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A Wise and Counterintuitive Way to Meditate in a Crisis | Lama Rod Owens

Jan 11, 2021 1h 5m 28 insights
If you're either seething or scared — or both — in the aftermath of the attack on the US Capitol, this one's for you. In times of national and international strife, we've made it a habit of turning to Lama Rod Owens. Rod was officially recognized as a lama by the Kagyu school of Tibetan Buddhism after doing a three-year retreat. He has a Master of Divinity degree from Harvard. And he has written several books, including his newest, which is called Love and Rage. In this conversation, which we recorded just yesterday, we talk about how to work with the anger and fear many of us are feeling right now. We also talk about how to communicate with people with whom we disagree; how to strategically divest from people and technologies that are depleting us (rather than self-medicating with distraction); and why the most important way to play a constructive role right now — although this may be counterintuitive for some people — is to start with yourself. Where to find Lama Rod Owens online:  Website: https://www.lamarod.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/LamaRod1 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lamarod/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lamarodowens/ Book Mentioned: Love and Rage: The Path of Liberation Through Anger by Lama Rod Owens https://bookshop.org/books/love-and-rage-the-path-of-liberation-through-anger-9781623174095/9781623174095 Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/lama-rod-314
Actionable Insights

1. Start With Yourself

To play a constructive role in any situation, begin by focusing on your own internal state and well-being, as this is the most important starting point for influence.

2. Practice During Good Times

Cultivate and strengthen your self-awareness and emotional regulation practices diligently during periods of calm, so that when a crisis hits, you can naturally fall back on your training rather than being swept away.

3. Acknowledge Dysregulation

When experiencing strong emotions like anger or fear, notice the feeling of dysregulation without judgment or the belief that you ‘should be better,’ and instead commit to showing up to what is arising.

4. Prioritize Basic Self-Care

During overwhelming times, ensure you are doing fundamental self-care activities such as drinking water, eating food, taking breaks, resting, and disconnecting from news and social media to create space for self-nurturing.

5. Reach Out for Connection

When feeling alienated, alone, or disconnected, actively reach out to friends or loved ones and ask for help to find grounding and prevent narratives from spinning out of control.

6. Disrupt Reactivity

Consciously interrupt patterns of overreacting to experiences, which allows you to access a sense of spaciousness and clarity around what is happening.

7. Practice ‘Touching the Earth’

To ground yourself, physically connect with something solid like the floor or the actual earth, or internally by touching your body, noticing the sensation of your seat, or focusing on your breath, to anchor yourself in the present moment.

8. Protect Your Energy

Actively safeguard your finite physical and psychic energy by being mindful of what you invest in, as this is crucial for sustaining important aspects of your life like relationships.

9. Strategically Divest from Depleting Inputs

Consciously step back from people, technologies, or activities that drain your energy and do not offer replenishment, making hard choices to preserve your well-being.

10. Set Boundaries with Compassion

While practicing self-compassion and compassion for others, assert your right to set clear boundaries and articulate how others’ beliefs or actions impact your wellness.

11. Offer Space to Anger

Instead of trying to contain anger, allow it ample space to be present in your experience, focusing on disrupting your reactivity to it rather than suppressing the emotion itself.

12. Channel Anger into Wisdom

Experience your anger fully without reacting to it, which allows you to gather wisdom and data from its energy, enabling you to channel it constructively.

13. Address Underlying Hurt

Look beneath the surface of anger to touch into the woundedness, heartbreak, and trauma that may be fueling it, both in yourself and in others.

14. Apply Anger Practices to Fear

Approach fear with the same practices used for anger, offering it spaciousness, disrupting reactivity, and experiencing it fully to gain clarity and wisdom.

15. Mourn Unchangeable Realities

Allow yourself to touch into grief, sadness, and sorrow for things that you wish were different but know will not change, accepting the reality of situations beyond your control.

16. Show Up with Love and Clarity

Engage with others, even those with whom you disagree, in a loving, clear, and direct manner without condoning harmful actions, and avoid aggressive communication that can create defensiveness.

17. Encourage Others to Be With Hurt

Promote liberation and change by inviting people to genuinely experience their underlying hurts and providing care as they do so, which can disrupt reactivity to anger and frustration.

18. Accept Not Everyone Will Change

Recognize and accept that some individuals may not have the capacity or resources to alter their deeply held beliefs or behaviors, and that this outcome must be okay.

19. Use Mindfulness Check-in Questions

When checking in with yourself or others during difficult times, ask questions about your physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual state to return to the present moment.

20. Reflect on Daily Energy Investment

Each day, consciously ask yourself what you should be focusing on, investing your energy in, and what is truly important to ensure your efforts align with your values and well-being.

21. Communicate Boundaries Effectively

Clearly inform others about your availability and pace, such as stating you are not always accessible by text or email, to reclaim agency over your energy and time.

22. Question ‘Business as Usual’

After experiencing traumatic events, challenge the societal pressure to immediately return to normal, advocating for time and space to collectively process the experience.

23. Develop Language for Suffering

Actively seek to understand and articulate your mental and physical suffering, using tools and spaces to process it individually and collaboratively within communities.

24. Extend Compassion to Others

Reflect on the idea that many people around you are experiencing similar discomfort and are doing their best with their current understanding, fostering an open heart and sensitivity.

25. Articulate Impact of Beliefs

Engage in clear conversations about how different beliefs intersect and impact each other’s wellness, moving beyond discomfort to discuss how beliefs create realities that affect well-being.

26. Think Generationally for Change

Recognize that systemic change is a long-term process and invest in working with younger generations and children to instill values that can build a more equitable and compassionate society over decades.

27. Educate and Divest from Privilege

For white individuals, take responsibility to educate yourselves on white supremacy, engage in difficult conversations, and actively divest from systems that grant automatic privilege to disrupt existing realities.

28. Claim Emotions for Agency

Practice self-identifying and claiming your emotions, such as anger, to establish a sense of agency over them, which paradoxically allows you to then let them go more freely.