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Buddhist Lessons on Anxiety | Leslie Booker

Jun 21, 2021 1h 10m 31 insights
Taming Anxiety Series - Episode 4: Welcome to the final episode in our Taming Anxiety Series! Today's guest, Leslie Booker – who goes by "Booker" – is one of America's leading dharma teachers. She began sharing the practice with vulnerable populations back in 2005 and is a graduate of three different training programs at Spirit Rock, including their four-year Retreat Teacher Training Program. In this conversation, Booker will make the case that one of the most important, even life-saving, tools when it comes to dealing with anxiety is our ability to connect with our communities. She also brings our attention to yet another Buddhist list – the "three characteristics." And she explains how bringing awareness to our bodies can help settle us in our most anxious moments. This, I should say, is something she's worked on with me personally. If you'd like to see that, you can actually do so, because we filmed it as part of our new Taming Anxiety Challenge, a ten-day meditation challenge which begins today over in the Ten Percent Happier app.  Booker is one of the core teachers in the Taming Anxiety Challenge, which features short videos and guided meditations about how to live with anxiety more intentionally. In the app, you'll see her share strategies with me – and you – for putting into practice everything we talk about on the podcast today — including ways to normalize the experience of anxiety in your community. In fact, by joining the Taming Anxiety Challenge, you'll be part of a community of thousands of meditators learning to cope with anxiety. You can even invite your friends or family to join you in the Challenge – for free! You'll get a notification each time they meditate, so you can be accountable to and supportive of each other.  You can join the Taming Anxiety Challenge by downloading the Ten Percent Happier app: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install. You should be prompted to join the Challenge after registering your account. If you've already downloaded the app, just open it up or visit this link to join: https://10percenthappier.app.link/TamingAnxietyChallenge. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/leslie-booker-358
Actionable Insights

1. Understand Three Characteristics of Existence

Learn and internalize the Buddhist ’three characteristics’ (impermanence, unsatisfactoriness/suffering, and impersonality/selflessness) to deal with anxiety more skillfully by recognizing its transient, non-personal nature.

2. Embrace Impermanence to Reduce Suffering

Remember that all experiences, including discomfort, stress, and anxiety, are impermanent and will eventually pass, which can be liberating and reduce suffering caused by the belief that negative feelings will last forever.

3. Align with Reality of Change

Instead of constantly fighting against the inherent impermanence and unsatisfactoriness of existence, strive to see these truths clearly and align yourself with them, which is more skillful than perpetual resistance.

4. Leverage Social Support for Anxiety

Actively engage with other people as a crucial tool for dealing with anxiety, as they can be a significant source of alleviation and perspective, even though they can also be a source of anxiety.

5. Share Fears to Uncover Core Wounds

Share your fears and anxieties with trusted friends or a ‘squad’ to gain external perspective, break down the issue, and potentially uncover underlying core wounds or recurring themes that you might not see on your own.

6. Bring Awareness to Your Body

When feeling anxious, bring your awareness to your body to help settle yourself, as the body provides crucial information about your internal state.

7. Check Body & Breath for Information

Pause and check in with the felt sensations in your body and the expression of your breath, as this provides crucial information about what is happening inside you and can help you course-correct.

8. Pause and Observe Anxiety’s Flow

If anxiety arises in the moment, pause, feel into the experience by noticing your breath and body, and observe how the anxiety changes, moves, and eventually dissipates, which can be liberating.

9. Practice Resourcing for Nervous System Regulation

Before entering a new or stressful environment, pause, feel your feet on the ground, and perform a ‘resourcing’ practice by slowly turning your head from side to side, observing colors, shapes, textures, and nature elements to orient yourself and signal safety to your nervous system.

10. Practice Belly Breathing for Calm

To settle the nervous system and avoid exacerbating anxiety, focus your breath low in your belly, placing hands just below the belly button to feel it expand and deflate like a balloon with each inhale and exhale.

11. Use Deep Breaths to Reset

When feeling tense or constricted, take a break to engage in a few full, deep breaths to reset your body, allowing the breath to find more rhythm, flow, and continuity.

