Actively embrace discomfort, especially when engaging with difficult issues and conversations, as it is a necessary and good time for growth and understanding.
Shift your focus away from seeking personal comfort and instead allow discomfort to be centered in discussions about deeply impactful issues, as owning and embracing it is part of the work for everyone.
Continuously drop back into your body to check for sensations of fear, discomfort, or tendencies to shut down, as the body tells the truth about what’s happening and helps prevent the mind from bypassing reality.
Engage in self-awareness practices, such as connecting with the body, at a level that is appropriate for your individual trauma history and current capacity, acknowledging that even minimal engagement is valid and beneficial.
Be willing to confront and experience pain and discomfort, as this process is necessary to understand, release, and heal from past wounds, ultimately reducing harm for oneself and others.
Cultivate a belief in achieving freedom through discomfort, understanding that engaging with and releasing hidden, repressed experiences, though challenging, leads to greater authenticity and liberation.
Aim for the state of ‘being okay’ in your personal practice, defining it as the ability to manage what arises, experience safety, and make choices, recognizing it as a profound and hard-won achievement.
Actively build and maintain relationships with people from different backgrounds, especially Black individuals, to foster an equitable society and ensure continued engagement with important social issues beyond news cycles.
Commit to self-education by reading and studying the historical foundations and perpetuation of systems in America, particularly concerning race, to understand current events and how to undo them.
Intentionally practice bringing your mind and awareness back to social realities, similar to how one returns to an anchor in meditation, to counteract the tendency to bypass difficult truths and foster deeper understanding.
Engage in and model conversations around difficult issues, particularly those involving centuries of conditioning, to foster better understanding and relation between different groups.
Before sharing personal struggles related to race with Black friends, ask for their consent to ensure they are resourced and able to hold that space, making the conversation easier for both parties.
Initiate conversations by asking ‘How are you?’ or ‘How is your heart?’ to check in with others, fostering empathy and determining if they are able to engage in deeper, more vulnerable discussions.
When someone shares something vulnerable, pause to check in with your own feelings and body sensations, rather than immediately intellectualizing or interrogating their experience.
When strong discomfort arises in difficult conversations, lean into it rather than getting distracted or shutting down, as this builds trust and is crucial for addressing ingrained conditioning.
When engaging in anti-racism work, continue to embrace discomfort and avoid seeking praise or ‘cookies,’ as this work is ongoing and requires vigilance against elusive conditioning.
After receiving acknowledgment for engaging in difficult work, do not disengage and return to comfort, as this work is continuous and requires sustained effort beyond initial steps.
Work to train the mind, as an untrained mind can become an ’enemy of liberation’ by shutting down the body’s truth and preventing engagement with uncomfortable realities.
White individuals must actively undertake the work of ‘undoing whiteness,’ as this specific conditioning in the American context can only be disrupted by those who experience it.
Develop a practice of assuming that people are doing the best they can in any given moment, which fosters empathy and prevents harsh judgments.
Actively share personal stories, including formative childhood experiences, to foster understanding and liberation, helping others grasp the roots of individual struggles and behaviors.
When faced with behaviors or viewpoints you disagree with, especially from groups like protestors, actively wonder about the underlying pain that drives their actions, fostering a more compassionate understanding.
Before initiating difficult or emotionally taxing conversations, ask the other person if they are sufficiently ‘resourced’ to engage, ensuring their participation is voluntary and not driven by external pressures.