Cultivate self-compassion towards your behaviors instead of judgment, as it acts as a catalyst for change by opening up hope and possibility.
Approach your own behaviors with curiosity rather than judgment, as this mindset creates an opening for hope and possibility, leading to a changed relationship with the substance or activity.
Approach habit change by focusing on positive emotions and empowering yourself through education to alter your desire for the habit, making change feel effortless.
To achieve total freedom from a habit, systematically deconstruct your beliefs about the substance/activity itself, societal expectations surrounding it, and your deepest beliefs about yourself in relation to it.
Recognize that deep-seated habits often serve as a means to medicate, numb, or escape underlying pain or issues; addressing these root causes is crucial for lasting change.
Make a list of all your conscious and subconscious reasons for engaging in a habit, then rigorously investigate whether these perceived benefits are scientifically or experientially true.
Recognize that addictive behaviors trigger an artificially high dopamine response, which the brain misinterprets as essential for survival, fostering self-compassion by reframing addiction as a brain mechanism.
Refrain from setting absolute “never again” rules for habits, as the brain tends to rebel against such ultimatums and may increase desire for the forbidden item.
Commit to treating yourself with compassion and curiosity even if you continue the habit, as this radical acceptance frees up mental capacity for learning and change.
Educate yourself on the full, long-term, and cascading effects (second-order consequences) of engaging in a habit, beyond immediate gratification, to make more informed decisions.
Design personal experiments to objectively observe and record the actual experience of engaging in a habit, especially when not coupled with other enjoyable activities, to truly assess if it delivers the perceived benefits.
When engaging in tempting behaviors, practice mindfulness and curiosity to truly assess if the experience is enjoyable or beneficial, rather than consuming quickly to avoid guilt.
Before engaging in a habit, pause and ask yourself, “What do I need right now?” or “Is this the kind move for my body?” to engage self-compassion and make conscious choices.
Instead of viewing setbacks as “relapses” or “failures,” reframe them as “data points” from which to learn, fostering a continuous learning journey rather than shame that might lead to further negative behavior.
Be aware of the “what the hell effect,” where a single slip can lead to extended overindulgence due to feelings of shame or broken streaks, and counter it with self-compassion and learning.
If aiming for moderation, consider an initial period of abstinence from the substance or activity, as it is often difficult to transition directly from regular use to occasional use.
For those aiming for moderation, establish “non-negotiables” (lines you refuse to cross) and “lengthening strategies” (periods of abstinence if a non-negotiable is broken) to reset and learn, while maintaining self-compassion.