← 10% Happier with Dan Harris

Adam Shankman

Jun 8, 2016 41m 15s 20 insights
Acclaimed movie producer and director Adam Shankman is best known for his upbeat, family-friendly movies, including "Hairspray," "A Walk to Remember" and "The Pacifier," but behind the scenes, Shankman says he spent years grappling with substance abuse and self-loathing. Growing up in Hollywood, Shankman, who is openly gay, remembers being "an incredibly happy kid." But when he was three years old, he says, his parents set him up with a doctor who was doing a study on sexual identity. Unbeknownst to his parents at the time, Shankman says he was placed in "conversion therapy." When he was a teen, Shankman turned to alcohol and later drugs to quiet the "ugly voice" in his head. In 2012, Shankman says, he entered a "really dark" place and the following year checked himself into a month-long rehab program -- where he discovered meditation.
Actionable Insights

1. Reject Victimhood Mentality

Actively work to shed any sense of victimhood, even if it has historically influenced your self-perception, as this shift can empower you and reveal your true, positive self.

2. Take Responsibility for Shame

Recognize when you are holding onto shame from past experiences, even when evidence proves it untrue, as it can become enmeshed in your identity and prevent growth.

3. Address Core Psychological Blockages

Engage in therapy or self-reflection to deal with critical issues and blockages, as their disintegration can open you up to self-acceptance and make practices like meditation more effective.

4. Embrace Meditation for Well-being

Consider meditation, especially if recommended during recovery or challenging times, as it can help quiet critical internal voices and foster a sense of being “okay.”

5. Practice Daily Gratitude

Incorporate morning and evening rituals to start your day with gratitude and focus on positive aspects, affirming that you are lucky to be alive, as this practice is effective in improving well-being.

6. Seek Professional Help for Addiction

If struggling with addiction, consider checking into rehab for a month to understand the root causes and develop coping mechanisms, as it can lead to lasting sobriety and happiness.

7. Understand Addiction’s True Goal

Recognize if your substance use aims for obliteration rather than relaxation, as this clarity can help maintain sobriety when the desire to obliterate no longer appeals.

8. Trust Your Instincts in Work

Do not shut down your instincts or do things you feel are wrong, especially in work, as ignoring them can lead to negative outcomes and self-disappointment.

9. Be Open to New Practices

Adopt a mindset of willingness to try any recommended practice to feel better, especially during challenging times, as this openness can lead to significant personal growth.

10. Establish Regular Meditation Schedule

Meditate every morning for 15-20 minutes, adjusting duration to avoid falling asleep, and supplement with shorter meditations throughout the day during breaks or when feeling agitated.

11. Meditate Anywhere, Anytime

Practice short meditations (e.g., 5 minutes) in unexpected places like a cab by closing your eyes, focusing on your breathing, and going inward, to release stress and maintain calm throughout the day.

12. Incorporate Visualization Practices

Engage in visualization techniques, often focusing on radiating positive light or unearthing inner goodness, to help dissolve self-loathing and foster self-kindness.

13. Try Intense Breathing Techniques

Explore rapid, continuous breathing exercises to induce altered states, unblock emotions, and gain self-awareness through intense imagery and oxygen flow to the brain.

14. Choose Appropriate Coping Mechanisms

When feeling overwhelmed or “freaking out,” consider alternative calming activities like exercise or watching a comforting show before attempting meditation, as it may be more effective.

15. Use Deep Breathing for Stress Relief

When feeling overwhelmed, take three giant deep breaths with big exhales to quickly regulate your body and bring down your stress level.

16. Monitor News Consumption

Be aware that constant exposure to the news cycle can create agitation and stress, and actively monitor your intake to prevent it from becoming a problem.

17. Utilize Guided Meditation Apps

If new to meditation or needing structure, use guided meditation apps, as they provide accessible support and can be a consistent part of your practice.

18. Encourage and Support Others

When in a position of evaluation or mentorship, focus on encouraging and supporting individuals rather than judging them, speaking to them as you wished someone had spoken to you.

19. Redefine “Dancing” for Expression

Understand that dancing is about physical expression and losing yourself in music, not organized steps; allow yourself to jump, flail, and move without self-consciousness to unlock your body.

20. Try Skydiving for Breakthrough

Consider skydiving to push past survival instincts and experience exhilaration, as the act of overcoming fear and surrendering control can cleanse your brain and instill a belief that you can achieve anything.