To make sustainable changes, understand the underlying role each behavior plays in your life and address its root cause, rather than just focusing on the behavior itself.
Prioritize gaining internal knowledge and self-awareness to understand why you engage in certain behaviors, as external information alone is insufficient for lasting change.
Engage in a daily practice of solitude to tune into your body’s messages and cultivate internal knowledge, avoiding immediate consumption of external information like social media or emails upon waking.
Aim to be less reliant on external circumstances and others’ opinions to feel good, fostering a sense of internal control and self-validation.
When evaluating different approaches (e.g., diets), experiment for a set period (e.g., four weeks), paying close attention to your body’s responses (energy, mood, gut, sleep) to determine what works best for you.
Ensure that desired changes come from deep within you, driven by an energy of self-love and wanting the best for yourself, rather than from fear or self-criticism.
Be compassionate to yourself when making changes, as self-compassion, not self-criticism, is key to sticking with new behaviors long-term.
Practice setting boundaries in your life and clearly communicating your needs in social situations, understanding that this is crucial for aligning with your true self and reducing people-pleasing.
Clearly define your personal values and, before bed each day, reflect on whether your actions aligned with them, fostering internal validation and reducing the need for external approval.
Recognize that your response to external events is a choice, not a direct consequence, allowing you to reclaim your power by interpreting situations in a way that prevents generating unnecessary emotional stress.
When faced with adverse situations (e.g., someone cutting you off while driving), practice imagining compassionate ‘happiness stories’ for others’ actions to prevent generating emotional stress and its associated compensatory behaviors.
Daily journal about emotional triggers, asking ‘where did I get emotionally triggered today?’ and ‘why did that bother me?’ to learn from your responses and understand their root causes.
Challenge the ’life is an escalator’ myth by accepting that things will inevitably go wrong, adopting a mindset that plans for and accounts for problems rather than being surprised by them.
When you find yourself complaining, either convert the complaint into an action to address the issue or reframe it into a moment of gratitude to shift away from a victim mindset.
Consciously adopt a ‘good’ mindset when adversity strikes, viewing challenges as opportunities to train in resilience and problem-solving, eventually making this your default response.
Every morning, ask yourself: ‘What is the most important thing I have to do today?’ and focus on completing that singular priority to combat busyness and ensure truly important tasks get done.
Intentionally create moments of full presence for loved ones by disengaging from work (e.g., shutting laptop, putting phone away) at specific times, making it your daily priority when appropriate.
Make self-care activities, such as a 30-minute walk during lunch, your ‘most important thing’ for the day when needed, ensuring consistent attention to your well-being.
If you are in a position to advise others (e.g., as a doctor or coach), inform them about the impacts of their choices without dictating behavior, empowering them to make their own decisions.
Understand how childhood experiences influenced your adult behaviors, but then actively decide what to do about them and move forward, rather than remaining stuck in the past.