Regularly pause for a moment, stop, and observe your thinking process without judgment. This practice helps disentangle you from the mind’s content, creating ease, spaciousness, and clarity before moving to the next task.
To combat exhaustion and maintain energy, implement reminders (e.g., watch alarms, after every conversation) to pause a few times (e.g., eight times) throughout your workday. This consistent practice helps regulate your nervous system and fosters well-being.
When experiencing difficult emotions like anxiety, apply the RAIN practice: Recognize the emotion, Allow it to be present, Investigate its component parts (sensations, thoughts), and Non-identify with it (see it as nature) or Nurture yourself with supportive self-talk. This specific way of knowing helps you relate to emotions differently.
Use pausing and awareness to befriend your immediate human experience, whether pleasant or unpleasant. This practice builds your capacity to bear with difficulty and accept reality as it is, rather than trying to replace unpleasant feelings.
Beyond just recognizing an emotion, practice recognizing the ‘knowing mind’ itself, which is the benevolent, holding quality of awareness. Trusting and appreciating this awareness can serve as a place of safety and refuge.
Begin managing workplace conflict by first normalizing its presence and then engaging in self-examination to understand your personal response and style (e.g., withdrawal, confrontation, fixing) based on past experiences. This awareness is crucial for changing your approach.
The main tool for managing conflict is to get your nervous system regulated. Mindfulness practices, such as pausing and observing your feelings, help achieve this regulation, allowing you to approach conflict with more calm and clarity.
In conflict situations, first practice empathy and compassion towards yourself by acknowledging your own pain, fear, or anger with kindness. This softening then allows you to be curious and empathetic about what’s driving the other person’s behavior.
Employ the practice of Non-Violent Communication to clearly identify and name your feelings and needs in conflict situations. This structured approach helps prevent unresolved tension that arises from unmet or ignored needs.
Consciously integrate pauses into your conversations, especially those with potential for conflict, to avoid rushing to make points and instead truly listen. This creates space for resolution to arise and improves the quality of interaction.
Cultivate the practice of watching the mind, observing its constant activity of wanting or not wanting, and its tendency to lean towards the future or past. This observation helps disentangle you from its content and brings you to the present.
As a simple, immediate way to return to the present moment and pause, practice sensing your feet on the floor. This grounding technique can be used whenever you remember throughout the day.
Recognize that the mind often resists pausing, viewing it as a waste of time or difficult. Acknowledging this resistance is part of the practice and helps you work with it rather than being deterred.
Shift your mindset to normalize conflict as a natural and inevitable part of the workplace. This foundational understanding helps reduce anxiety and avoidance, preparing you to engage with it constructively.
Embrace the paradox that being okay with not being okay is the root to being okay. Accept whatever difficult feelings arise, knowing that you will survive them and they are impermanent.