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A Buddhist Recipe for Handling Turmoil | Kaira Jewel Lingo

Oct 25, 2021 51m 6s 11 insights
<p>We all know that change is inevitable and impermanence is non-negotiable. But somehow it can feel surprising, maybe even wrong, when we personally hit turbulence. The Buddha had a lot to say about this, and so does our guest. </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Kaira Jewel Lingo has come back to the show to talk about her new book, <a href="https://www.kairajewel.com/books" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>We Were Made for These Times: Ten Lessons on Moving Through Change, Loss, and Disruption</em></a>. This episode explores a few of those strategies including: waking up to what's happening right now; trusting the unknown; a Buddhist list called the Five Remembrances; how gratitude helps us in times of disruption; and accepting what is (and why this is different from resignation or passivity). </p> <p><br /></p> <p>Kaira herself is no stranger to impermanence: she spent 15 years as a Buddhist nun, and then decided to leave, which caused no small amount of disruption. </p> <p><br /></p> <p><em>Please note: There are brief mentions of domestic violence, abuse, the suffering of refugees, and war in this episode</em>.</p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p>To help you find your way during times of upheaval, loss, and transition, Kaira Jewel has recorded a series of meditations in the Ten Percent Happier app. Check it out by downloading the <a href="https://10percenthappier.app.link/install" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Ten Percent Happier</a> app wherever you get your apps, tapping on the Singles tab, and searching for the topic called "Made for These Hard Times." Or, you can just click <a href="https://10percenthappier.app.link/prWTvx2sukb" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">here</a>.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>And while you're there, be sure to listen to our new podcast, <a href="https://10percenthappier.app.link/bIddyPEamkb" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Twenty Percent Happier</a>, available exclusively in the <a href="https://10percenthappier.app.link/install" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Ten Percent Happier app</a>. </p> <p><br /></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>Full Shownotes:</strong> <a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kaira-jewel-lingo-390" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kaira-jewel-lingo-390</a></p> <p><br /></p>
Actionable Insights

1. Accepting What Is

When facing difficult situations, accept what is rather than resisting it, as resistance creates tension, stress, and frustration, making the situation worse. This approach allows your energy to go towards useful resolution, enabling you to navigate challenges without being negatively impacted.

2. Engage the Present Moment

In times of tumult, anchor yourself by taking a breath, feeling your body (feet, hands, clothing), and noticing your surroundings to bring more of yourself ‘online.’ This practice helps you meet intense experiences with greater wisdom, recognizing that other things are happening alongside strong emotions, and caring for the present moment to care for the future.

3. Practice the Five Remembrances

Regularly reflect on the Buddha’s five remembrances mentioned (I am of the nature to grow old; I am of the nature to die; everyone I love and all that is dear to me are of the nature to change; my actions are my only true belongings). This practice helps desensitize you to these truths, allowing you to visualize inevitable changes and ask how you want to live each moment, thereby preparing for impermanence and not taking things for granted.

4. Trust the Unknown

Become comfortable with not knowing what will happen, as letting go of the need to control or predict the future opens up infinite possibilities. Rely on your present moment awareness (steps, breath, current awareness) as your refuge, knowing that this is enough to find peace and happiness amidst uncertainty.

5. Cultivate Regular Gratitude

Practice looking for the good and being grateful regularly, as this creates a subtle shift in mood and provides more space and lightness to embrace difficulties. Gratitude acts as a form of resourcing, making you strong enough to care for what is painful and difficult when challenging times arise.

6. Deeply Examine Difficult Situations

When in opposition to someone or something, look deeply to understand the root of the situation and its complexities, rather than just focusing on the surface. This perspective allows you to see the full humanity of others and engage with greater impact and effectiveness.

7. Embrace Humility and Mystery

Approach difficult situations and people with humility, acknowledging that you don’t have all the answers and there might be a ‘bigger logic’ at play. Let go of the need to conceive of everything, giving space for the mystery while still advocating for what’s important, as this softening can shift the situation in unexpected ways.

8. Fully Engage in Mundane Tasks

Apply full care and heart to whatever you are doing, even mundane tasks like washing dishes, feeding pets, or sweeping. Disengaging and rushing through tasks to get to something ‘more important’ prevents you from being your best self and leads to a future less aligned with your desires.

9. Set Intentions for Daily Actions

Before performing a routine action, set a positive intention for it, such as wishing well for your pet as you feed them. This practice brings a different quality to the action and can make you happy, transforming the mundane into a meaningful moment.

10. Support Others Amidst Uncertainty

When in a state of not knowing or limbo, actively seek ways to support, care for, share love with, and lift up others. This outward focus can help you navigate desperate situations with grace and dignity, preventing a victim mentality.

11. Maintain a Daily Meditation Practice

Aspire to have a daily meditation practice, even if busy times make it challenging to stick to a strict schedule. This consistent practice helps you stay grounded in the present moment and live your life deeply.