To transform deeper emotional difficulties, engage in the ‘Handshake Practice’ by first dropping mental baggage, then actively meeting your ‘beautiful monster’ (difficult emotion) by truly feeling it, being with it without judgment or attempt to fix, and patiently waiting for it to open up. This non-suppressing approach fosters trust with the emotional imprint, allowing for eventual communication and transformation rather than ineffective mental commands.
Access your innate ’essence love’ or ‘fundamental okayness’—a basic happiness without reason—by engaging with your ’not okay’ feelings through the handshake practice. By patiently meeting and being with these difficult feelings, you allow them to open up, revealing your intrinsic well-being and fostering inner strength, rather than seeking external happiness.
Counter ‘distorted speediness’ and restlessness (anxious energy banking on your body) by practicing belly breathing, which involves mind-scanning the agitated energy, breathing it down to your navel, holding for 5-7 seconds with relaxation, and then exhaling. This practice physiologically shifts your nervous system from anxiety to rest and recovery, calming your mind, clearing your head, and reducing exhaustion caused by subtle body agitation.
Practice ‘Drop It’ by physically mimicking the release of unnecessary worries, fears, and concerns (your ‘backpack’) with an attitude of ‘who cares?’ or ‘so what?,’ then take a deep breath and experience a few seconds of freedom and open awareness. This gives you respite from rumination and creates a temporary reference point of clear, unburdened awareness, making space for new, healthy insights.
Identify your ‘beautiful monsters’—unhealthy, distorted habitual patterns or ‘demons’—and recognize that while they feel real, they carry distorted messages and are not your true identity. Separating your identity from these patterns creates space for them to transform, leading to joy, compassion, and understanding of others.
Connect your cognitive understanding with your feeling world by developing practices that help you drop into your body and open your heart, allowing intellectual information to transform into felt understanding. This counters the cultural tendency towards intellectual-only grasping, ensuring deeper integration.
Seek calmness not primarily in the mind, but in the body, especially the subtle body, as disturbing this energetic level can prevent mental clarity and calm. Focusing on bodily calm first allows the mind to become clearer and meditation to work more effectively.
Recognize that modern life’s ‘speediness’ often keeps you in your head, preventing you from bringing understanding into your body for deeper integration. Be aware of the three speed limits (cognitive, physical, and subtle body/energetic feeling) to identify where your energy is being overdriven.
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