Refrain from treating others with contempt (mockery, eye-rolling, smirking, snark) during disagreements, as this makes productive conversation impossible and creates permanent enemies.
When negative emotions like contempt arise, or positive ones like love are absent, consciously act as if you feel the desired emotion (e.g., warmheartedness) to scientifically influence your brain and foster genuine change.
View instances where others treat you with contempt as an opportunity to express warmheartedness, which can change your own heart, make you happier, and potentially influence the other person.
Recognize that those who disagree with you are not enemies but ‘brothers and sisters,’ and therefore, there is no reason not to love them, fostering greater solidarity.
Engage in conversation with everyone, avoiding deplatforming, closing off, or disparaging others based on preconceived notions, as peace and justice require broad communication.
Actively seek out disagreement as an opportunity to test your own ideas and learn if you are wrong first, rather than siloing yourself with like-minded individuals.
In disagreements, strive for an outcome where all parties, including those you disagree with, achieve some satisfaction, recognizing that society functions better when everyone walks away happy.
When someone is driving you nuts in a disagreement, ask yourself how you would want them to act toward you if the roles were reversed, and then behave that way towards them.
Actively seek out and cultivate friendships with people who hold different political or ideological views, and ask them to help you understand their perspectives, as this is an ‘unbelievably enriching’ experience.
Instead of passively consuming opposing media (which can reinforce biases), cultivate relationships with friends who hold different views and ask them to curate and explain what they hear, opening up new worlds of understanding.
Actively seek out and advocate for workplaces and social environments that value and include ideological diversity, recognizing its importance for improved experiences and broader perspectives.
In the second half of life, shift your focus from activities that primarily use fluid intelligence (innovation, cognitive speed) to those that leverage crystallized intelligence (wisdom, accumulated knowledge), becoming a mentor or instructor to pass on your knowledge.
Understand that happiness comes from the process of progress and moving toward your potential, not solely from achieving an end goal; relish the striving itself.
Approach your goals with clear intention, but cultivate detachment from the specific outcome or achievement, recognizing that the innate satisfaction comes from the progress and trajectory.
Recognize the evolutionary illusion that achievements bring greater, longer-lasting happiness than they do; understanding this ‘dukkha’ or dissatisfaction can free you from attachment to outcomes and reduce suffering.
Cultivate the same joy and appreciation for your own progress and development that you naturally feel when observing a child’s milestones, focusing on the journey rather than just the destination.
Engage in a ‘beautiful war with yourself’ by resisting biological imperatives (like seeking only money, power, pleasure, fame) that do not align with true happiness, thereby gaining mastery over your impulses.
Live a good life by prioritizing loving people and using things, rather than the inverse, which is presented as the road to happiness.
In areas of life where hypotheses are non-testable, choose to suspend disbelief for what you deem good, true, and right, embracing the mystery of faith with humility.
Meditate every day with sincerity and passion, as consistent and disciplined practice is key to becoming more peaceful and closer to truth.
Prioritize important practices (like faith or exercise) by setting aside dedicated time for them daily, understanding that discipline is key to achieving mastery and preventing them from being crowded out.
Practice single-point meditation in the morning to center yourself better for the day, if your schedule allows, as it can help focus your thoughts and attain greater peace.
On social media, respond to contempt with warmheartedness to improve your inner life and disengage from the ‘contempt mill’ of negative interactions.
Utilize the ‘Hard Conversations’ meditation by Jessica Morey on the 10% Happier app before engaging in difficult discussions to prepare yourself.