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A Thing Most Men Won't Talk About | Aaron Flores

Apr 18, 2022 1h 1m 21 insights
<p><em>New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.</em></p> <p>---</p> <p>Why is it that many men seem unenthusiastic about discussing body image issues? </p> <p><br /></p> <p>We take a deep dive into this topic with Aaron Flores, a Los Angeles-based registered dietician and nutritionist, and one of the few men very active in the space of intuitive eating. Aaron talks about how capitalism ties our weight to our worthiness, and his notion that "our body is not a project." </p> <p><br /></p> <p>In this episode we also discuss: </p> <ul> <li>What intuitive eating is</li> <li>How men experience body image issues, and why they often don't talk about it </li> <li>The relationship between diet culture and capitalism </li> <li>What "health at every size" means and why it's sometimes controversial</li> <li>Guidelines for parents </li> <li>The role of self-compassion when it comes to food </li> </ul> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/aaron-flores-441" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/aaron-flores-441</a></p> <p><br /></p>
Actionable Insights

1. Care for Your Body

Shift your mindset from viewing your body as a project that needs fixing to seeing it as something that needs care, focusing on well-being rather than correction.

2. Apply Intuitive Eating Principles

Grant yourself unconditional permission to eat, eat for physical rather than emotional reasons, rely on internal hunger and fullness cues, and practice body-food congruence by noticing how food makes you feel without emotional noise.

3. Choose Joyful Movement

Select forms of physical movement that you genuinely enjoy and that feel good to you, rather than what you ‘should’ do, as enjoyment makes it sustainable long-term.

4. Broaden Self-Care

Expand self-care beyond just food and exercise to include stress and anxiety management, meaningful connection with others, joyful movement, and mindful eating (being present with flavor and texture).

5. Embrace Imperfection

Practice self-compassion by acknowledging that you are doing the best you can with the tools you have, letting go of the pursuit of perfection, and recognizing that progress is a process with good and bad days.

6. Nurture Compassionate Inner Voice

Actively work to quiet your unhelpful inner critic and intentionally nurture a new, compassionate inner voice, giving it greater space in your dialogue about your body and experiences.

7. Listen to Body for Movement

Discard tracking devices like Apple Watches or Fitbits and instead listen to your body’s internal cues to determine when you’ve had enough movement for the day, fostering contentment without external validation.

8. Set Boundaries on Food Talk

Set clear boundaries with friends and family by stating that you prefer not to discuss diets, weight loss, or body image, and instead focus on deeper conversations.

9. Find Empathetic Support

Seek out one or two close friends who can offer empathy and hold space for your struggles without trying to fix them, as this kind of support is crucial for healing.

10. Protect Self from Body Scrutiny

Set boundaries to limit exposure to intense scrutiny or negativity around body image, as this can foster greater self-compassion and protect your own well-being.

11. Practice Gratitude in Exercise

When exercising, especially if pushing too hard, drop a word like ‘gratitude’ into your mind to appreciate your working body and find delight in movement, rather than focusing solely on performance metrics.

12. Learn from Eating Episodes

Instead of self-criticism after periods of mindless eating, adopt a self-compassionate attitude by asking ‘What did I learn from that?’ and recognize that you can start over immediately.

13. Nurture Kids’ Intuitive Eating

Nurture your children’s innate ability to eat intuitively by giving them space to learn when and how much to eat, understanding that they will go through phases and need to build these skills.

14. Foster Body Diversity Acceptance

Create a home environment where all body types are loved and respected, embracing body diversity and avoiding negative comments about your own or others’ bodies.

15. Monitor Body Talk Around Kids

Be highly cognizant of how you talk about your own body and others’ bodies, as children internalize these messages; avoid using negative or ‘weaponized’ language about body size or appearance.

16. Division of Responsibility in Feeding

Adopt Ellen Satter’s ‘division of responsibility’ by providing varied foods at mealtime, allowing your child to choose what and how much they eat from what’s offered, and avoiding comments or pressure.

17. Validate Children’s Emotions

As a parent, break the cycle of emotional suppression by teaching your children that all their emotions (anger, sadness, joy, fear) are valid and should be cherished and expressed, not bottled up.

18. Acknowledge Weight Bias in Parenting

Recognize and address your own biases and fears about your child’s weight gain, as these can significantly influence your approach to food and body image within the home.

19. Model Self-Correction to Children

Model self-compassion by circling back with your children when you’ve mishandled a situation or made a negative comment about your body, explaining that you are learning and trying to do better.

20. Recognize Shared Struggle

Foster self-compassion by recognizing that your struggles with body image or discomfort are not isolated; share your experiences to connect with others who understand.

21. Challenge Masculine Norms

Recognize that traditional masculinity often discourages expressing raw feelings, leading to silence around body image issues; challenge this by creating safe spaces for vulnerability.