Accept that life lacks clear closure and resolution, and resist the urge for quick fixes or forcing certainty, as this only creates more anxiety and suffering; instead, cultivate patience by accepting life’s inherent lack of resolution.
Recognize that identity can be a prison, as clinging to a self-limiting story about who you are puts a ceiling on your capabilities and cuts you off from reality. To escape, let go of your story and recognize that ’every day is a new day’ and ‘it doesn’t have to be like the day before.’
Pursue ambitions and take action in the world, but practice non-attachment to the results. Understand that while you can act from your limited position, ultimate outcomes are interconnected with a fluxing universe and largely beyond your control.
Address pain by ‘sitting with your feelings’ in an ‘open, accepting, warm, curious, interested way’ rather than reacting blindly. This mindful approach is the ‘radical move of Buddhism’ to prevent violence or harmful impulses.
Practice seeing that there is no inherent, fixed self as a profound form of self-love and self-compassion. This can alleviate suffering caused by the self’s demands and expectations.
Embrace paradox, understanding that seemingly contradictory truths (e.g., self exists and doesn’t exist; things matter and don’t matter) can be simultaneously true. Use this understanding as ‘medicine’ to navigate life’s challenges and avoid extremes like nihilism.
Prioritize and invest in the quality of your relationships with other people. This is the most important factor for optimizing health and longevity.
Focus on benefiting all beings and reducing suffering (yours and others’) as a core duty of life. This inherently reduces reliance on the self.
Enjoy pleasure, but avoid the mistake of believing it’s a strategy for true fulfillment, as chasing pleasure to outrun pain is a losing game that only leads to more suffering.
When experiencing strong desire, remember the phrase ’lust cracks the brain’ to prevent disastrous decisions. Practice mindfulness by observing desire as it arises and passes, understanding its impermanence to find freedom from its grip.
Understand karma as the simple ’law of cause and effect,’ recognizing that all actions have consequences, which can be unpredictable. Consider this when making choices.
Practice ‘right speech’ by ensuring your words are true, useful, spoken at the right time, and with the right intention. Avoid harmful gossip and backbiting, which lead to unpleasant consequences and unhappiness.
Engage with ‘crib notes versions of Buddhism’ or Buddhist self-help books, allowing these ideas to embed themselves in your thinking about the world, art, craft, and storytelling, even if you don’t become a ‘serious practitioner.’
View emotions and desires as transient, natural forces, like ‘wind in the trees’ or ‘meteorological phenomena,’ and cultivate faith in your underlying values to weather these temporary states without being swept away, making them more workable.
Recognize the equal importance of community (Sangha) alongside personal awakening (Buddha) and teachings (Dharma) in spiritual or personal growth. Actively engage with a supportive community for shared progress.
Overcome resentment and shed self-centeredness to genuinely appreciate others and find happiness in shared connection. Value the meaning derived from shared time and long-standing friendships.
Engage in regular repetition and reminders of fundamental truths, as humans are ‘programmed for denial’ and need to be ‘woken up over and over again’ to basic facts about life and suffering.
Approach Buddhism (or similar wisdom traditions) as a set of practices and actions (‘something to do’) rather than merely a belief system. Focus on its utility for reducing suffering.
Define spirituality broadly as anything that extends beyond your ’limited small self.’ This allows for a secular understanding and practice of spiritual principles.