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Can You Be OK With Uncertainty? | Jack Kornfield

Apr 29, 2020 1h 14m 41 insights
On this episode, a bad news / good news situation. Let's start with the bad news: human beings are not wired for uncertainty. It short circuits our system. The mind wants to plan, to work things out - and, in a pandemic, that is basically impossible. The good news: meditation is perfectly designed to take the edge off, if not more. Our guest this week is Jack Kornfield, a pioneering meditation teacher, prolific author, a former Buddhist monk, and a clinical psychologist. We talk about: how to use meditation to embrace uncertainty, the importance of getting in touch with your own "tainted glory," and why we shouldn't fear the schmaltz. (That last one was mostly for me.) Where to find Jack Kornfield online: Website: https://jackkornfield.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/JackKornfield Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jkornfield Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jack_kornfield/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5JayBKk-Bynk6XnUnU7vLA Other Resources Mentioned: Lady Gaga Kicks Off 'One World: Together at Home' With Performance of 'Smile' / https://variety.com/2020/music/news/lady-gaga-smile-together-at-home-1234584282/ Spring Washam / https://www.springwasham.com/ Ram Dass / https://www.ramdass.org/ Neem Karoli Baba / https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neem_Karoli_Baba Wangari Maathai / https://www.greenbeltmovement.org/wangari-maathai Preah Maha Ghosananda / https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preah_Maha_Ghosananda Dolly Parton's Poem / https://www.instagram.com/p/B-xdJu6FCR9/ Insight Meditation Society / https://www.dharma.org/ Jack Kornfield's Meditations / https://jackkornfield.com/meditations/ Tara Brach / https://www.tarabrach.com/ Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Health Care Workers, Grocery Store & Food Delivery Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jack-kornfield-243
Actionable Insights

1. Quiet Mind, Hold Deep Feelings

Sit quietly and meditate to access deep feelings like fear, grief, and love; hold these emotions with mindful, loving awareness to find a steady and timeless presence during difficult times.

2. Bring Body and Mind to Same Place

Begin meditation by sitting quietly and bringing your body and mind into the same place, either by focusing on the natural rhythm of your breath or by scanning and relaxing each part of your body.

3. Embrace Difficulties with Kindness

When difficult emotions or sensations arise, hold them with mindful attention and kindness, allowing them to open and show themselves rather than resisting or trying to make them disappear.

4. Cultivate Friendly Awareness

Integrate ‘friendly awareness’ or ‘kind attention’ into your mindfulness practice to prevent it from becoming dry or a subtle form of self-judgment, allowing you to be truly open to your experience.

5. Tolerate Vulnerability for Stability

Expand your ‘window of tolerance’ by practicing acceptance of your own vulnerability and insecurity, which helps you become more stable, steady, and loving, preventing projection onto others.

6. Direct Attention Inward

Utilize the human ability to direct attention inward through meditation to learn about your inner landscape, fostering deeper understanding, steadiness, and a more compassionate heart.

7. Ask “What’s My Best Intention?”

When friction or conflict arises, pause, take a breath, and ask yourself ‘What’s my best intention?’ to shift your internal channel towards a more constructive and loving response.

8. Act Usefully for Well-being

Engage in useful and helpful actions, even small ones, as this serves as an antidote to painful mind states such as selfishness and the anxiety of future uncertainty.

9. Ground in Present Amidst Uncertainty

When confronted with uncertainty, ground yourself in the present moment by acknowledging what is certain (your presence, sensory details) and proceed ‘a step at a time’ from a place of comfort with the unknown.

10. Surrender to Not Knowing

Experience liberation by surrendering to the reality of not knowing what the future holds, rather than struggling against the inherent uncertainty of life.

11. See Innocence in Family

When experiencing irritation with a family member, practice seeing them as their younger, innocent self to reconnect with their original goodness and shift your perspective.

12. Don’t Pick Up Conflict’s Boulder

When irritation or conflict arises, remember that you don’t have to engage with it; choose not to ‘pick up the boulder’ by acknowledging the feeling without escalating into an aggressive cycle.

13. Cultivate Constancy, Not Patience

Instead of forcing ‘patience,’ cultivate ‘constancy,’ which is the ability to repeatedly return to the present moment and accept ‘here’ as where you are, rather than trying to steel yourself to get through something.

14. Embrace Annihilation for Inner Strength

To find what is indestructible within yourself and cultivate true awakening, repeatedly expose yourself to situations that feel like annihilation.

15. Seek Growth-Oriented Support

During hard times, seek out friends or mentors who will help you risk yourself and pass courageously through difficulty, rather than those who simply offer comfort and encourage your old self to survive.

