When you feel anxious, embrace the emotion rather than trying to suppress or get rid of it, because attempting to squelch it often makes it worse and embracing it opens up opportunities.
Utilize exposure therapy, a cognitive behavioral therapy tool, by systematically facing your fears and intentionally not shying away from them. This practice, though painful, builds resilience and helps habituate you to anxiety.
Recognize that it’s unrealistic to expect to feel even-keeled and happy all the time, as distress and difficult emotions are a normal and inevitable part of the human experience. Accepting this reality can lead to greater emotional wellness.
Engage in the practice of “thinking the worst” by systematically exploring the absolute worst-case scenarios of your worries, detailing what would happen next and how it would impact your life. This helps you accept your lack of control, tolerate uncertainty, and build resilience against life stressors.
Recognize your limited individual control and accept your small place in the vastness of the world, distinguishing between battles you can fight and those that are “not your circus.” This humility can make you a better person and reduce the burden of perceived control.
Use anxiety as a tool to deepen relationships by opening up and being vulnerable about how you feel, even risking rejection or judgment. This act of sharing can create secure, connected bonds and transmute anxiety into love.
Explain your vulnerabilities to others to foster secure attachment, allowing them to be there for you and understand your needs. While there’s a risk they might not respond as hoped, this openness clarifies your standing and strengthens bonds when reciprocated.
Identify your unique skills and potential to make a difference, then pursue your real dreams with courage, understanding that anxiety and terror will be a natural part of stepping out on a limb. Embracing this discomfort can lead to transformative experiences.
Be aware that anger often serves as a secondary emotion, a cover-up for underlying fear or anxiety, making it easier to blame others rather than express vulnerability. Identify this dynamic to address the primary emotion.
When feeling angry, shift your communication to express the underlying primary emotion of fear or vulnerability, rather than focusing on the secondary emotion of anger. This approach fosters deeper understanding and connection.
In conflicts, share your needs and how certain behaviors make you feel, rather than blaming the other person, to foster constructive communication. Frame your feelings as personal experiences and needs, not accusations.
On days when you feel anxious, prioritize self-compassion by avoiding new projects, getting extra rest, and engaging in enjoyable activities like cooking a nice meal, exercising, or connecting with friends. These actions help you be kind to yourself instead of pushing through.
Practice delegating tasks that are not your core responsibility and adopt the mindset of “not my circus, not my monkeys” to accept your human limits. This allows you to focus on what you truly want to accomplish and reduces self-imposed overwhelm.
Regularly take inventory of your feelings and question why you are taking on so much, as reckoning with overcommitment can lead to personal growth and make you more effective in your roles. This self-reflection helps prioritize and manage responsibilities better.
Be aware that taking on excessive responsibilities or projects can be a way to avoid acknowledging existing stress or anxiety. Instead of piling on tasks as a distraction, address the underlying feelings.
If overwhelmed at work, have a direct conversation with your boss about your struggles and what absolutely needs to get done, or confide in a trusted colleague to ask for help or coverage. This open communication is more effective than pretending everything is okay.
Maintain sanity by engaging in regular physical activity like running, spending quality time with family, and openly communicating struggles with loved ones instead of pretending everything is okay. These practices provide opportunities for connection and well-being.
Avoid the expectation that life should always be pleasant and free of suffering, as this mindset leads to greater distress when challenges arise. Instead, view suffering as an inherent part of life to build resilience.
Acknowledge that close relationships are inherently messy and complex, and avoid seeking perfectly clean or predictable interactions. This acceptance can foster deeper connections by moving beyond a need for constant control.
Combat the societal pressure to always appear and feel good by openly discussing your distress and emotional variability with others. This vulnerability can actually make you stronger and foster healthier connections.
Understand that anxiety, while unnecessary in the moment, is not dangerous; it simply indicates that your body’s fear system is functioning as it should, preparing you to respond to perceived threats. This reframing can reduce the cascade of anxiety.
Acknowledge that anxiety is not pleasant, but actively choose to respond to it and use it in constructive ways, as this approach can immeasurably enrich your life over time. This involves finding positive applications for the distress rather than just enduring it.
Recognize that experiencing and dealing with anxiety can, by necessity, lead to increased self-awareness, helping you understand your inner workings and emotional responses more deeply. This enhanced self-understanding is a common outcome for many who confront their anxiety.
Understand that confronting anxiety can lead to greater self-compassion, as you learn to accept your limits and acknowledge that having difficult feelings is a normal and healthy part of being human. This process may take time, but it results in a healthier way to live.
Avoid shying away from challenges or trying to squelch anxiety, as this not only makes anxiety worse but also causes you to miss out on valuable opportunities to truly know yourself and grow. Embrace discomfort to gain self-understanding.
Develop the healthy life skill of habituating yourself to anxiety through practices like exposure therapy, as this makes it significantly easier to pursue and achieve your goals and dreams. This skill reduces the power anxiety has over your aspirations.
Understand that thriving is an internal state achievable even amidst distress or difficult external circumstances, unlike flourishing which often depends on favorable conditions. Focus on finding moments of connection, bravery, and insight regardless of your situation.
In interpersonal relationships, openly communicate the things that scare you, as this vulnerability can lead to the thriving of the relationship and transform anxiety into deeper love and connection. Consistency in this vulnerability is key.
Understand that a willingness to experience anxiety is crucial for cultivating close, loving relationships, as avoiding anxiety often leads to emotional closed-offness. Embrace this discomfort to foster genuine intimacy.
Be kind to yourself and accept that frustration is a valid response to genuinely challenging situations, rather than trying to suppress or eliminate it. Acknowledging this emotion without judgment is a healthier approach.
If the “thinking the worst” exercise becomes too intense or difficult, engage in it with a therapist, friend, or family member. Doing this practice with support can make it more manageable and effective.
When facing worries about potential losses, use personal mantras or slogans like “You’re good. You’re going to be fine” to reinforce the intellectual conclusion that you will ultimately be okay, helping to stop negative thought spirals and instill a felt sense of security.
If prayer resonates with you, use it as an act of accepting that you are not in control of a situation, rather than as a compulsive act to manipulate outcomes. This approach facilitates a healthy letting go and can be a positive experience for dealing with anxiety.
Regularly contemplate the vulnerability of your situation and circumstances, perhaps once a week, by considering how bad things could realistically go and striving for a place of acceptance around those possibilities. This practice can foster emotional resilience and spiritual growth.
Regularly visualize and play out worst-case scenarios, such as losing everything, to intellectually and emotionally conclude that you will ultimately be fine and supported by core relationships. This practice helps to internalize resilience and reduce clinging.
Engage with your own emotional experiences to become more attuned to the feelings of others, as this empathy can reflexively enhance self-compassion and deepen your understanding of your own emotions. This creates a positive feedback loop for emotional growth.
If using medication for anxiety, aim to take it down to a manageable level that enables you to face the anxiety, rather than using it as a “squelcher” to completely get rid of the feeling. This approach makes anxiety tolerable while you actively work on confronting it.
Consider downloading the 10% with Dan Harris app for a library of guided meditations to help with stress, anxiety, sleep, focus, and self-compassion, along with access to weekly live Zoom community sessions and ad-free podcast episodes.