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Buddhist Strategies for Suffering Less and Improving Your Meditation | Lama Rod Owens

Oct 25, 2023 1h 12m 20 insights
<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p>---</p> <p>Plus: Why Lama Rod is "no longer interested in being a good person," why we need to let go of perfectionism, and the selfish case for sainthood.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Lama Rod Owens is making his fifth appearance on Ten Percent Happier. He describes himself as "a Black Buddhist Southern Queen" and is an authorized lama in the Kagyu School of Tibetan Buddhism with a Master of Divinity degree from Harvard. His new book is <a href="https://www.lamarod.com/TNS-Celebration?utm_source=website&amp;utm_medium=homepage&amp;utm_campaign=TNS" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>The New Saints: From Broken Hearts to Spiritual Warriors</em></a><em>.</em></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about:</strong></p> <ul> <li>What Lama Rod means by "New Saint"</li> <li>Why he is "no longer interested in being a good person"</li> <li>Why it's so important to let go of the ideal of perfection</li> <li>The practices and characteristics of a New Saint</li> <li>The questions you should ask yourself about your beliefs</li> <li>His experiences with what he refers to as "unseen beings" and his exploration of the "unseen world"</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Related Episodes:</strong></p> <ul> <li><a href="https://radiopublic.com/ten-percent-happier-with-dan-harr-WwE9m8/s1!91848" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Meditation Party: Magic, Mystery, Intuition, Tattoos, and Non-Efforting | Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren</a></li> <li><a href="https://radiopublic.com/ten-percent-happier-with-dan-harr-WwE9m8/s1!c3853" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Lama Rod's first appearance on Ten Percent Happier</a></li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/lama-rod-owens-new-saints/lama-rod-owens-new-saints" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/lama-rod-owens-new-saints/lama-rod-owens-new-saints</a></p>
Actionable Insights

1. Abandon Perfectionism

Release the pursuit of perfection, recognizing it as a source of suffering and an impossible ideal. Embrace your humanness and imperfections to foster a more spacious and fluid relationship with what arises.

2. Choose Active Goodness

Actively choose to reduce suffering, harm, and violence for yourself and others in each moment, rather than resting on the identity of being a ‘good person.’ This allows for continuous self-assessment and improvement.

3. Prioritize Needs, Set Boundaries

Be attentive to your own needs and set boundaries to create space for self-care. This prevents depletion and resentment, allowing you to genuinely help others without causing further suffering or tension in relationships.

4. Practice Mindful Response

Engage in mindfulness by acknowledging, naming, and allowing thoughts and emotions to arise without immediate reaction. This practice helps decondition habitual responses, allowing you to respond thoughtfully rather than reactively.

5. Embrace Full Identity Truthfully

Acknowledge and express the full spectrum of your identity and desires truthfully, without censorship. This self-honesty is crucial for liberation and for transforming your relationship with your inner experiences.

6. Cultivate Unseen World Curiosity

Approach skepticism about the unseen world with curiosity, seeking information and experiences to explore its potential reality. Developing a relationship with unseen forces can provide support and reduce feelings of victimization.

7. Connect with Unseen Beings

Begin to develop a relationship with the unseen world, including ancestors and deities, by openly communicating and asking for what you need, often through prayer. This practice can foster a sense of being held and supported.

8. Ground in Radical Dharma

Integrate social liberation efforts with ultimate spiritual practice, grounding yourself in awareness of societal harms while connecting to the emptiness and fluidity of the phenomenal world. This bridges worldly engagement with spiritual freedom.

9. Engage in Spiritual Warfare

Acknowledge that beneath political and social conflicts lies spiritual warfare, perpetuated by unseen forces. Engage with the unseen world to create a more balanced and grounded experience in the relative world.

10. Practice Prophetic Truth-Telling

Be a ‘prophet’ by courageously speaking the truth about present suffering, even when it’s uncomfortable for others. This act of mirroring can inspire people to confront and address their avoidance.

11. Inspire, Don’t Save All

Focus on inspiring a few people to make positive changes, understanding that this ripple effect can lead to collective liberation. Release the burden of saving everyone and instead empower others to do their own work.

12. Embrace Fear, Act Anyway

Acknowledge and allow fear to be present without letting it dictate your actions. Choose to act in alignment with what you know is right, trusting your practice to navigate the consequences.

13. Cultivate Awakened Care

Cultivate ‘awakened care’ by integrating compassion (attunement to suffering), love (wish for freedom), and joy (gratitude and spaciousness), all within the understanding of emptiness. This holistic approach supports effective and sustainable engagement in helping others.

14. Shift to Responsiveness

Develop agency by noticing and naming what arises in your mind, body, and the world, then consciously choosing how to respond rather than reacting impulsively. This ’tending’ is an expression of awakened care, aimed at reducing suffering.

15. Cultivate Joy & Gratitude

Actively practice joy and gratitude by focusing on what you have and connecting with sources of beauty, relationships, and the resilience of ancestors. This helps manage the intensity of suffering and sustains you through difficult work.

16. Embrace Coexisting Realities

Acknowledge that multiple realities, including suffering and joy, can coexist simultaneously. Actively tune into positive aspects of life to build resilience and capacity to engage with difficult truths, rather than choosing one over the other.

17. Reconnect with Nature

Reestablish a harmonious relationship with the natural world by actively tuning into elements like earth, wind, water, and fire. This reconnection fosters sensitivity and provides support, serving as an antidote to environmental disconnection.

18. Utilize S.N.O.E.L.L. Method

Process internal experiences using S.N.O.E.L.L.: See (notice), Name (label), Own (accept responsibility), Experience (feel sensations), Let it Go (release fixation/reaction), and Let it Float (hold space without engagement). This cultivates clarity and allows for a chosen response.

19. Engage in Collective Liberation

Actively participate in collective survival, struggle, and care, working together with others to inspire a more liberated future. Recognize that individual efforts are part of a larger, interconnected movement.

Consistently choose to be present, holding space for the full spectrum of experiences including joy, rage, brokenness, and hope. This active consent to the present moment is the only path to liberation and allows you to take responsibility for your healing and helping others.