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Buddhist Lessons on Anxiety | Leslie Booker (2021)

Jan 28, 2022 1h 6m 38 insights
<p>All week, we've been running  "best of" episodes as part of our Taming Anxiety series – and this is the final episode in that series. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Leslie Booker (who goes by Booker) is one of America's leading dharma teachers. She's worked with incarcerated and vulnerable youth, she's done mindfulness and cognitive-based therapy work on Rikers Island, and she's written about best practices for teaching yoga in criminal justice settings. She's a graduate of three different training programs at Spirit Rock, including their four-year Retreat Teacher Training Program.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this conversation, Booker makes the case that one of the most important, even life-saving, tools when it comes to dealing with anxiety is our ability to connect with other people. And - like the three characteristics, Booker argues that the experience of anxiety is inherently impermanent, unsatisfactory, and unreliable (or, in Pali, it has the characteristics of <em>anicca</em>, <em>dukkha</em> and <em>anatta</em>). Understanding this fundamental truth, she says, can help us see our anxiety with more clarity, and therefore relate to it more skillfully. Booker also explains why bringing awareness to our bodies can help settle us in our most anxious moments. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Just a note: this interview was first recorded in May of 2021, so you may hear a few slightly dated references, but the topic of anxiety, for better or worse, is perennially relevant.  </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Join Booker next week as we re-launch the Taming Anxiety Challenge, over on the Ten Percent Happier app. To join the Challenge, just download the Ten Percent Happier app today wherever you get your apps or by visiting <a href="http://tenpercent.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">tenpercent.com</a>. If you already have the app, just open it up and follow the instructions to join!</p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/leslie-booker-repost" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/leslie-booker-repost</a></p> <p><br /></p>
Actionable Insights

1. Challenge Beliefs: Permanence, Perfection, Isolation

Reduce suffering by challenging the beliefs that things are permanent, that life should be perfect, and that you are alone in your experiences; instead, remember that you belong to each other.

2. Remember Impermanence of Suffering

Apply the Buddhist characteristic of impermanence (anicca) to your suffering, remembering that discomfort, stress, and unpleasant feelings are not permanent and will eventually pass, which can be liberating.

3. Share Fears with Others

When feeling overwhelmed by fear, quickly reach out to friends or your community to name the fear, as sharing it can make it vanish or become more manageable.

4. Talk to People About Issues

Avoid sitting in ‘a soup of chaos’ by actively choosing to talk to somebody about your issues, rather than overlooking this obvious solution.

5. Openly Communicate Anxieties

Engage in open communication with family and friends about anxieties, especially regarding how to interact and show up together in uncertain times.

6. Use “Just Like Me” Mantra

When observing others, mentally repeat ‘just like me’ to remember their shared humanity, struggles, and susceptibility to universal laws, which helps put things in perspective and cultivate compassion.

7. Extend Compassion to Difficult People

Apply the ‘just like me’ mantra even to those who cause harm, considering their potential past suffering or lack of support, to open your heart to compassion.

8. Intensive Self-Care for Stress

For high-stress professions, practice intensive self-care, mentally and emotionally preparing before entering stressful environments, and ritualize shedding that energy once you leave.

9. Ask “I Can, But Should I?”

When faced with opportunities, especially in busy times, pause and ask yourself, ‘I can, but should I?’ to assess if there’s enough space and capacity for refueling and nourishing your body.

10. Pause & Drink As You Pour

For those in direct service or constantly giving, it’s crucial to pause and replenish yourself (‘drink as you pour’) to ensure you have enough energy and capacity to continue giving.

11. Resource to the Room

When entering a new or potentially stressful environment, pause, feel your feet on the ground, notice your body’s response, then turn your head from side to side, observing colors, shapes, and textures to ground yourself and activate your animal brain for safety.

12. Five-Second Nervous System Reset

Before engaging in high-stress work, take five seconds to feel your feet, place a hand on your belly to feel your breath, and look around to get your bearings; this can transform your interactions and work.

13. Somatic Containment for Anxiety

To create a sense of containment and holding during anxiety, place one hand on your forehead and the other on the back of your neck, applying slight pressure.

14. Self-Soothing Touch & Pep Talk

When feeling anxious or self-critical (e.g., while writing), step away, place a hand on your chest, gently rub it, and give yourself a reassuring pep talk, acknowledging your feelings while offering encouragement.

