Regularly and honestly evaluate the personal consequences of your substance use and determine if your actions align with your values and the person you want to be.
Pause and be curious about how substance use makes sense for you, understanding what draws you to it so you can explore alternative ways to meet those underlying needs.
List the perceived benefits you gain from substance use, then learn and develop different skills to achieve those same positive effects without relying on the substance.
Learn and practice alternative ways to deal with your emotions and thoughts, rather than using substances as a primary coping mechanism.
Develop mindfulness strategies to stay in the present moment and practice self-compassion to manage emotions and thoughts, which can reduce the desire for substances and aid in learning.
When experiencing a slip or setback in behavior change, respond with kindness and understanding towards yourself instead of self-criticism, which helps you stay on the path of learning and persistence.
Utilize Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) principles to learn how to relate to pain and discomfort differently, understanding that leaning into these feelings is necessary to achieve your end goals.
Recognize that substance use often serves as avoidance; when removing the substance, actively learn to lean into, cope with, tolerate, and move through the discomfort it previously masked.
Understand that significant behavior change is an incredibly slow process that requires extensive new learning, patience, and tolerance for trial and error.
Understand that giving up substances necessitates learning new skills, such as how to socialize or deal with feelings, which takes considerable time, practice, and acceptance of setbacks.
Actively identify and change aspects of your environment that contribute to old behaviors, such as temporarily distancing yourself from certain friends or situations that trigger substance use.
Invest in and experience relationships and social interactions without relying on substances, recognizing that camaraderie and connection can be achieved without them.
Experiment with substances to understand their effects on you personally, helping you determine if they are truly beneficial or if they are not working well for you.
Learn and apply Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT) strategies, an evidence-based approach designed to help family members positively influence loved ones who are resistant to treatment.
Engage in self-care to manage the immense stress of caring for someone with a substance use problem, ensuring you remain emotionally regulated and effective in your support.
Let the direct, natural consequences of a loved one’s substance use choices occur, as experiencing these can activate their motivation for change.
Use CRAFT strategies to stay connected with a loved one struggling with substance use, as positive relationships compete with substance use, while doing so effectively without inadvertently supporting the use.
Engage in conversations about substance use with compassion, understanding, and curiosity, rather than judgment, to foster open dialogue and exploration.
Create a safe and comfortable environment for open conversation by approaching without a personal agenda, allowing the other person to express their thoughts and feelings freely.
Engage in conversations using ‘how,’ ‘what,’ and ‘why’ questions to encourage deeper sharing and understanding, rather than yes/no or agenda-driven questions.
Phrase requests in terms of what you do want (e.g., ‘I’d love it if you came home sober’) rather than what you don’t want, to shift the conversation’s tenor and improve relationships.
When making requests, first ask permission to share your idea, respect a ’no,’ and follow up with reflection and validation to ensure understanding and maintain connection.
Actively validate emotions and notice and reinforce any positive changes or efforts made by the individual, no matter how small, to encourage further growth.
Provide practical support (e.g., gym membership, app access, childcare, treatment payment) to reinforce and facilitate engagement in alternative, healthier behaviors.
Strategically set limits and withhold support for behaviors you want to discourage (e.g., not providing cash that could be used for substances), while still offering support for other positive areas.
Express anger or concerns when you are regulated and the loved one is not high or crashing, choosing a time when you can handle the conversation effectively and minimize negative outcomes.
Discard the belief that a loved one must ‘hit rock bottom’ to change, as this notion is cruel, untrue, and can have fatal consequences, especially with opioids.
Avoid using labels like ‘junkie,’ ‘addict,’ or ‘alcoholic’ unless the individual self-identifies with them, as these terms can be judgmental and push people away from help.
Recognize that a loved one’s substance use behavior, even if problematic, makes sense to them in some way (e.g., self-medicating underlying issues), and be curious about these reasons.
Be curious and seek to understand any underlying mental health issues that might be contributing to a loved one’s substance use, as these are often worth exploring.
Overcome the shame and judgment around discussing a loved one’s substance use by talking openly with trusted individuals to gain support and brainstorm solutions for yourself.
Actively intervene to prevent dangerous natural consequences, such as a loved one drinking and driving, as some risks are too high to allow to play out.