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Anxious? Confused? Powerless? A Four-Part Recipe for Staying Centered From a Buddhist Nun. | Ayya Anandabodhi

Jul 30, 2025 1h 5m 27 insights
<p dir="ltr">Reclaim your power from the news, booze, shopping, or denial.</p> <p dir="ltr"><a href="https://parayanavihara.org/monastic-community/">Ayya Anandabodhi</a> is the spiritual director of <a href="https://parayanavihara.org/">Pārāyana Vihāra</a>, a monastic residence in Port Townsend, WA. She was raised in Wales, in the UK, and first encountered Buddhism in her early teens and began training as a nun at age 24. You can listen to some of her <a href="https://dharmaseed.org/teacher/379/">Dharma talks, here</a>. </p> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">In this episode we talk about:</p> <ul> <li dir="ltr">What centering means – and how to do it in the midst of chaos or calamity (Including some very practical tips)</li> <li dir="ltr">The difference between centering vs equanimity </li> <li dir="ltr">How to break out of old patterns </li> <li dir="ltr">The power of pausing</li> <li dir="ltr">How anger is justified, but it doesn't help</li> <li dir="ltr">A quick but deep dive into the Four Noble truths, a foundational Buddhist list</li> <li dir="ltr">We tackle the tricky topic of "true nature"</li> <li dir="ltr">We talk about the vital role of that treacly and often misunderstood term, compassion</li> </ul> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Join Dan's online community <a href="http://www.danharris.com/">here</a></p> <p dir="ltr">Follow Dan on social: <a href="https://bit.ly/3tGigG5">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://bit.ly/3FOA84J">TikTok</a></p> <p dir="ltr">Subscribe to our <a href="https://bit.ly/3FybRzD">YouTube Channel</a></p> <p><strong id="docs-internal-guid-b7295563-7fff-53bf-5ccb-06ac643b057d"><br /> To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit <a href="https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris">https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris</a></strong></p>
Actionable Insights

1. Feel Feelings Fully

Instead of self-medicating or running from difficult feelings, allow yourself to feel them completely, let them pass, and then make a sane decision, responding rather than reacting. This counterintuitive approach is a recipe for becoming happier.

2. Reclaim Personal Agency

Actively work to prevent losing your personal power and agency, especially in chaotic times, as reconnecting with your own strength and body is crucial.

3. Turn Towards Unpleasant Feelings

Confront unpleasant feelings directly, recognizing them as transient sensations that will change and eventually end, rather than allowing fear to magnify them in your mind.

4. Observe Habitual Reactions’ Outcomes

When you find yourself repeating old patterns, observe the entire process and its repercussions to understand if it leads to freedom or further entanglement, motivating a change in behavior.

5. Cultivate Zeal for Practice

Cultivate “chanda,” a positive desire or zeal to transform old patterns and get out of difficult situations, like an elephant hauling itself out of mud.

6. Pause When Angry

When caught in anger, take a deliberate pause for a moment to prevent acting impulsively and creating further harm or chaos.

7. Center in Body & Present

When anxiety arises, find centering in your body and the present moment, such as feeling your feet on the ground and acknowledging your breath, to create a context for the uncomfortable feeling.

8. Connect with Nature Daily

Spend time in nature, such as standing barefoot on the earth or looking at the sky, to reconnect with your true nature and experience a positive shift.

9. Practice Belly Breathing

To counter stress and anxiety, take conscious, deep breaths by placing a hand on your belly and breathing down into it, softening the diaphragm and promoting a sense of connection.

10. Ground Through Your Feet

When feeling anxious or ungrounded, bring your awareness down into your feet, feeling their contact with the ground to find presence and stability.

11. Confront Feared Situations

Instead of avoiding situations that trigger difficult feelings like panic, consciously choose to face them, allowing the feelings to arise and pass, thereby empowering yourself.

12. Observe Thoughts Without Following

Practice pausing to feel a feeling and recognize a thought as merely a thought, without immediately following or acting upon it, to avoid negative consequences.

13. Reflect on Pattern Outcomes

Reflect on the outcomes of your habitual patterns in life to discern if they lead to freedom or entanglement, using this insight to motivate change.

14. Recognize Being Stuck to Motivate

Acknowledge when you are “stuck in the mud” of old patterns or suffering, as this recognition can serve as a powerful incentive for “chanda” (zeal) to arise and motivate change.

15. Clear Out Mental Clutter

Engage in the “tedious and dirty work” of clearing out mental and emotional clutter, such as regrets or unaddressed issues, to create useful inner space.

16. Stand Under Dukkha

To understand suffering (dukkha), allow yourself to fully experience it, “stand under it,” and be “drenched by it,” rather than trying to escape.

17. Use Centering as an Anchor

Utilize centering in your body and the present moment as an anchor, providing a stable place from which to experience and observe whatever is happening.

18. Cultivate Compassion for All

Actively cultivate compassion for yourself and others, striving to understand the inherent struggles of being a human being, even for those who are difficult.

19. Repair Damaged Relationships

Actively repair damaged relationships by acknowledging faults and apologizing, either directly to individuals or in your heart for those you cannot contact, to clear remorse and inner burdens.

20. Befriend the Truth of Death

Embrace the truth that your body and personality will eventually die, befriending this reality to diminish fear and find liberation.

21. Embrace Death to Be Fearless

Cultivate an acceptance of death, as befriending this ultimate truth can lead to a state of fearlessness.

22. Lose Self in Allness

Experience relief by letting go of the isolated “person story” and recognizing your interconnectedness with “the allness of everything,” moving beyond individual struggle.

23. Allow True Nature to Live

By letting go of the “little person story” and identifying with your true nature, you allow qualities like presence, clarity, compassion, and wisdom to manifest more fully through you.

24. Gain Cosmic Perspective

Step out of human-made environments to look at the night sky and contemplate the vastness of the cosmos, using this perspective to reframe personal concerns and gain a sense of equanimity.

25. View Madness Through Venus’ Lens

Adopt a broader, detached perspective, like viewing “earthbound madness through the lens of Venus,” to gain distance and clarity on overwhelming situations.

26. Dantian Hand-Hold Meditation

For grounding, hold your left thumb with your right hand, wrap your right hand around your left, place them on your dantian (below the navel), and connect your breath to this spot. Practice this daily for 5-20 minutes to build centeredness.

27. Practice Pausing Meditation

To improve the radical skill of pausing and responding instead of reacting, utilize guided meditations specifically tailored to this practice, available at danharris.com.