15. Acknowledge & Tap Chest Anxiety

When feeling tightness or gripping in your chest due to anxiety, bring your attention to it, hold it, acknowledge it, and try gently tapping the center of your chest to break up the sensation into more manageable pieces.

16. Belly Breathing for Anxiety

To skillfully work with breath and settle the nervous system, focus your attention on the breath low in your belly, placing hands below the belly button and feeling it expand and deflate like a balloon.

17. Rest Eyes to Feel Body

When trying to drop into your body and feel its sensations, rest your eyes (look down or close them) to reduce external information and allow your body to ‘wake up’ as a sense gate.

18. Access Gut Intuition by Resting Eyes

To access your gut intuition and primordial wisdom, rest your eyes (look down or close them) to reduce external sensory input, allowing your body to become a sense gate for internal information.

19. Bring Awareness to the Body

Settle anxious moments by bringing awareness to your body and getting out of your head.

20. Proactive Somatic Movement

If you know when anxiety will arise, engage in somatic activities like walking or biking beforehand to move the energy through and meet it before it escalates.

21. Observe In-Moment Anxiety

If anxiety arises unexpectedly, pause and feel into the experience by noticing your breath and body, then observe it move, flow, and eventually dissipate.

22. Pause & Check Body/Breath

Pause and check in with the felt sensations in your body and the expression of your breath to gain information about what’s happening inside you.

23. Course Correct with Body/Breath

Use the information from your body and breath to course correct in real-time or for future actions, ensuring regulation and a grounded starting point.

24. Let Ego Take a Backseat

When anxiety stems from wanting to do things perfectly or say the right things, recognize it as your ego and consciously let it take a backseat.

25. Distinguish Ego from Body’s Wisdom

When considering career changes or major life decisions, intentionally reflect to distinguish between ego-driven beliefs (’this is who you are’) and the subtle wisdom of your body signaling what’s truly right for you.

26. Allow Space for Growth

Avoid becoming fixed and rigid in your identity or work, and instead, give yourself the space to grow, transform, and move into new ways of working that align with your evolving needs.

27. Integrate Coping into Daily Rhythm

Instead of just coping, integrate practices like resourcing into your daily rhythm, making them as routine as brushing your teeth, especially for high-stress jobs, so they become part of who you are.

28. Honor Life’s Changing Seasons

Listen to your body for information on whether a job or situation is still the right fit, honoring that you move through different seasons in life and may need to transform your work or location.

29. Normalize Fear and Anxiety

Actively talk about your fears and anxieties to normalize them, counteracting the collective tendency to hide these experiences and helping others feel less alone or ‘broken.’

30. Present Realistic Life Views

Counter the curated, photoshopped versions of lives on social media by presenting a more realistic view of your own life, including mundane or embarrassing moments, to foster a healthier collective perspective.

31. Share Struggles Authentically

Be willing to share your struggles and imperfections, even when they are still raw, to normalize human experience and counteract the pressure of presenting a perfectly polished life.

32. Acknowledge & Discuss Historical Trauma

Acknowledge, name, and talk about collective and historical traumas, such as those related to racism, to facilitate healing and prevent downplaying their ongoing impact.

33. Expand Breath Awareness

To alleviate tightness from focusing breath only at the nostrils, try to feel the breath moving through your entire body, including the bottoms of your feet or palms of your hands.

34. Get Curious About Each Breath

Approach each breath with curiosity, noticing its unique qualities, beginning, middle, and end, and how it changes, rather than expecting it to be static.

35. Flow with Breath Rhythm

By feeling the expansion, contraction, rising, and falling of the breath, you can flow into its rhythm, creating more space and capacity to be with whatever arises.

36. Take Full Breaths to Reset

When feeling tense or constricted, pause to notice your breath, then allow a full, deep breath to enter your body to reset and restore rhythm, flow, and continuity.

37. Find Active Rest Outlets

Discover and engage in activities like riding a bike or cooking that serve as active outlets to nourish and replenish your body and mind.

38. Use Laughter for Somatic Release

Incorporate laughter, such as watching stand-up comedy, as a somatic rest strategy to shake and move energy out of your body, providing a sense of release and replenishment.