Recognize that ‘our lives are what we pay attention to,’ meaning you only experience and remember what you focus on, making every attention decision a broader life decision.
Understand that your mind constantly presents ideas, but you don’t have to follow all of them, giving you the power to choose your mental direction.
Engage in the process of cultivating compassion and non-judgment towards yourself, which can be profoundly useful for dealing with self-hatred and fostering kindness.
In stressful situations, recognize you can choose to continue down a negative path or take a step back to reframe the situation, giving you control over your emotional state.
Shift your mindset from merely spending less time on your phone to spending more time on your life by consciously redefining your relationship with your device.
Practice noticing how you feel in the moment while using your phone, as this awareness provides the option to continue or change your behavior.
Before engaging with your phone, ask ‘What for?’, ‘Why now?’, and ‘What else?’ to make conscious decisions about your phone use and explore alternative actions.
Understand that while habits can’t be broken, they can be changed by replacing an unwanted behavior with a new one, especially for dopamine-driven phone use.
Turn off all notifications, including audible alerts, visual bubbles, and browser tab counts, to prevent the dopamine-activating Pavlovian response to new information.
Configure your phone’s home screen with only practical tools (e.g., maps, utilities) rather than tempting apps, to avoid automatic engagement and distraction.
Remove problematic apps like Instagram from your phone to create a barrier, making it harder to access them and reducing impulsive checking.
If not deleting, move tempting apps to an interior page of your phone or into a folder with a warning label, requiring active effort to access them.
Create physical or digital obstacles, such as changing lock screen images or putting a rubber band around your phone, to force a moment of conscious decision before use.
Instead of using your inbox as a holding pen, convert emails into actionable tasks on a separate to-do list to free your mind from unresolved loops and calm your inbox.
Employ apps like ‘Freedom’ to block access to specific apps and websites at set times, helping you stick to desired phone-free periods or work blocks.
Physically remove your phone from rooms where you engage in leisure activities, like watching TV, to prevent mindless checking and enhance presence.
When trying to avoid phone use, provide yourself with an alternative activity for your hands, such as holding a cup of tea, to redirect the impulse.
Designate a consistent, specific place for your phone to ‘sleep’ overnight, ideally outside your bedroom, to reduce decision fatigue and promote phone-free evenings.
Charge your phone in an awkward or inconvenient location, like a closet, so that any attempt to check it requires conscious effort and reminds you of your intention.
Evaluate your news consumption habits and consider deleting news apps from your phone, relying on desktop checks or physical newspapers to stay informed without feeling overwhelmed.
As the first step in a four-week plan, take time to pay attention to how your phone makes you feel and reconnect with activities that genuinely bring you joy.
In the second week of the phone breakup plan, apply practical ‘hacks’ to your phone and environment, now guided by your established goals and awareness.
Dedicate the third week to rebuilding your concentration by practicing meditation, mindfulness, or simply reading a book for 10 minutes without phone distraction.
During the final week, evaluate your progress, reflect on what you’ve learned, and create a written record of your new habits to ensure long-term adherence to your redefined phone relationship.
Between weeks three and four of the plan, commit to a full 24-hour period completely away from your phone, which is often challenging but ultimately rewarding.
Be very careful with children’s screen time, limiting it to essential communication like video calls with grandparents and avoiding highly stimulating content like YouTube Kids.
Reduce the amount of time children see you on your phone, and when you do use it, announce what you’re doing to model conscious and intentional use.
Consciously choose to be fully present when with your children, avoiding phone use, radio, or news, and using their interest in the world as your own meditation practice.
When feeling bored during repetitive activities with children, use it as a reminder to question ‘what’s boring?’ and try to rediscover wonder and enjoyment in their fascination.
Strive for a balance between guided and unguided meditation in your practice, as a mix can provide both structure and personal exploration.
Incorporate guided meditations to stay connected to the core purpose of the practice, especially when doing it alone might lead to feeling lost or disconnected.
Recognize that getting distracted during meditation is inevitable; the ‘win’ is simply noticing the distraction and gently returning your attention to the practice.
Consider keeping a meditation journal if it genuinely feels useful for your practice or for discussing with a teacher, but re-evaluate if it becomes a distraction during meditation.
Approach your meditation practice with skillfulness, finding a ‘middle path’ rather than rigid yes/no answers, to avoid getting hung up on minor aspects.
Explore meditation techniques like body scans or scanning the environment for sounds if traditional visualization methods don’t work well for you.