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Bill Hader on Anxiety, Imposter Syndrome, and Leaning into Discomfort

Dec 29, 2023 1h 2m 33 insights
<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p><em>---</em></p> <p>The star of SNL and Barry discusses how he channels his anxiety into his work. Plus, an imitation of Joseph Goldstein.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Bill Hader has made the transition from being a master of stand-out characters and impressions on eight seasons of <em>Saturday Night Life</em> to becoming a true multi-hyphenate by creating, directing, writing, producing and starring as a burned-out assassin trying to break into Hollywood as an actor in HBO's award-winning and critically lauded dark comedy, <em>Barry</em>.</p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>In this episode we talk about:</strong></p> <p><br /></p> <ul> <li>How Bill deals with anxiety</li> <li>His panic attack on live television</li> <li>His love of directing and the importance of having the right collaborators</li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong><a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.</a><a href="http://tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/bill-hader" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/bill-hader</a></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Additional Resources:</strong></p> <p>Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: <a href="https://10percenthappier.app.link/install" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://10percenthappier.app.link/install</a></p>
Actionable Insights

1. Prioritize Meditation, Exercise, Diet

Consistently engage in meditation, regular exercise, and mindful eating habits, as these practices are known to improve overall well-being and manage anxiety.

2. Cultivate Positive Future Narratives

Actively work on replacing negative, catastrophic predictions about the future with more positive or neutral narratives, especially when supported by practices like meditation and sufficient sleep.

3. Name Anxiety Out Loud

When experiencing a wave of anxiety, verbally label it by saying ‘This is anxiety’ out loud. This practice can help reduce its intensity and duration.

4. Practice Mindfulness for Awareness

Engage in mindfulness meditation by focusing on your breath and being openly aware of physical sensations and emotions, quietly noting them to pinpoint specific feelings. This fosters awareness rather than just relaxation.

5. Remove Narrative from Anxiety

When feeling anxious, remove the narrative (e.g., ‘I’m anxious because I’m late’) and focus purely on the physical sensations of anxiety. This allows you to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.

6. Persist Despite Fear

Continue to pursue your goals and try new things, even when feeling terrified or experiencing imposter syndrome, by focusing on persistence, honest work, and finding good collaborators.

7. Distinguish Constructive Thoughts

Evaluate your thoughts by asking if they are constructive and if you can take action on them. Discard or reframe thoughts that are not actionable or helpful.

8. State Positive Intention in Conflict

When addressing a problem with someone, begin the conversation by explicitly stating your positive intention (e.g., ‘I care about this working relationship’) to foster a constructive dialogue.

9. Reduce Caffeine for Anxiety

If you experience anxiety or panic attacks, significantly reduce or eliminate caffeine consumption, as it can exacerbate these conditions.

10. Combine Mindfulness and Therapy

Integrate mindfulness practices with professional therapy and other supportive activities for a comprehensive approach to mental well-being, rather than relying on a single method.

11. Embrace Foundational Wellness Practices

Overcome social judgment and embrace simple, traditional wellness practices like eating well, stretching, and meditating, acknowledging their proven benefits.

12. Channel Anxiety Into Creativity

Use your anxiety as a fuel or inspiration for creative work, transforming personal struggles into productive output.

13. Accept and Embrace Your Passions

Acknowledge and embrace what genuinely excites you and brings you joy, even if it seems unconventional to others, as this acceptance fuels your drive and satisfaction.

14. Fuel Persistence with Love

Maintain persistence in your endeavors by cultivating and relying on a genuine love for the work itself, which makes challenges feel like ‘fun problems to solve’.

15. Practice Discomfort Tolerance

Deliberately put yourself in uncomfortable situations and cultivate a higher tolerance for discomfort, as an aversion to it is identified as a root cause of anxiety.

16. Use Non-Negotiables for Discomfort

Leverage your personal ’non-negotiables’ (like exercise, hydration, and taking breaks) to build resilience and better cope with uncomfortable situations.

17. Communicate Needs for Stronger Relationships

Practice open and honest communication in uncomfortable relational moments by acknowledging your reactions, apologizing for impact, and clearly stating your needs. This fosters stronger relationships.

18. Choose Collaborators Wisely

Select collaborators carefully, as having the right team is crucial for success and prevents projects from failing or going awry.

19. Create Honest, Authentic Work

Strive to make your creative work honest and authentic, putting more of yourself into it rather than merely imitating others, which enhances its impact and personal value.

20. Challenge Future-Projecting Anxiety

When you find yourself catastrophizing about future events, challenge the thought by bringing yourself back to the present moment, recognizing that the anxiety is often about something that isn’t happening yet.

21. Avoid Reliving Negative Events

Stop creating negative narratives and worrying excessively about potential future problems, as this only makes you experience the negative event twice if it occurs, without making it any easier.

22. Discard Magical Thinking About Worry

Recognize and discard the ‘magical thinking’ that worrying about the worst-case scenario will either prevent it or prepare you for it. Instead, it often leads to experiencing negative emotions twice.

23. Challenge Self-Deprecating Inner Voices

When inner voices tell you you’re a ‘bad person’ or are unconstructive, challenge them by reminding yourself that you are complicated and working through things, focusing instead on what is actionable.

24. Label Anxiety to Reduce Power

Label sensations of anxiety (e.g., ‘anxiety,’ ‘buzzing chest’) in your mind to ‘pixelate’ the feeling, reducing its monolithic power and allowing it to shrink and melt.

25. Develop Humor About Neuroses

View your anxieties and neuroses with a sense of humor and detachment, acknowledging them without getting caught up, rather than expecting meditation to eliminate them entirely.

26. Acknowledge Flaws, Engage Openly

Cultivate a mindset of acknowledging your own imperfections and challenges while still being open and engaging with others, rather than letting self-preoccupation isolate you.

27. Self-Understanding Enhances Creativity

Engage in self-exploration and therapy to understand your inner workings, as this deeper understanding will enhance your creative output rather than diminish it.

28. Acknowledge and Vocalize Feelings

When a difficult thought or feeling arises, acknowledge it and vocalize it (e.g., ‘I’m nervous’) to release it rather than holding it in, which helps to process and move past it.

29. Lead Effectively as a Boss

As a leader, recognize that your team needs a boss and a leader, not just a friend. Adjust your behavior to maintain appropriate boundaries and ensure your actions are not misinterpreted.

30. Gradually Reduce Caffeine Intake

When reducing caffeine intake, do so gradually rather than going cold turkey to avoid severe withdrawal symptoms.

31. Don’t Be Swayed by Opinions

As you mature, learn to disregard others’ opinions about your passions or choices, recognizing that differences in preference are normal and should not induce self-doubt.

32. Counter Anticipatory Anxiety

When anticipatory anxiety leads to frantic thoughts about future tasks, consciously tell yourself to ‘relax’ and avoid getting caught in negative narratives about immediate obligations.

33. Maintain Daily Wellness Non-Negotiables

Create and adhere to a personal list of daily ’non-negotiables’ (like meditating, exercising, writing, engaging with art) that consistently improve your well-being.