preparation.

25. Consistent Daily Effort

Consistently put in daily work towards your goals, regardless of whether you’re feeling good, bad, or indifferent, to ensure continuous growth and avoid getting stuck in one place.

26. Be Kind to Yourself

Take it easy on yourself and develop a sense of humor about your “crazy inner dialogue” to help settle down and make smarter decisions.

27. Integrate Recovery & Rest

Integrate recovery and rest as essential components of your training or work regimen, finding a personal balance to prevent injury and maintain consistent output.

28. Heed Sharp Pain

Use sharp pain as a clear indicator to stop an activity and prioritize your well-being, recognizing it as a sign that you are pushing too hard and risk injury.

29. Active Recovery for Mind & Body

Incorporate active but less intense recovery activities like yoga to rejuvenate your body and refresh your mind, especially after intense periods, to maintain output.