12. Cultivate Curiosity About Each Breath

Approach each breath with curiosity, noticing its unique qualities, beginning, middle, and end, and how it changes, rather than expecting it to be constant, which can make breathing a more embodied experience.

13. Expand Breath Awareness

To alleviate tightness and restriction, practice feeling the breath move through your entire body, including your feet and hands, rather than solely focusing on the nostrils.

14. Move Anxious Energy Somatically

Engage in somatic activities like walking, biking, or lifting weights to physically move and process anxious energy through your body before it escalates.

15. Use Somatic Touch for Containment

When feeling anxious or disembodied, place one hand on your forehead and the other on the back of your neck with slight pressure to create a sense of containment and holding, and rest your eyes to enhance internal body awareness.

16. Self-Soothe with Touch and Pep Talk

When experiencing anxiety as tightness in the chest, place a hand on your chest and gently rub it while giving yourself a reassuring pep talk, acknowledging the feeling but reminding yourself that you are capable and making progress.

17. Tap Chest to Break Up Anxiety

When anxiety manifests as a tight mass in the chest, gently tap the center of your chest to help break apart the sensation, allowing you to identify and work with the individual components of the anxiety.

18. Let Ego Take a Back Seat

When anxiety stems from wanting to perform perfectly or say the right thing, recognize it as ego-driven and consciously let your ego take a backseat, remembering that sharing practice doesn’t require perfection.

19. Ask “Can I, But Should I?”

Before committing to new tasks or responsibilities, especially when already busy, ask yourself not just ‘Can I?’ but ‘Should I?’ to ensure you have enough space and capacity for refueling and nourishing your body.

20. Integrate Self-Care into Daily Routine

Make self-care practices, like resourcing, an integral part of your daily rhythm, similar to brushing teeth or having breakfast, especially in high-stress jobs, so they become a foundational part of how you prepare for and move through your workday.

21. Prepare & Shed Stress for High-Stress Work

For high-stress professions, intentionally prepare yourself mentally and emotionally before entering challenging environments, and ritualize the process of letting go and shedding the stress once you leave.

22. Investigate Job for Chronic Breath Issues

If your job consistently causes tightness, constriction, or shortness of breath, investigate whether the work environment can be shifted or transformed, or if it’s no longer the right fit for your health.

23. Listen to Body for Career Changes

Pay attention to your body’s signals to determine if a job or career path is still the right fit, honoring that you move through different seasons in life and may need to grow, transform, or shift your work.

24. Combat Comparison with Shared Humanity

When comparing yourself to others’ seemingly perfect lives, remember that ‘just like me,’ they too experience suffering, challenges, and imperfections, which can foster compassion and reduce self-blame.

25. Let Go of Perfection Delusion

Release the belief that anything or anyone can be perfect, recognizing that perfection is an impossible standard and embracing the reality of shared human experience, including suffering and imperfections.

26. Normalize Anxiety by Speaking About It

Speak openly about your fears and anxieties to normalize these common human experiences, countering the collective failure of hiding the reality of being human and reducing the feeling that ‘something’s broken’ in individuals.

27. Acknowledge & Discuss Collective Trauma

For those impacted by social, collective, and historical traumas (e.g., racism, discrimination), acknowledge, name, and talk about these experiences, leaning on and caring for each other, as continuous dialogue is essential for healing.

28. Find Space Between Anxious Moments

Recognize that even during periods of persistent anxiety, there are always moments or ‘spaces in between’ where there is alleviation or a pause from the feeling, and seek to notice these gaps.

29. Join Challenges for Accountability

Participate in shared challenges, like meditation challenges with friends or family, to foster accountability through mutual notifications and support.

30. Use Laughter for Somatic Release

Incorporate laughter, such as watching stand-up comedy, as a somatic rest strategy to shake and move energy out of your body, providing a sense of replenishment.

31. Engage in Enjoyable Physical Activities

Find and engage in enjoyable physical activities like riding a bike or cooking as personal outlets to nourish and replenish your body and mind.