Engage in forgiveness as a process that involves shifting your identity from a small, separate self to a sense of interconnectedness, recognizing yourself as part of a larger whole.
Actively tend to your own heart to prevent unforgivable things or grudges from colonizing and taking over your emotional well-being.
Exercise your human capacity to choose your heart and spirit, maintaining a noble and joyful disposition regardless of external circumstances or difficulties.
Approach forgiveness not merely as a concept, but as a set of actionable practices and trainings that can be learned and applied to change your heart and mind.
Grasp that true forgiveness involves clearly seeing and acknowledging the harm, not condoning it, and actively working to prevent its continuation to protect yourself and others.
After clearly seeing harm and taking all necessary steps to prevent its continuation, engage in the inner act of forgiveness by beginning to let go of the grudge.
Engage in forgiveness as a gradual process, offering or extending it a little at a time, as this repetition softens deep-seated pain and opens the heart.
Begin a forgiveness meditation by honestly reflecting on the ways you have knowingly or unknowingly hurt or harmed other people.
After reflecting on harm caused, inwardly ask for forgiveness from those you’ve hurt, acknowledging your own pain, confusion, and struggles as contributing factors.
Extend forgiveness to yourself for the ways you have knowingly or unknowingly caused yourself pain or harm, acknowledging your own confusion, fear, and anger.
Reflect on ways others have hurt you, recognizing their actions often stem from their own pain and confusion, and then, to the extent you are ready, begin to offer them forgiveness.
When practicing forgiveness, begin with situations or people that most naturally open your heart, rather than immediately tackling the most difficult ones.
Practice forgiveness because it is in your own self-interest to live a life of well-being and tend to your heart, rather than being trapped in the past by grudges.
Understand that holding a grudge primarily harms yourself, like taking poison, and therefore actively work to release them for your own well-being.
To prevent passing on a legacy of bitterness, consciously choose not to speak ill of others, especially in front of children, regardless of personal hurt.
To break cycles of hatred and revenge, be the one to acknowledge past wrongs and consciously choose to stop the dynamic from continuing.
Cultivate empathy by reflecting on how, under similar circumstances or conditions, you might have acted in the same way as those who have harmed you.
Strive to understand the ‘secret history’ or underlying struggles of those who have caused you harm, as this insight can foster enough compassion to open your heart.
Regularly reflect on the profound benefits and transformative power of living with a loving heart, recalling times when you felt most in love or connected.
Deliberately change your ‘channel of consciousness’ to approach yourself and others with more tender, compassionate eyes, transforming your experience of interactions.
Actively practice compassion and loving kindness to cultivate a state where you can reside in these qualities more often, even amidst life’s difficulties.
Practice mindfulness to stay more present in your life, preventing your mind from dwelling excessively on past or future thoughts, thereby experiencing life more fully.
Actively engage in inner practices, such as forgiveness meditation, to embody and live out universal values like compassion and respect that are central to human traditions.
Allow yourself to engage in honorable grieving, fully feeling the pain, suffering, or tears associated with past hurts as a part of the forgiveness process.
Reflect deeply on your own heart and sense the suffering that arises from holding onto a lack of forgiveness, whether for yourself or for others.
Practice forgiveness by letting go of the desire or hope for the past to have been different, accepting what has occurred.
Recognize that forgiveness is not about condoning past actions, being a pushover, or subjecting yourself to mistreatment, but rather an act of strength for your own heart.
Understand that forgiving someone does not necessitate resuming contact with them; protecting yourself may mean maintaining distance, even from family members.
Avoid completely shutting others out of your heart, even those who have caused harm, as doing so ultimately closes your own heart.
Cultivate forgiveness and the ability to return love for hatred, recognizing these as heroic and brave acts that demonstrate inner strength.
Recognize that there are times when you need to be strong, assert yourself, and even express anger to stand up for yourself and protect your boundaries.
When standing up for yourself or others, practice doing so with courage, strength, and love, ensuring your actions are rooted in compassion to reduce suffering for all involved.
When facing challenging situations, such as a difficult divorce, prioritize your protection by securing competent legal representation.
Actively seek out relationships or practices that allow you to be seen and accepted for who you truly are, with deep eyes of love, as this experience can be life-changing.
Reflect on the quality of your day and life when your heart is closed off, holding grudges, and caught in fear, to understand the personal cost of unforgiveness.