Practice loving-kindness (Metta) meditation, which involves sending good wishes to yourself and others, as it was originally designed as an antidote to fear and can help soothe anger and reconnect with your body.
Create or customize Metta phrases that resonate deeply with you, then focus on connecting with the underlying sense and feeling of those words rather than just reciting them mechanically, similar to how you rest attention on your breath.
Begin your Metta practice by directing loving-kindness towards ’easy people’ like pets, children, or mentors to generate positive feelings and prime your mind before extending the practice to yourself or more challenging individuals.
Do not expect a grand catharsis or breakthrough in Metta practice; success often manifests as subtle shifts like feeling ‘okay,’ non-ill will, or a general sense of balance, which is a valuable outcome.
Use Metta to cultivate a sense of non-separation, seeing others as fellow human beings with shared desires for well-being, which helps reduce isolating thoughts, hatred, and allows for engaged interaction without hostility.
Recognize that Metta (loving-kindness), Karuna (compassion), Mudita (sympathetic joy), and Upeka (equanimity) are interconnected heart qualities; practicing one often strengthens the others, leading to a more balanced and open heart.
Understand that mindfulness alone is not a complete solution; integrate practices like generosity (Dana), Metta, and ethical principles, especially if insight meditation is challenging or if you’re dealing with trauma.
Cultivate generosity (Dana) not only financially but also through generosity of spirit, being your authentic self, and offering service to others, as this acts as a form of ’letting go’ and dissolves self-centeredness.
To practice compassion, bring a suffering situation or being to mind and connect with the heartfelt desire for their well-being, using phrases like ‘May you be free from suffering’ or simply sitting with the feeling of not turning away from their pain.
Cultivate sympathetic joy by bringing to mind someone else’s success or happiness and wishing for their joy to continue or increase, even if you initially feel jealousy, as this is a mental exercise that nudges you towards non-envy.
Develop equanimity by pausing and acknowledging ’this is what is happening right now’ without immediately strategizing or trying to change it, allowing yourself to be present with whatever feelings arise.
Begin your Metta practice with a touch of humor or joy, such as recalling a funny memory, to ‘prime the pump’ and create an easy, open state of mind before starting the formal phrases.
Follow the classical Metta progression: direct loving-kindness to an easy person, then yourself, a mentor, a neutral person, a mildly difficult person, and finally, all beings everywhere to systematically expand your compassion.
Utilize Metta as a concentration practice; consistent engagement with the phrases and feelings can help unify the mind and lead to deeper states of absorption (Samadhi), though without attachment to specific outcomes.
When meditating, avoid ‘wanting’ a specific outcome or experience, as this desire can hinder progress; instead, cultivate the practice for its own sake and allow what unfolds to do so naturally.
Embrace the understanding that Dharma practice is ‘good in the beginning, good in the middle, and good in the end,’ meaning the benefits are present throughout your journey, regardless of whether you achieve ultimate goals.
When encountering aspirational texts like the Metta Sutta, which describe boundless kindness, approach them in ‘small, bite-sized pieces’ and focus on foundational practices (like easy beings) before aiming for universal love.
Consider undertaking a personal experiment focused on deepening generosity (Dana) and Metta in your daily life, as Devin did by connecting with and being generous to people like Uber drivers, to foster connection and service.
Consciously reduce ‘snappy, sarcastic, dry’ personality traits and instead show more of your heart to deepen relationships with family, partners, and friends, fostering greater connection and support.
In situations of suffering where direct action isn’t possible, practice compassion by simply ‘bearing witness’ to another’s pain without succumbing to shame or guilt for not being able to ‘fix’ everything.