Reframe your understanding of vulnerability from oversharing or weakness to the emotion experienced during uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure, as it is a prerequisite for courage.
Become aware of the ‘armor’ you use to protect yourself from vulnerability, such as perfectionism, cynicism, or control, because these behaviors hinder personal growth and courageous leadership.
Recognize that you can be brave and afraid simultaneously; true courage comes from acting despite fear, rather than succumbing to the need to armor up and avoid discomfort.
Question the societal belief that you are entitled to comfort, as truly meaningful achievements and personal growth often occur outside of comfortable situations.
Practice tolerating and breathing through uncomfortable emotions like pain, disappointment, and grief, instead of avoiding them or externalizing them by causing pain to others.
Actively set and maintain clear boundaries in your relationships, as this vulnerable act prioritizes self-respect and defines what is acceptable, even if it means disappointing others.
Ensure that your acts of vulnerability are always accompanied by clear boundaries, as sharing without boundaries is inappropriate oversharing, not genuine vulnerability.
Be clear and direct in your communication, especially with difficult feedback, because ‘clear is kind’ and allows others to understand expectations and grow, even if it feels vulnerable.
Employ the phrase ‘The story I’m telling myself is…’ to articulate assumptions and clarify misunderstandings, recognizing that your brain creates narratives to self-protect, which may not be accurate.
When receiving difficult feedback, ask clarifying questions and request specific examples to understand how your behavior impacts others and what different actions might look like, fostering genuine growth.
Constantly check and challenge the narratives you tell yourself about your self-worth, especially those based on external validation or others’ perceptions, to build a more accurate and resilient self-concept.
When someone you care about is struggling, especially a child, practice ‘sitting with them in the dark’ by acknowledging their pain and teaching them to feel difficult emotions, rather than immediately trying to fix the problem.
In romantic relationships, remove your emotional ‘armor’ to create a safe space for mutual vulnerability, allowing you to openly share fears and hurts without the need to prove, perfect, or please.
Be vulnerable by openly expressing how much you care about something, even if the outcome is uncertain, as this act of genuine emotional exposure is a profound form of bravery and self-respect.
Cultivate a home environment where ‘awkward, silly, uncool always rules,’ assuring children they have a safe space to express themselves freely without fear of embarrassment, fostering authenticity.
Work diligently towards your goals but cultivate non-attachment to the specific outcomes, understanding that many variables are beyond your control, which can boost resilience and reduce anxiety.
When caught in spirals of rumination or anxiety, ask yourself ‘Is this useful?’ to discern between constructive thought and unproductive worry, helping to redirect your mental energy effectively.
Commit to a formal meditation practice by sitting and focusing on one anchor, like your breath, and repeatedly returning your attention when distracted, to build foundational mindfulness skills.
Incorporate a quiet, rhythmic activity, such as swimming, into your daily routine, using it as a mindfulness practice by focusing on the physical sensations and returning your attention when distracted, to create a mental ‘decompression chamber.’