16. Approach Hard Times Consciously

When facing difficult life events or ‘initiations,’ approach them consciously and wisely to learn profound lessons that might not be accessible otherwise.

17. Use Meditation for Uncertainty

Practice meditation to manage the discomfort and short-circuiting effect of uncertainty on your system, as it is perfectly designed to help take the edge off.

18. Avoid Reactive Blame

Prevent fear, anxiety, anger, and loss from building up and leading to reactive blame by instead engaging in deeper self-reflection and processing these emotions.

19. Address Inner Pain to Reduce Hate

Recognize that clinging to hate and prejudice can be a way to avoid personal pain; address your own pain and insecurity to foster a more loving and less blaming stance.

20. Observe Inner States Mindfully

After quieting your mind, direct mindful attention to observe your emotions (e.g., fear, anger) and bodily sensations (e.g., tension) without running away, ignoring, or hating them.

21. Thank Emotions for Protection

When experiencing emotions like fear or anger, acknowledge their protective intent by saying ’thank you for trying to protect me,’ then reassure yourself that you are okay for now.

22. Be a Loving Inner Witness

Cultivate the ability to be a loving witness to your inner experiences, becoming the ‘one who knows’ both the difficult and beautiful aspects of your body and heart, which expands your window of tolerance.

23. Accept Follies with Warmth

View your own faults and follies with the warmth of a kind heart, like ‘snow falling on warm ground,’ accepting them without judgment or clinging, recognizing that ‘we’re all human.’

24. Tell Truth, Love Everyone

Strive to ’tell the truth’ and ’love everybody,’ even when faced with annoying or difficult people, as this can lead to a deeper, more compassionate understanding of humanity.

25. See Good in Others

Actively look for the good in others, as Nelson Mandela suggested, because people often respond by acting better when they feel seen and valued.

26. Trust Your Inner Wisdom

Approach meditation as an act of care and trust your organism’s innate understanding, allowing kindness to guide your practice rather than treating it as a grim duty.

27. Mindfulness as Self-Care

Understand and practice mindfulness as a fundamental act of care for yourself, allowing you to return to your innate capacity for compassion.

28. Be a Source of Hope

During challenging times, focus on bringing your unique contributions, being uplifting, and carrying hope, recognizing humanity’s enormous creativity to rebuild.

29. Quiet, Tend, Contribute

Quiet your mind and tend your heart with courage and compassion, then go out into the world to identify what you can add, what vision you have, and what beautiful or meaningful things want to be born.

30. Ask “How Can I Help?”

To be a productive and useful citizen, especially in challenging times, ask yourself ‘How can I help?’ and then take action, as this can be an antidote to painful mind states like selfishness.

31. Understand Anger’s Roots

When observing anger in others, particularly those with differing political views, try to recognize that it often stems from underlying fear, pain, hurt, or loss, which can foster greater compassion.

32. Support Community in Uncertainty

In times of uncertainty and hardship, take responsibility to support your community through direct actions like helping at a food bank, donating, or supporting non-profits, which can also provide a sense of purpose.

33. Create Space in Family Life

When living in close quarters with family, intentionally create time and space apart, and engage in shared activities like watching movies that don’t solely focus on direct interaction to reduce friction.

34. Ask “What Do You Need?” Kindly

In times of family friction, pause and ask each other ‘What do you need?’ with a curious and open intention, rather than blame, to foster understanding and navigate difficulties together.

35. Practice Being Here Now

Embrace the practice of ‘being here now,’ focusing on being fully present in the current moment rather than constantly striving for a future outcome.

36. Observe Impatience Kindly

When impatience arises, observe it with humor and kindness, acknowledging its attempt to make things work out, and gently reassure yourself, ‘I’m okay for now.’

37. Tend Life Like a Garden

Approach the unfolding of your life and relationships with constancy, tending them like a garden by offering care and attention, rather than trying to force or control their growth.

38. Utilize Guided Meditations

If new to meditation, use guided meditations from teachers like Jack Kornfield (JackKornfield.com) or others to get regular support and help establish your practice.

39. Integrate Daily Quieting Practices

Start your day with quieting practices, take mini pauses throughout, or sit at the end of the day to steady yourself and cultivate stillness, which can make a significant difference.

40. Attention as an Act of Love

Understand that giving your attention is an act of love; practice mindfulness as a way of being fully present for yourself, for others, and for the world around you.

41. Access Free Meditation App

If you work in healthcare, grocery stores, or food delivery, visit 10percent.com/care to get free access to the 10% Happier app. Also, share this link with others who fit these descriptions.