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A More Relaxed Way to Meditate | Alexis Santos

Sep 8, 2021 55m 32s 17 insights
A common problem among type-A people is trying to win at meditation. But the practice doesn't work like that. If you over-effort, if you try to make something happen, it's pretty much guaranteed not to happen. What is guaranteed is that you will suffer. Meditation is like a video game where you can't move forward if you want to move forward too badly.  Our guest today is Alexis Santos, who has been practicing meditation for twenty years and was a student of the highly influential Burmese monk Sayadaw U Tejaniya. Alexis is also a core teacher in the Ten Percent Happier app and the lead teacher of our On the Go course. In this episode, Alexis recounts his time learning from Sayadaw and shares an approach to meditation that is more relaxed than what many of us may be used to. It just might change your practice. Watch Season 2 of Ted Lasso on Apple TV+. Subscription required. Apple TV+ and/or select content may not be available in all regions. To join the Ted Lasso Challenge by midnight tonight, download the Ten Percent Happier app here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/alexis-santos-377
Actionable Insights

1. Avoid Over-Efforting in Meditation

Do not try too hard or push for a specific outcome in meditation, as over-efforting is counterproductive and can lead to suffering because the practice doesn’t work by force.

2. Focus on Mind’s Attitude

Recognize that the way you observe a meditation object (e.g., breath, sensation) is more important than the object itself; cultivate an understanding of the nature of awareness.

3. Check Mind’s Attitude Regularly

During meditation, periodically ask yourself, ‘What’s the attitude in the mind right now?’ to observe if you are wanting something to happen or stop happening.

4. Ask ‘Are You Aware?’ Lightly

Regularly ask yourself, ‘Are you aware right now?’ using a light touch, like tapping a swing, to gently bring awareness back to the present moment without being neurotic or striving.

5. Cultivate Right View (Wisdom)

Adopt the ‘right view’ by intellectually reminding yourself that all experiences (emotions, sensations, thoughts) are natural processes arising from causes and conditions, rather than personal events.

6. Develop Continuity with Light Effort

Practice meditation with a light, sustained effort to ensure continuity of awareness without becoming tired or strained, emphasizing the importance of consistent, gentle practice.

7. Observe Desire/Aversion Without Judgment

When noticing wanting or aversion in the mind, simply observe it without self-laceration, as this act of seeing itself can be a form of self-liberation.

8. Practice Mindfulness in Daily Life

Recognize that meditation is about developing skillful states of mind, which can be done in any moment, including during conversations or negative reactions, not just in formal sitting practice.

9. Build Awareness Momentum

Consistently apply light touches of awareness throughout the day to build momentum, making awareness more sustained and less effortful over time, eventually leading to the ’light switch’ of awareness staying on more often.

10. Learn from Any Experience

Cultivate the understanding that any experience, regardless of its nature (overwhelm, chaos, joy), can be a basis for developing awareness, stability, and wisdom, as long as the right attitude is present.

11. Combine Directed and Open Awareness

When practicing open awareness, especially if you tend to get lost, alternate with periods of directed awareness (e.g., focusing on the breath for a few minutes) to maintain a foundation of concentration.

12. Accept Conditions As They Are

Embrace the practice of not manipulating or controlling experiences, but rather being with conditions exactly as they are, without judgment or striving for them to be different.

13. Practice Non-Grasping/Non-Clinging

Recognize that everything is constantly changing, and grasping onto impermanent experiences leads to suffering; gradually practice letting go of grasping and clinging to reorient your interaction with reality.

14. Form Skillful Mental Ruts

Recognize that personality and habits are not fixed but are ‘ruts’ of mental momentum; intentionally cultivate and deepen ‘skillful ruts’ of awareness and understanding to change how you experience life.

15. Develop Awareness of Seeing

Cultivate interest and skill in simply being aware that ‘seeing is happening,’ rather than getting absorbed in the content of what is seen, as this can be a radical change.

16. Relax the Body

Begin meditation by consciously relaxing the body to foster a more receptive state for awareness and ease.

17. Be Yourself and Be Aware

Allow yourself to be exactly as you are in the present moment while cultivating awareness, recognizing that self-acceptance is a powerful and healing part of the practice.